


A Light in the Dark

by ginahavens002



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, BAMF Felicity Smoak, Bratva, Bratva AU, Bratva Felicity Smoak, Bratva Oliver Queen, Character Death, Eventual Smut, F/M, Felicity is really just amazing, Lots of Angst, Minor Character Death, Oliver is an Idiot, Original Character Death(s), Slow Burn, Some happiness, but they're worth it, its gonna be a long ride tho, olicity - Freeform, oliver is an idiot but he does good, you're gonna wanna kill them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-10-25 09:31:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 69,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10761483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ginahavens002/pseuds/ginahavens002
Summary: Felicity Smoak met Oliver Queen when she had just turned eighteen years old. He was twenty eight at the time, and had just returned from Russia. They both had dark pasts, but somehow, managed to fall in love over the course of a year.  Flash forward five years, everything has changed. Felicity hates Oliver Queen - he is the enemy, but when her life is in danger, and everyone has turned against her, the only one who she can trust is the one person she has hated for four years.





	1. The Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! I was absolutely blown away by the response I received on my first fic (”Olicity 5x20 Drabble”), and this idea just popped in my head, so I thought I’d give a try at writing it out! I’m still pretty new to writing fics,and i don’t know if i have the knack for, but I hope you all enjoy! If I decide to continue it, and you would like to be tagged in future installments of this fic, let me know! P.S any feedback and comments would be great, and feel free to message me or ask me any questions! <3 Gina

Part 1: The Arrival (FIVE YEARS AGO: March 1st, 2012)

Felicity fidgeted with her phone for the hundredth time that hour. Her mother shot her a pointed look from across the table, effectively telling her to stop moving. Felicity couldn’t help it. She was bored, bored out of her mind, and all she wanted to do was leave. She hated Bratva briefings, and she hated that she was forced to attend meetings about Bratva business, when she would much rather be doing normal things other seventeen year olds her age did. Her mother told her that attending these meetings “prepared her for her future,” but Felicity didn’t want a future with the Bratva. She wanted to do some good in the world, and working for an illegal criminal organization didn’t seem to fulfill that need. 

Felicity Smoak had grown up in the Bratva, her father Anatoli had been a Captain for over 20 years, but had been murdered in front of her when she was just eleven years old. Felicity was never quite able to remember what had happened that night, but she knew from that moment on, everything had changed. Her mother, Donna Smoak, was an interesting character. Donna never really understood how to be a mother to a girl like Felicity, and left the job of raising her to different nannies and caretakers. After her father died, Donna seemed to blame Felicity for her father’s misfortune, and pushed her away even further. Felicity was allowed to go to school for a few years, but once she turned fourteen, her mother and new step dad, Victor, decided it was no longer safe for her. They decided to homeschool her, and without the access to the outside world, Felicity had nobody. She spent almost all of her time in the mansion, but managed to entertain herself by walking around the gardens, or hacking into secure networks and databases. By the time she was sixteen, she was a better hacker than almost anyone in the Bratva, and because of this, Victor began to employ her in Bratva business. At first it was just a small hack, here or there, but by the time that Victor and the other captains of the Starling branch of Bratva had realized her potential, she became a full fledged member before she could even blink. Of course, Felicity had no choice in the matter, despite all her resisitence, and since going to her mother for support was not an option, Felicity was forced to do whatever Victor asked. Victor had turned hacking - what had once been an escape for her - into something she detested. In order to take out her frustrations and fears, she began to involve herself in martial arts. She started training everyday with the security guard, John Diggle, until a few months later, she was able to handle a gun, defend herself against four armed men, and throw a mean left hook that would leave a bruise for a month. 

Felicity never really felt loved, and that lack of love and isolation didn’t turn her into a monster, but quite the opposite. Felicity managed to smile, to laugh, to brighten everyone’s day. She did her very best not to let the darkness of the world she lived in corrupt her, and she never stopped trying to do the right thing. She was a brilliant force of nature, smart, strong sophisticated, and beautiful. And she was only seventeen. 

As Felicity sat in the chair in the dining room, still unable to keep from fidgeting her feet under the table so that her mother wouldn’t see, she imagined a life away from the Bratva. She didn’t want this for herself. She didn’t want to find out the best way to smuggle drugs, and she didn’t want to hack the police departments records to erase any evidence about Bratva transactions. The Bratva was evil, and she wanted no part in it. Unfortunately for her, she had no choice. The Bratva was a family, and the only way out was death. She had her whole future planned out for her, once she turned eighteen she would be an official ranking member of the bratva, and a few years later she would have an arranged marriage to a Bratva Captain. She was then to continue hacking and laundering money for the Bratva, all the while raising her own kids so that they become the next generation of Bratva leaders and thugs.

She wanted out - badly, but she had no choice. God, she hated having no choice. She was seventeen, for Christ’s sake, and she didn’t want to know what the future held for her just yet. She wanted excitement, and adventure, and -

“Felicity,” a stern and heavily accented voice broke her out of her thoughts, “can you hack the SCPD server and check the source of the so-called anonymous tips they may have received? If there is a traitor within the Bratva I want to know who it is,” said Victor. 

“Sure,” replied Felicity, her tone was casual, but she narrowed her eyes at Victor, to let him know just how much she detested this, not that he would care. She moved her hands to the keyboard on the computer that was placed on the table in front of her, and worked quickly on getting into the mainframe. When she looked through the tip line, she tried to find the IP addresses, or phone numbers from whom the tip was given, but they had been mailed to the SCPD, according to the files. “I’m sorry Victor,” said Felicity, “the tips were mailed to the SCPD, there is no way for me to find out who did this.” Her lips curved up into a small smile, which she knew would annoy him to no end, and she thanked every God she knew that this setback would have Victor reeling for the next few weeks. 

Victor shook his head, sighed, and glared, his lack of verbal response letting her know how annoyed he was with this. Victor Petrov was not a kind man. He had risen quickly through the ranks of the Bratva by being a merciless killer who performed any hit that was ordered. After her father died, he was promoted to a temporary captain of Starling, but the reign of terror which he instilled over the people who worked for him allowed him to make the position permanent. Everyone feared him, and only a few short months after her father’s death, he was already moving in with her mother. When he moved in, things became… darker. He hired more security guards - most of whom followed her around never giving her a moment of privacy (other than John Diggle), took out most of the “frivolous” art and sculptures that laid around the mansion, and turned it into an empty and cold house. It stopped feeling like home after that, and even three years later, Felicity did not feel any more at home. He tried to order her around, control her, and forced her to do whatever she asked. Her resistance, usually in the form of sarcastic remarks, or “accidentally” hacking his alarm clock to ring at 4:00 AM, only got her so far. Felicity knew that in order to avoid a conflict with her mother, or to cause trouble, it was easier to agree, but it went against everything inside of her. One day, she promised to herself, she was going to fight back. But today was not that day unfortunately. 

After an hour or so of discussing more Bratva business which Felicity could not force herself to listen to, the meeting was almost adjourned.

“We have one more matter of business to attend to. Oliver Queen. He is moving back to Starling, after spending over six years working for the Bratva in Russia. As you all know, he went missing on the Queen’s Gambit ten years ago, at the ripe age of eighteen. He spent two years on an island, two years that turned him into,” Victor paused, searching for the right word to say, ”well something else entirely. He somehow made it to Russia and became involved with the Bratva. After three years in Russia, he was able to return home, but he only returned for a short while to see his family and let them know he was alive. He then went back to Russia, claiming to work in the Russian Branch of his father’s company, Queen Consolidated, when really he was continuing to work for the Bratva. Oliver spent five years there, doing incredible work for the Bratva, and his work with QC created a perfect money laundering operation in Russia. As a reward for his hard work and dedication, Oliver is being transferred back to Starling. He will be given the position of Junior Captain, and will be spending a great deal of time here as he will be helping me run everything. When I go for my three-month long trip to Russia this summer, he will take charge of Bratva matters in Starling. I expect you all to treat him with the utmost respect. Anything Oliver Queen asks, he gets. Do I make myself clear?” asked Victor. Felicity swore knew he glared at her, as if he was expecting a comment back from her, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction at looking at him. 

It was no secret that Felicity questioned his authority, but she wouldn’t dare to question him in front of all his men. Victor terrified her - she knew he could kill her, or her mother, without so much as blinking. He was ruthless, and for now, until she was stronger and smarter, she would let him have his small victories. 

The sound of knocking on the door broke her out of her thoughts. The door knob turned and suddenly a very handsome man walked through the door. He was tall, at least 6′2″, with steely blue eyes, and a jawline that was really something to be marveled at. As he walked into the room, he came to stand to the front of the table. His eyes scanned the room, before dropping to meet Felicity’s. She was looking at him, mainly because he was, well he was very attractive. And the fact of the matter was, that with her sheltered and isolated life, she did not meet many men, other than her security guards, and they were all at least thirty five and married. And he was a very good looking man. He stared at her for a little longer than necessary, before moving his gaze to Victor. “Thank you for having me here Victor. I am very grateful for the opportunity to be back in my home city,” he spoke, before shaking his hand. Victor shook his hand, then promptly stood up and dismissed everyone from the meeting. Felicity walked out of the room slowly, trying to avoid looking at him, but god damnit, it was hard! When she had exited the room, and had made her way into the living room, she sat down on the couch and curled up with one of the books she had been reading. She loved to read, and although nowadays she didn’t have as much time, she would read anytime she got the chance. 

Felicity didn’t hear him enter the room, too absorbed in her reading to notice the large figure looming over her. “Hi” a voice interrupted her thoughts. Felicity looked up to see Oliver, Oliver Queen talking to her. He really was very good looking. But he was also older, like ten years older, and a guy like that, a guy who looked and talked like that was never going to go for her. But still, he was very nice to look at, at least. 

“Hi.” She replied, some what softly in attempt to keep her voice from shaking. She was annoyed with herself for letting his stupid perfect face alter the tone of her voice, and resolved not to let that happen again. 

“I’m Oliver Queen.” He extended his hand to shake her own, and she got up as her small hand slipped into his own rather large hand, gripping it tightly. Her father always told her a firm handshake was the best way to make a good impression, and although she didn’t remember much of her father, she always kept that piece advice in her mind. 

“I’m Felicity. Felicity Smoak.” She replied, a soft smile crossing on her face, letting go of his hand before letting it fall to her side. 

“I know. Look, I just wanted to introduce myself, since I will be spending a lot of time here. I promise not to get too into your way. I hear that you’re the girl I need to see if I need any tech help?” He asked, a small smile on his lips as he spoke.

“Uh, yeah. That’s me. But like I told Victor, there is no way for me to find out who is sending the anonymous tips in to the SCPD, because they were mailed in. And I don’t know much about mail, I mean honestly I can’t remember the last time I ever wrote a letter, much less received or sent one. And -”

“I believe you Felicity,” he said softly. The conviction in his voice combined with the firm look in his eyes let her know he was telling the truth. “I met your father… back when I was in Russia eight years ago. He was a great man. He spoke a great deal about you,” he paused, taking a breath.”I am sure he would be very proud of the woman you have become.” 

Felicity looked at him, tears brimming at her eyes. Her father had spoke of her, often. She knew her father had always loved her, and she missed him every day. She couldn’t help but feel the pain of losing him all over again whenever someone mentioned him. “Thank you” she replied softly, her eyes not willing to meet his own this time. She took a shaky breath, before giving him a soft smile, and walking away.

————————————————————————————

Felicity went through the motions of punching the bag. She had recently begun to shift her focus from Tai Kwon Do to Boxing, and all the extra anger she had in her was finally being put towards something productive - punching the shit out of the bag. She hated not being in control of her emotions, and Victor, her mother, this life, this everything - it was getting her angry. Dig wasn’t here today, off on some assignment, so it was just her and the punching bag in the large gym space. 

After about eight rounds on the bag, Felicity walked to her gym bag positioned at the far corner of the gym to take out her phone. She looked at the date at the top of the screen, March 13th, two days away from her birthday. Felicity forgot about her birthday, she never really took the time to celebrate anymore. Usually her mother would have one of the maids bake her a cake, or have her assistant buy Felicity a gift. Victor had actually never once acknowledged her birthday to her face, usually being off somewhere on Bratva business, but some years he remembered to get her a card, that he hadn’t even signed, and had simply said “Happy Birthday” on the cover. Needless to say, Felicity didn’t like birthdays. The only person who ever made her feel special on her birthday was John Diggle. He would take her out for a walk through the gardens, and then have a slice of cake with her as he watched her blow out the candles. He was more of a parent to her than her mother and step-father combined, and she was very grateful to have him in her life. He was a good man, and Feclity loved him dearly.

Felicity dropped her phone back in the bag. Hearing the bell of the round ring again. She decided to wait one more round before starting up her routine on the punching bag again. She couldn’t believe she would be eighteen in two days. Two days until she was an official adult, two days until she was an official member of the Bratva, two days until the rest of her life began. She was not looking forward to it. She had wanted to go to college, but Victor told her that going off on her was too dangerous (not that he cared), and that her time and efforts would be better spent hacking for the Bratva. Felicity argued with him about it for months, but in the end she let it go when her mother told her to stop being selfish and do as she was told. When her mother told her to something, no matter what it was, Felicity always did it. She couldn’t help herself, she wanted her mother to see how much she loved her, how much she wanted to be loved by her. 

Felicity heard the sound of the start bell sound off again, and she walked back to the bag. She once again began to take out her frustrations on the bag. She kept hitting and punching, moving through the motions even when she heard the stop bell. All her anger was coming out and she continued to punch the bag, as tears started to brim at her eyes. She through a few more punches when suddenly she threw a hook sloppily and jammed her wrist hard. She heard a sharp crack. “Shit,” she muttered. 

“Are you okay?” a voice asked. Felicity looked up, she knew that voice, that voice belonged to a very handsome, very shirtless Oliver Queen. He was at the entrance of the gym, god knows how long he had been standing there, watching her. It was clear he was here to workout, because if Oliver Queen’s body looked like that, he definitely worked out, she thought to herself. It didn’t escape Felicity’s attention the amount of scars he had on his chest. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what he had been put through to gain those scars. 

“Yeah I’m okay.” She replied, her voice very shaky, as tears rolled down her cheeks. Oliver simply nodded before strolling over and walking up next to her, and then grabbed her wrist, examining it. Felicity drew a breath as he held her wrist, watching as he studiously checked her wrist. He tried to bend it in different directions, but she groaned. He made eye contact with her once again, his blue eyes looking back at her own. 

“You threw a bad punch, using a lot of force. You might’ve broken one of the small bones in your wrist,” he said softly. Felicity nodded in return, not quite sure what to say. He began to unravel her wraps on her wrist, neither of them saying anything as he slowly uncoiled it from her wrist. After about a minute or so, the wraps were off and he threw them to the floor. “Come on,” he said “let’s ice this,” as he motioned for her to follow him. In the far corner of the gym there were some medical supplies on a large shelf that contained ace bandages, knee braces, ankle braces, etc. Oliver found one of the ice packs that you had to crack in order for them to become cold. He grabbed it, crushing the bag, so as to activate the cold and then gently picked up her wrist and placed it on it. “Here,” he said, his eyes boring into her, “hold onto this for a second. I’m going to wrap an ace bandage around it so that you can ice it and compress it at the same time.”

Felicity gave him a small smile and nodded, before holding the ice pack on her left hand with her right one. He grabbed an ace bandage of the shelf, and began to wrap it around her wrist. “May I ask why you were punching the bag so hard?” he said softly, eyes not looking at hers, since they were focused on making sure he did a good job of wrapping the ice pack to her wrist.

“Just had too much coffee I guess,” she replied, not really feeling like getting into it. Her voice betrayed her, however, for it was shaky, and another tear rolled down her cheek. She barely knew this man, and she wasn’t about to tell him all of her problems, especially since he worked for Victor. She suddenly realized he couldn’t be trusted - he worked for Victor out of all people - and this mini-crush or attraction or whatever she was starting to feel for him had to be stopped. He could be dangerous, and for all she knew, Victor could’ve sent him down here to spy on her. 

He looked at her quizzically, before finishing wrapping her wrist. He then gently swiped his thumb on her cheek, which was wiping away the tear that had fallen there. His hand stayed on her cheek a moment too long, before moving it back to her injured wrist, and Felicity drew a stuttered breath, avoiding his gaze once again, even though she could feel him looking at her. 

“Keep the bandage on for twenty minutes, then remove the ice pack. After that, I can come wrap your wrist again, and you’ll need to elevate it.” He kept looking at her, no, gazing down at her. He really was very tall, Felicity practically had to strain her neck just to see his eyes. 

“Right, of course,” she said quickly, this time keeping her voice much more steady. She drew her wrist from his hand, and let it fall, because he really needed to stop holding it. She couldn’t show this man any weakness, or let him know anything about her, it was obvious now that he couldn’t be trusted. He worked with Victor, and Victor was evil. “Thank you for all your help, and don’t worry about rebandaging it, Raisa or someone can do it, since you’ll probably be here working out, because well, why else would you come down here. And your shirtless, and when people are shirtless in a gym - its to workout obviously, not to wrap peoples wrists, and, “ Felicity looked up at him, realizing her babble had caused a small smile formed on his lips, clearly he was amused. “And you probably should be getting back to that. Sorry about this, and thank you for your help,” she said quickly, wanting to get out of his presence. She began to move, when his wrist caught her elbow, stilling her. 

“It was no trouble at all Felicity. I hope your wrist feels better.” He replied, giving her one last smile, before turning to walk towards the weight section in the middle of the gym. Felicity turned away quickly, walking towards the doors, and left. He was older than her, ten years older. He could not be trusted. 

It was only when she was already up the stairs that she realized that she had left her phone and gym bag there, but there was no way she was going back down there now - now that he was probably just as shirtless and sweating and lifting weights and she really didn’t need to see that - for her own sanity. She decided she’d just go back for it later, and went up to her room to lay in her bed. She put on a silly movie and laid there, until after about twenty minutes, she realized she needed to take off the ace bandage. She unraveled it, and through the now only semi-cold ice back onto her night stand and laid back down. She wrapped the ace bandage on her wrist herself, not doing a very good job, but she didn’t want to bother Raisa, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to go ask Oliver to do it. She then took a few pillows from behind her and used them to prop up her wrist. She continued to watch the movie, not really paying attention as her eyes drifted close. Before she knew it, Felicity was fast asleep.

———————————————————————————–

“Felicity! Felicity, wake up!” Felicity opened her eyes slightly, to see a very angry Donna Smoak looking at her. “We have dinner with Oliver in half an hour. I expect you dressed and showered in twenty. Also you left your phone downstairs in the gym, anyone could've taken it. You need to be more responsible” Donna placed her phone on the table with a smack, then left the room promptly, slamming the door behind her.

Felicity slowly got up, accidentally placing her weight on her injured wrist. She let out a groan and then got off the bed. She stripped of her gym clothes, unwrapped her wrist, and hopped in the shower. After a few minutes she was done, and she rebandaged her wrist, once again not doing a very good job. She then walked over to the closet, putting on some jeans, boots, and en elegant top. She looked at her watch, noticing she only had a few minutes left, and she decided that it was better to be downstairs early, knowing how Donna would react if she was even a minute late.

As she walked down the grand staircase that led into the foyer, she noticed Oliver Queen standing in the center of the room, conversing with one of the maids in Russian. He was wearing a suit, except his jacket was held in his hand, so really, he was in suspenders, and damn did he look good. Felicity gulped a little before making her way downstairs, as Oliver turned to look at her. His eyes immediately dropped to her wrist, eyeing the shitty job she had done wrapping it, before slightly raising his eyebrow and looking at her. 

“Hi.” She said, not really knowing what else to say. She had hoped that her mother and Victor would’ve been here by now so that she wouldn’t be alone with him.

“Hi. How’s your wrist?” he asked, his voice sounding concerned. Felicity had to know better than to fall for that though, because he still wasn’t to be trusted - something she had to keep reminding herself of.

“It’s a little sore, but it’s feeling better,” she lied, in fact her wrist hurt like a bitch, but she wasn’t going to let him hold it and wrap it again for her. She’d go to the doctor or something if it kept bothering her, but he didn’t need to know that.

“The way you wrapped your wrist - it’s cutting off the circulation to your hand. It’s blue - here let me,” he placed his jacket on the table, then took a step towards her before taking her hand in his own. He gently began to unwrap her wrist - as Felicity noticed just how poorly she had wrapped it. Maybe that was why it was hurting so badly, but as he continued to unwrap it, Felicity realized he was once again touching her, talking to her, and that had to be stopped. Immediately. 

“You really don’t have to it’s -” she began, but he interrupted her quickly. 

“It’s no trouble at all. I know how much a jammed wrist, or worse, a broken wrist can hurt. Back when I was in the Bratva I broke my wrist during a fight, and I wasn’t able to train or fight for weeks. You have to take care of this properly.” He finished rewrapping her wrist, before smiling once again. Who was this man? Why was he being so kind to her? Before she could finish her asking herself silent questions, Victor and Donna walked into they foyer. 

“Oliver, good to see you. Felicity.” said Victor, smiling at Oliver, while giving Felicity a stern look.

“We have reservations for the four of us at Table Salt at eight. Victor and I unfortunately have some last minute business to attend to, so we will try to join you both by eight-thirty, nine at the latest. Please start to order and eat without us! My apologies, Oliver.” Said Donna, her voice was almost disgustingly sweet as she spoke. Felicity had to keep herself from rolling her eyes.

“That won’t be a problem Donna,” said Oliver, “we will both see you there then.” With that, Victor and Donna nodded, before exiting through the doors. Felicity watched them leave, silently cursing them for leaving her alone with Oliver. She didn’t trust herself to be alone with him. She then turned to look at Oliver who was busy putting on his jacket. He then turned to look at her, smiling once again. He needed to stop smiling, it was just wasn’t fair. “Shall we?” he asked, extending his arm. Felicity hesitantly placed her uninjured hand in his own, as he led them out the foyer. As they made their way outside, Felicity looked for the town car, but didn’t see one in the driveway.

“I’m not sure where the car is, but I’ll go inside and ask John to -” but before she could finish her sentence he interrupted. 

“No need, we can take the Ducati. We will get their faster.” He said, before moving them towards the back of the driveway, where his Ducati stood parked. 

“Oh. Uh, well, it’s really not a problem to take the car, and I’m actually a little scared of motorcycles, so really it won’t be a problem to call the driver to see where he is.” She said, and while she was afraid of motorcycles, she was more afraid of sitting behind him and gripping his chest for ten minutes.

“I promise I won’t let anything happen to you Felicity. And besides, your mother and Victor already took the car.” He stated simply, and the conviction in his tone let her knew he wasn’t lying. Whatever his motives were, she trusted that he wouldn’t let anything happen to her on that bike. He grabbed a helmet off the bike and placed it on her head, before clasping it underneath her chin. He then moved to put on his own helmet before straddling the bike. She followed suit gently putting her arms around him, trying her best to make as little contact as possible. 

“You’re going to have to hold on to me a little tighter than that if you want to stay on,” he said, sounding amused. She tugged her hands around him a little tighter, and a moment later he was starting the motorcycle.

———————————————————————————

They arrived at the restaurant ten minutes later. The motorcycle ride had been nice. Really nice. And she needed to forget how it felt to hold onto his rock hard abs as they zipped through the town. He led her into the restaurant, hand on her back. He probably had no idea how much that little touch affected her, and she did her best to act completely normal. She needed to stop feeling this way. He was older. He couldn’t be trusted. She repeated that to herself on a loop as they entered the restaurant. 

Once they were inside, they hostess led them to their table. Felicity sat down at the table, and Oliver sat across from her. They silently perused the menus until the waitress asked them what they wanted to order. Felicity ordered the cajun seafood pasta, while Oliver order a roasted butternut squash garden salad. Not liking the silence, Felicity decided to speak, “How has your return from Russia been so far?”

Oliver looked up at her as she spoke, his eyes had previously been eyeing the wine list. “It’s been… peaceful. I like it here much better, Russia was very cold.” He responded, his eyes never leaving hers as he spoke.

“My father never liked going to Russia either, he hated when he had to go there for business, said the cold weather and cold people made for a cold stay,” she responded, not knowing why she chose to bring up her father. She wasn’t actually quite sure how to respond to him, but she couldn’t seem to stop the thought from flying from her mouth.

“I agree. I never liked it much either.” He responded.

“Then why did you stay?” asked Felicity, not realizing the gravity of that question as soon as she said it.

“When I came back from my five years of being ‘dead’, I-I wasn’t sure how to go back to normal.” He paused, then continued “By staying in Russia, I was able to distance myself from all of it. But, after five more years there I realized that it was time to come home, time to see my family. So I came back.”

Felicity was shocked at his response. He had been so honest, so trusting she wasn’t sure what to say. Thankfully, the waiter had come with their waters, and Oliver ordered himself a wine. Once the waiter left, Felicity unsure of what to say, changed the topic, “I love the ‘05 Vieux Château Certan”.

He raised his eyebrow, with a smirk on his lips, before saying, “aren’t you a little young to be drinking fancy wines?”

“I’m also a little too young to be involved in the Bratva. Besides, I turn eighteen in two days.”

“The legal drinking age is twenty-one.” He replied.

“I’m aware.” She quipped back, not really sure how their conversation had shifted from something so heavy to something akin to banter.

He simply shook his head to himself before taking a sip out of his water. They continued to make small chit chat, talking about their favorite wines, until the waiter delivered their food. By the time it was nine, they had finished, and Victor and Donna still hadn’t arrived. Felicity checked her phone to see a text from Donna that read ‘We can’t make it. Tell Oliver we’re sorry’. Felicity informed Oliver and they left the restaurant, their check having already been paid for by Victor. They left on the Ducati, Felicity gripping him tightly this time, and before she knew it they were home. 

Oliver led them inside again, his hand on the small of her back as he led her inside. Once they were inside the foyer, he turned to look at her and spoke, “Thank you for a wonderful evening.”

“It was my pleasure Oliver. Goodnight.” she replied.

“Make sure you take of the bandage on your wrist.” he said in a firm tone. 

“Right, will do. Well, goodnight then” she said, looking up at him as she spoke. He really was very tall, and his 6′2″ frame dwarfed her 5′4″ one. 

“Goodnight Felicity.” He spoke softly, staring down at her, once again smiling. He couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was. She was so strong, and funny, and while it was clear to him that she was afraid of him or didn’t trust him, she treated him with the utmost respect and kindness. He knew that he shouldn’t be feeling this way, she was ten years younger than him, but he couldn’t help himself. Something about her had gotten under his skin, right from the beginning, and he couldn’t seem to shake it. She left to walk up the stairs, turning her head back once more as she reached the top before walking towards her room. 

Oliver turned his head and walked towards his own room, which was on the other side of the house, where the guests stayed. He didn’t want to leave her, though, he had seen her crying earlier, and it wasn’t from what had happened to her wrist. He wanted to make her feel better, to hold her and tell her it would be all right. But he was older, ten years older and she wasn’t even eighteen. He needed to stop thinking about her like that - but he couldn’t. He knew that if she ever found out, ever learned his secret, his entire life would be compromised, and she would never recover. He had to make sure she didn’t find out, for her own sake. Still despite the worry looming over him, Oliver couldn’t help but replay their conversation from dinner over in his mind, he had to admit, she had an excellent taste in wine. 

He entered his living quarters quietly, and made his way to his bed. He sat down, stripping of his jacket and tie, before removing the rest of his clothes. He put on a pair of grey sweatpants, before lying down and closing his eyes. For the first time in ten years, he fell asleep instantly.

———————————————————————————–

FIVE YEARS LATER (March 1st, 2017)

“Keep your shoulder square Felicity,” said John, as she threw a punch, before dodging his own. The stop bell sounded, and they stepped off the mats. Felicity was good at fighting. Over the past five years she had learned over five different forms of martial arts, and was good at all of them. She was not someone to be messed with, and knowing that gave her a sense of security nothing else could, especially with her world.

She started training more obsessively four years. After “The Event”. She wanted revenge, and she wasn’t quite sure how to get it, or how to go about it, but she knew she had to be strong enough to kill him, to make him pay for what he did. 

They had been training for over two hours, when John got a text from his wife saying he had to go pick up his kids. “I’ll see you later. Good work today kid,” he said, before putting a hand on her shoulder, and then turning to leave. Felicity toweled off the sweat that accumulated on her face and body and slowly made her way up the stairs. She began to walk towards the grand staircase up to her room, when she saw someone standing in the foyer. His back was turned, but he was dressed in dark blue jeans and a grey henley - probably some Bratva banger whom Victor had hired to perform a hit on somebody. She was planning on ignoring him, when he turned his head, she saw who it was, recognizing him immediately. 

“Felicity” He breathed out, his voice almost sounding relieved.

How dare he? How dare he? The fucking asshole. This fucking asshole had the audacity to show up in her house. Felicity’s blood boiled as she saw him. Oliver Queen was back. And after what had happened, almost four years ago to this day, she was in shock. She took one look at him before running the other way, not knowing what else to do. She wanted to kill him, to shoot him, but she knew he was much stronger and agile than her. So instead she ran, hoping she would be able to make it to her room and lock her door before he could catch her. 

Of course she didn’t make it very far before Oliver’s arms were around her. She kicked him in the groin before elbowing him in the shoulder, but he was too fast and he caught her elbow, and spun her around, keeping her in arms locked behind her back, as he pulled her back to his chest using her arms. “I need to talk to you Felicity. Please.” He said silently. He knew she hated him, he had made sure of that, but it was better she hated him than know the truth. But she was in danger, and he was going to do everything in his power to protect her. 

She squirmed in his arms, doing everything to break his hold on her, but unfortunately, Oliver Queen was one of the few Bratva thugs she couldn’t go up against. She finally relented before speaking, “Let go of me Oliver. You and I are done, and after what you did, after you killed my mother, I think I have nothing to say to you.”

“Victor ordered me to kill her, Felicity, I had no choice” He replied, lying to her, because if she knew the truth, he would only endanger her more. He wasn’t going to tell her that Donna Smoak wasn’t her real mother, or that Donna had been trying to kill her the moment he had been forced to shoot her. There was so much else Felicity didn’t even know about, and the only thing that mattered was that she was in danger. 

“You and I were in a relationship and you killed her! You told me you loved me, that you wanted to run away from this life with me, and the next day you’re killing my mother! Get off me!” she screamed, this time thrashing around in his arms, which really did very little to dissuade him. 

“Felicity I know you hate me. But I never lied about loving you. Everything I did, I did to keep you safe. And you are not safe here. You have to leave immediately.” He said, speaking in a calm tone.

“If you think I’m going anywhere with you, you’re crazier than I thought. You’re a cold-blooded killer. And I hate you.” She spat, and the harshness of her words affected Oliver more than he cared to admit. At that moment she kicked him again in the groin, which made him loosen his hold on her arms. She threw her head back, before turning around and punching him hard in the face. Before he had time to recover she grabbed his arm as he tried to block her next punch, and she twisted it before kneeing him again, and kicking him to the floor, falling on top of him. Her legs straddled his chest as she sat on top of him pinning his arms. 

“Feel better?” He asked, letting Felicity know that everything she had just did to him, he had allowed her to do. 

“I’ll feel better when there is a bullet in that pretty little face of yours.” She replied, angrily, which only caused him to twitch his lips and smile. Before she could blink he had knocked her down off his chest and flipped them, this time he was looming over her, chest to chest, all his weight on his forearms that were placed around her head, effectively caging her in. 

“You’re life is in danger. Victor is trying to have you killed, he has been for a few days now. I only just heard about it, but I came as soon as I heard. I won’t let anyone hurt you Felicity.” He said sternly, his eyes glaring at hers.

“You have already hurt me more than anyone else can. And given that I don’t trust you, I doubt what you’re saying is even true. For all I know this could be an elaborate plan to kill me, like you killed my mother. Remember that? When you shot a bullet into her chest?” she said angrily, tears brimming her eyes. 

“You have no idea what happened four years ago. And I don’t care if you trust me or not, because you are coming with me” He replied coldly, 

“Like hell I am” she snapped, trying to move underneath him and get out from under his grasp, but he wouldn’t budge.

He pulled out his phone from his back pocket, before playing a recording he had saved. A gruff voice, Victor’s, spoke “It is time we killed Felicity, she has been around too long and knows too much. If she finds out, it will compromise everything, and I won’t risk my position. Put out on a hit for her, but have the Triad take her out, I don’t want my hands dirty. Do you understand?” The message beeped and Oliver put his phone back in his pocket.

“That message was six days ago. You are not safe here.” He said, before getting up off her. Felicity slowly got up, looking at him. That voice was Victor’s there was no doubt about it, and the lack of security other than John Diggle in her house these past few days was alarming. Maybe she wasn’t safe, but she wasn’t going anywhere with him. He was the enemy. 

“I can take care of myself. I don’t need your help. Now leave. Immediately.” She stated, before moving to walk to her room. She was going to gather a few of her things, and then take her car and leave. 

“I can’t let you do that Felicity. Please come with me,” he begged 

“Not a chance in hell” she replied, before turning around and walking up the stairs. Before she reached the top stair a gun shot went off and she ducked. Oliver was at her side within a few moments as bullets kept firing over her head. Oliver shielded her with his body and rushed them down the stairs. He ran them outside together before opening the door of his car to her and forcing her in. He quickly jumped in the other end before starting up the car and driving. Bullets kept firing at them as they drove out the driveway and only once they had left the premises of the mansion, did they stop.

Fuck, she thought to herself. She was stuck in a car with Oliver Queen, the man who killed her mother. She wanted to kill him. But he had also just saved her life.

“What the hell was that?” she asked.

“That was Victor following through. You are not safe Felicity, and running out of town isn’t enough to keep you safe. This goes way beyond Victor trying to kill you. Victor has painted you as the traitor who has been leaking information to the SCPD about the Bratva. The entire Starling Bratva wants your head. You aren’t safe here anymore.” he replied, before accelerating the car as he pulled onto the highway. 

“If that were true, why has everyone been treating me normally these past six days?” she asked, finding serious flaws in his statement.

“Because Victor just sent out the release an hour ago that you were the traitor. I had found out he wanted you dead about a day ago, so I drove into town, but moments before I arrived at your house, I saw the alert. I knew it wouldn’t be long before someone tried to kill you, and I was right.” he stated matter-of-factly. 

“Why now? Why didn’t Victor have me killed four years ago?” she asked, not understanding anything at the moment.

“He tried. But he failed, and he realized that he would have to find a way to kill you without raising suspicion. Alexei was gaining too much power at the time, and would’ve challenged him and taken over as the position of captain. After his last attempt failed four years ago, he knew he would have to wait to try and kill you again. Alexei was murdered last month, so Victor was finally able to carry out his plans of trying to get you killed. You are a big threat to him Felicity.” 

“He tried to kill me four years ago?” she asked.

“Yes.” he replied grimly, the thought of her death something he couldn’t really bear to think about.

“Why?” she asked.

“I don’t know, Felicity, but I promise you, I will find out.” he stated.


	2. Running

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FIVE YEARS AGO: Felicity and Oliver start to grow closer, they celebrate her birthday, and other things! Also Victor is a dick. I hate him. We learn a lot more about Oliver and all his secrets!
> 
> FIVE YEARS LATER (NOW): Oliver and Felicity are still on the run, and Felicity is not happy. We learn a little bit more about Oliver's secrets, and other stuff :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I am so happy with this story and the support its received, so thank you all so much! Instead of studying for a test, I am writing this fic and it is soo worth it! It seems as if I've caught the writing bug, and I can't seem to help myself! I hope you all enjoy the next chapter!

FIVE YEARS AGO (March 14th, 2012):

Felicity woke up the next morning around eleven. It was the weekend, and hopefully Victor wouldn't involve her in any Bratva business. She laid in bed a while longer before she got up, showered, and dressed, and then made her way downstairs around one o'clock. Her wrist was no longer hurting as much, but she bandaged it in the ace bandage again, this time doing a much better job after watching Oliver do it twice. She walked into the kitchen, where she noticed Raisa had made french toast for breakfast and had left it on the island. She grabbed a plate, put one slice on it and drizzled it in syrup. As she was about to take a bite, Oliver walked into the door.

"Good morning," she said.

"More like good afternoon," he replied with a smirk. Felicity let out a small laugh before returning to her french toast. Oliver walked across the room and made his way to the fridge. He pulled out a bottle of water, before sitting down next to her. It became apparent to Felicity that he had been working out from the gleam of sweat on his skin that looked incredibly handsome. How the hell did he make sweating look handsome?

"Sleep well?" he asked, and she nodded in response, for she was still chewing her french toast. They sat there in a comfortable silence until Victor entered the room, followed by Donna.

"Oliver, I am so sorry we weren't able to make it last night. Business didn't go... as well as expected. We still have a goddamn snitch in our ranks, ratting out every single deal we've made with the triad, and they've busted ten of our men in the last month. Last night was no exception," gritted out Victor. He then turned to Felicity and spoke, well commanded her really, "we need you to monitor all tips the SCPD database gets in. Our men don't have the time to do it." He stated firmly, and when she opened her mouth to protest, Donna simply glared at her. She figured it was better not to make a scene, so she simply nodded her head while mentally stabbing Victor with her fork.

"Actually Victor," began Oliver, "if it's alright with Felicity, I was wondering if she could show me around the grounds. I'm still quite lost in this mansion, and I very much enjoyed her company last night. I also need some help with tech to set up a private email connection with my associates in Russia."

"Of course Oliver!" Victor exclaimed. Kiss-ass, thought Felicity. "I'll leave you two to it then," said Victor as him and Donna left, her mother giving her a look that basically implied that she was not to screw it up. Victor and Donna had been talking about Oliver Queen for months before his arrival. They were all excited about the new Junior Captain, and his presence in the Starling Bratva was incredibly important for Victor. With Oliver Queen as his junior, Victor could expand the Bratva, and run one of the most powerful branches the Bratva had.

Felicity was nervous to be alone with Oliver. While last night was quite nice actually, she still didn't know anything about him. What could his play be? Everyone in the Bratva had a motive, something she detested greatly. She was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt for now, but she would have to tread carefully. And she really needed to stop thinking about him shirtless, because well, it was hard to concentrate when she was thinking about him shirtless. 

"How's your wrist?" said Oliver, as he broke her out of his thoughts.

"Better, I probably didn't even need to wrap it, but better safe than sorry." She replied, before taking one last bite of her french toast. She got up from the island and took her plate to the sink to wash it. After she was done she sat back down, and looked at him, noticing he had been staring the entire time. He needed to stop staring at her, it just wasn't fair. 

"I'm glad," he said before moving to get up, and moving to stand in front of her. 

"So, what would you like to see first?" she asked.

He smiled down at her for a moment before responding, "I'm don't get lost in this house Felicity, I just thought I'd get you out of doing work on a Saturday. I figured you could use a day off to rest." 

"Oh," said Felicity dumbly, "thank you for that, truly. God knows I really didn't want to have to hack that damn server again. I mean it's pretty clear that all their tips are coming in through the mail, so there's no way I'll even be able to find it, and even if I was able to find it, it doesn't mean that I-" she paused in the middle of her babble, looking up at him again, to see the smile on his lips had only grown, "but anyway, thank you Oliver," she finished.

"Anytime Felicity. I'll see you around." He gave her one last smile before abruptly turning and making his way towards his living quarters. Felicity stood there dumbfounded. Why would he do that for her? If he was as loyal to Victor as he seemed, he wouldn't have lied to him straight to his face. Maybe he wasn't as bad as he seemed, but still Felicity knew she couldn't trust him. For seventeen years, one important thing had been ingrained in her head "don't trust anyone."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day was her birthday. Felicity didn't expect much, and for most of the day, she only received small acknowledgments from the staff. Her mother seemed to have forgotten, and Victor left a note on her night stand asking her to hack into a different mainframe, to find out when his least favorite drug supplier (and competitor) would be making a shipment into Starling. It also said that now that she was an official member of the Bratva since she had just turned eighteen, she could be involved in even more advanced and complicated operations. 

She spent most of the day working on Victor's assignment, and later she worked out. After an hour on the treadmill, her wrist still too sore to train, she walked into the kitchen to have dinner. Most days Donna and Victor were out attending to Bratva matters, and she ate meals alone in the kitchen. Sometimes John would join her, but he was out today on assignment. He still left her a card with a thoughtful gift (new boxing gloves). She opened up the fridge and pulled out one of the frozen meals, before placing it in the microwave and sitting down in one of the seats that surrounded the island. 

Oliver entered the room, her gaze immediately drawn to his. "Happy Birthday Felicity," he said cooly, before moving to sit down next to her. How did he know it was her birthday, she asked herself. How did he know, when even her own mother had forgotten? 

"Thank you." She replied as the microwave beeped, causing her to move and get her meal from it. She took it out, placed it on the table, and grabbed a fork before sitting back down in her seat. 

"What did you do for your birthday, Felicity?" asked Oliver. What was up with him using her name after each time he talked to her? Every time he said her name her insides swirled, an increasingly common thing that was happening in his presence. She needed to get it under control. She blamed it on being sexually repressed for eighteen years. After all the only kiss she ever had was when she was thirteen, and it was during a game of spin the bottle, so it didn't really count. 

"Oh, nothing much. Just hacked a few things for Victor. First day on the job I guess," she joked, although the way he was looking at her let her knew he saw right through the joke.

"You didn't celebrate for your birthday?" He asked astonished. 

"It's been a busy day, and Victor and Donna are off on Bratva business, John is out on assignment, and given that I haven't been in school since I was fourteen, I didn't really have any friends to celebrate with - but it's okay, I don't think birthdays are that big of a deal anyway." She stated, trying to sound as nonchalant as she could.

"Come on," said Oliver before gently tugging her up of the table and guiding her out of the kitchen. He guided her to the foyer, without saying a word before leading them outside. They made their way to the Ducati, before he turned around to look at her. "Let me take you out for dinner. Everyone deserves to do something somewhat fun on their birthday. Hell, I might even let you have a sip of my wine," he said with a wink, before moving to pick up her helmet off the bike.

Felicity smiled dumbly at him while nodding, not knowing what to say. She was in awe. Oliver had shown her more care and concern than her own family members in the span of two days, and even though it went against everything in her, she was starting to trust him more. She figured that maybe her mini-crush, which was starting to become not so mini wasn't so bad after all. And since it was her birthday, she'd let herself have this one day with him.

He secured the helmet on her head again, giving her a smile as he secured it. He then placed his own on, and she followed suit. She straddled the motorcycle after he had gotten on, and wrapped her arms around him. In a moment, they were taking off, and were driving throughout the city.

About thirty minutes later, Oliver slowed the Ducati down and pulled into a parking lot. He parked the bike, and led them to the entrance of a small building. He opened the door for them and led them inside. It was a small place Italian place, and the hostess led them to their table.

The waitress gave them their menus before leaving them. "Thank you Oliver, for all of this, it was really so kind of you," said Felicity quietly, not trusting her voice.

"It's my pleasure Felicity. Besides, I had a great time with you at dinner two nights ago," he replied, before turning his attention to the menu.

The waitress soon came by, and they each ordered. After the waitress left, he spoke, "How do you normally celebrate your birthdays?"

"Oh you know, this and that really, sometimes I'll, " she began, but as she looked at him she could tell he wasn't buying her story, "I usually don't do much. My mom is bad with remembering things like birthdays, and I'm not exactly Victor's favorite, but John and I always do something nice together, except he was out today."

"I'm sorry about that," he said honestly, "everyone deserves to have their birthday celebrated."

"It's okay really. I actually don't put much stalk in birthdays. I don't like knowing that I'm getting older. I already feel so old, I mean I'm eighteen now, that's practically thirty," Felicity paused as she realized she was about to insult his age since he was twenty-eight himself, "not that thirty is old or anything. I mean thirty is still young, very young, and -"

"It's okay Felicity," said Oliver, not in the least bit offended, "I think I'm getting old too fast too. Time just flies by." He said smiling, and Felicity smiled in return. The waiter came with their food, and they once again made idle chit chat. When they were done with the main course, and their plates had been cleared, several waiters walked up to her table with a cake. The waiters and Oliver began singing "Happy Birthday" to her, and Felicity's eyes teared up. It had been the first time in years someone had sang her that song, and now a whole restaurant was singing it to her. When they finished, she blew out the candle, and they clapped. 

"Thank you for this. Really Oliver, you didn't have to, especially since you barely know me and all, so thank you," she said before taking a bite of the cake.

"You never have to thank me Felicity." He replied, his voice soft but firm at the same time. She smiled at him and they ate the cake together, talking to each other about whatever came up. She told him about her fear of kangaroos, and he told her about his fear of chickens. They had laughed and smiled and it had all been... real. Something neither of them were used to in the Bratva. This wasn't someone buttering them up for business deal, this was two people truly enjoying themselves at dinner. It was the best night both of them had had in awhile. After another twenty minutes or so they left. Within the hour they were back home, and Oliver was walking her up to her room.

"Goodnight Felicity, and Happy Birthday," he murmured before dropping a hand to her shoulder, and letting it still there for a moment.

"Goodnight Oliver." She replied, before lifting herself up on her toes to press a kiss to his cheek. She didn't know what made her do it, and even if he was evil or working for Victor or whatever, he had been a true gentleman tonight, and he had made her day. He quirked an eyebrow in surprise, but a smile played on his lips to let her know that he appreciated the action. She then turned around and opened the door to her room, shutting it behind her before leaning on the door. 

She shouldn't be feeling this way really, but she couldn't help herself. Yes, he was older, but there was a connection between them, and she knew he felt it too. And yes, he was in the Bratva, but so was her father, and he was a good man, so just how bad of a man could Oliver be? She decided not to overthink it, and instead changed out of her clothes and went to bed. Her mind replaying the moments of that night, and she couldn't help but smile.

Oliver left her room feeling something he had never felt before. He was happy. Truly happy. That night had done something to him, and when she kissed his cheek he swore he saw stars. He knew he shouldn't start to feel this way about her, after all he had a job to do. He came to Starling City for a reason, and he wasn't supposed to be falling for someone right now, especially not Felicity. He had a promise to keep. Felicity had no idea the kind of home she was living in, no idea the type of people Victor Petrov and Donna Smoak were. She could never find out about it, he had promised Anatoly that, and he knew that if she ever found out it would destroy her. Still, despite all the obstacles in their way, he couldn't help but smile to himself as he thought of the adorable babbling blonde on the way back to his living quarters. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For the next few weeks, Felicity didn't see a great deal of Oliver, but whenever she did it was always pleasant. She spent the better part of the past two weeks working on new Bratva things, and training with John Diggle. Her wrist had healed fully, and she was for the most part, happier. While she hated the Bratva, and wanted nothing more to be done with it, she had recently grown more tolerant of it. She still wanted out, and she knew that when she was stronger, both physically or mentally, she would try to get out of it, but for now, she was content. Victor was going crazy trying to find the snitch, and he was out of the house more often than not. She rarely saw Donna, which would normally make a child sad, but with the way her mother had been treating her lately, she was glad she was out of the house.

Oliver had done his absolute best to avoid her. He couldn't reconcile the two sides of himself. He had a promise to keep, and he knew he had to follow through on it. He wanted nothing more than to tell her the truth about everything, but it would be selfish of him to do that. Besides, it would risk his entire operation, and he couldn't have that, there were bigger things at stake.

He walked down the steps to the gym, where he noticed Felicity had been training, alone it seemed. She was once again on the punching bag, this time doing a much more careful job of making sure not to jam her wrist. She went through a couple different combinations before the stop bell sounded and she looked up to see him staring at her. She looked gorgeous in a pair of dark blue shorts which were very short, and the small white tank top that was hiding very little. She blushed a little when he saw her, before her own eyes looked him up and down. It was no secret to Oliver that Felicity found him attractive. He had caught her staring at him, multiple times, and it boosted his ego every single time she did. He knew he should probably leave her, go upstairs, and take a cold shower, but he couldn't help himself. He was drawn to the babbling blond, and he didn't want to walk away. It had been two weeks since they had really talked, and he wanted to talk to her again. He wanted to see her smile again, and even though he knew the consequences were severe, he really couldn't seem to care.

"Hi Felicity," he said, looking down at her. She really was quite short, and petite, and cute. God she was so cute. And he should stop having these types of thoughts. Never mind the fact she could ruin everything, including herself, she was ten years younger than him, something he had to keep reminding himself of. It didn't help that she looked older than she was, or the fact that her maturity and spunk made her wise beyond her years. Fuck, how was he this gone already? 

"Hi Oliver, I was just finishing so you can have the bags and the whole gym really. I mean I doubt you'd need the whole gym at once because it'd be pretty hard to workout on every single thing at once, although you are pretty muscular - not that I know that because I like, look at your muscles, I just assumed you are because, well you're in the Bratva, and most people in the Bratva are and -" Felicity couldn't seem to find a stopping point, so she just shut her mouth and smiled, as Oliver grinned at her. She really was so goddamn cute.

"I haven't yet figured out how to workout on every single machine in the gym yet, but I'm working on it," he quipped with a wink, saving her some embarrassment from her babble. She let out a small laugh before she turned to leave. He really should've let her leave, but he didn't want her to. He touched her elbow as she started to walk away and she froze. "No need to leave on my account, I can train with you, if you'd like," he said, even though that was not a good idea. He did not need her pressed against his body as he taught her self-defense tactics, and he was sure he would not be able to control himself. 

"Oh, that's okay, I'm actually pretty beat, but maybe another time," she replied before grabbing leaving once again. She actually was tired, but she was pretty sure that being in the same room with a shirtless, sweaty Oliver, as he taught her self defense would cause her to spontaneously combust.

Oliver turned to the punching bag as he left, training for the better part of two hours. He knew he should stay away, but he hadn't felt this way in ages, and damn it, he didn't want to let go of this feeling. It was a risk, yes, but Oliver was good at taking risks. It couldn't be so bad if he let himself get to know her a little better, after all she may not even be interested in him that way. Maybe she thought of him as a brother figure, or friend, and getting to know her wouldn't be so dangerous. He knew he would never be able to tell her, never be able to let her in all the way. But what if he let her in just a little bit? Could that be so bad?

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
FIVE YEARS LATER (March 1st, 2017):

Oliver and Felicity had been in the car for hours now. They had ditched their cellphones, and had switched cars on their way, now about six hours out of the city. Felicity had no idea where they were going, or what they were doing. She was angry. Really fucking angry. This stupid bastard Oliver Queen, the one who had shot her mother, who had broken her heart and lied to her every single day that he had known her was driving her around and "saving" her. She didn't need saving. She wanted the goddamn truth. And his half-assed promises about "finding out the truth" didn't mean shit to her. 

Oliver had lied to her once again. He had to lie, he had no other choice. He knew why Victor wanted her dead four years ago. It was his fault again as well.  
....  
(Four Years Ago, Two Days Before "The Event")

Victor had found about Donna, when he had left his laptop unlocked. He never left his laptop unlocked, but that day he wanted to spend the early hours of his morning with Felicity, so after checking his emails he had left the room quickly. An hour later he had returned from his make out session with her, when he found Victor eyeing the files on his computer.

"How the FUCK did you not tell me about this? growled Victor.

"I had just found about it myself. I was planning on telling you about it later this morning," lied Oliver smoothly, keeping his cool.

Victor stilled, his anger seemed to lessen as he spoke again, "So, Donna is not her real mother. I always suspected. She hated her too much to be a mother to that girl."

"Yes. Anatoly had an affair with a maid years ago. When the maid got pregnant, Anatoly didn't want to cause a scandal that could cost him his position, so he begged Donna to pretend to be pregnant. Donna did as she was asked, but she always hated Felicity for it," replied Oliver, not bothering to lie about the details. If Victor had seen the files then he knew the truth, and Oliver wouldn't help anyone by lying right to his face. 

"Who gave you this information Oliver?" asked Victor.

"I don't know. But I will try and find out," lied Oliver.

Victor simply nodded and walked out. Oliver didn't know if he bought his lie or not, but he knew he had to move up his plans. He had very little time left, and more importantly, he had to get Felicity to safety. Victor probably would want her dead, knowing she was an illegitimate child, and that this secret could ruin him and Donna. 

.Two days later, Oliver had to shoot Donna Smoak. He didn't want to, but he had no choice. It was Donna or Felicity, and he would always choose Felicity. Of course, after that had happened, Felicity refused to speak to him when Victor had told her that Oliver simply had performed a hit he had ordered. Victor covered for Oliver because he too couldn't allow her to know the truth, however his reasons were for his own personal gains. Felicity then kicked him out of the mansion, out of her life, and she had every right to. 

...

Oliver didn't know back then that that was only the tip of the iceberg, that the reasons Victor and Donna wanted her dead were so much bigger than Felicity could possibly understand.He knew she hated him deeply, and he would never forgive himself for what he did to her. He didn't regret getting to know her though, she was the best thing to have happened to him in his thirty three years on earth. She was the love of his life, and he had broken her, broken them. The only thing he could do was keep her safe. He wanted to tell her, god, he wanted to tell her. But he had to keep his promise to Anatoly. Once all of this was over - if it was every over, once she was safe, he would tell her everything. He knew that even then, she wouldn't be deserving of his forgiveness, but he was going to save her, even if it only made her hate him even more.

As Oliver drove the car, he couldn't help but keep glancing at her. She still looked just as beautiful, if not more. Her hair had become a little blonder, and her frame had become much more muscular and strong. He wanted to hold her in his arms again, make her laugh, but that wasn't going to be happening anytime soon.

"Why the hell can't you tell me anything?" she asked angrily.

"I already told you why, Felicity, it's to keep you safe. I have never lied to you about your safety, and I am begging you to trust me." He replied, his tone soft, hoping she would be reasonable.

"I don't trust you one bit. I've seen how easily you lie. Lying is second nature to you. You told me I had know idea what had happened four years ago, but you also told me that you were just carrying out orders! What, did you shoot her in the shoulder instead of the chest? Is that what I don't know?" she cried out, tears pooling in her eyes as she yelled at him.

Oliver pulled the car over to the side of the road with a screeching halt. "Felicity I -" his voice gentle, not knowing what to say, "I wish I could tell you. Felicity I swear that if I could, I would tell you. But too much is at stake, and not just your life. If you just let me protect you, let me take care of you, all of this could be over in a few months. Please, Felicity." 

Felicity took one look at him before she let out a laugh. "Your promises don't mean anything to me. And by now we're at least six hours outside Starling, so I don't need the ride anymore. I hope the next time I see you it's at your funeral," she spat out as she quickly opened the doors and ran out. They were on some farm road, god knows where, and she started running down the road towards the street that was about a quarter mile ahead.

Oliver got out of the car, knowing that it most definitely was not safe outside of Starling, given that every single branch of Bratva of the world was looking for her. Victor's alert detailed that she had created a cyber-virus that was able to access every single Bratva IP in the world, and could lead to the potential take down of every single branch of Bratva. No place was safe for her. Victor had put a million dollar bounty on her head, and every single thug, Bratva or non-Bratva, was looking for her. At first Oliver thought that Victor would just hire hit men, like the message had stated six days ago, but this new alert and false propaganda showed Oliver just how desperate he was to have her killed. Felicity's existence put everything Victor ever had on the line. 

Oliver ran after her, before he was at her side again. He didn't do anything besides run at her pace. Eventually she slowed to a walk.

"You do realize, that when we get to the first sign of civilization in this town, I'm going to tell them you're stalking me?" she asked.

"Felicity, please don't be difficult. I don't want to force you to come with me, but if that's what it takes to keep you safe I will. You are not safe. Victor has alerted every single goddamn Bratva organization in the world. You are their number one target, and he has turned you into the ultimate traitor. I know that you are strong, and I know that you know how to fight, but you cannot take on six thousand armed men alone. Please," he begged, hoping, praying she would just get back in the goddamn car.

"Why do you even give a crap about what happens to me? If you ever really cared, you would've told me about Victor trying to put out a hit on my mother, and you wouldn't have fucking killed her. So, why all of the sudden do you care? Why weren't you there when I needed you? Is this some shot at redemption, because let me tell you, there is no chance in hell you will get it." She said, stopping her trek to look at him.

He sighed before turning to look at her and spoke, "Felicity, I was doing a job - my job. I didn't want to kill Donna, but Victor told me she was a threat, and it was my job, I was his Junior Captain after all. Felicity I know that it's not an excuse, but I just don't have one. And if you're asking me I care, why I'm here, I think you know that answer. I love you, Felicity, and I know you don't feel the same, but I won't stop trying to save you." His eyes bore into her, and she stood there silent. She was so full of anger and hatred, and it was all his fault. He spoke again, even more quietly then before, "I'm not doing this as a shot at redemption. I'm doing this to help you."

Felicity looked at him, and was just confused. She didn't know what to think, or what to make out of the situation. It was obvious that her life was in danger, serious danger, and she knew, deep-down that he wouldn't hurt her. But how could she betray her mother like this? How could she spend time with the man who had killed her? Donna Smoak had never been kind to Felicity, and had always treated her with contempt, but she was still her mother. And Oliver's reasons for carrying out the hit were even worse. He did it because "Victor said so", and him choosing Victor over her, broke her heart. She didn't even have it in her to yell at him anymore, she was so angry, but she was so tired of being angry. It exhausted her. Her quest for revenge over the past four years had drained her. And yes, logically, she knew she was taking out all of her frustrations of the Bratva on Oliver, which is probably why she had planned his murder - in great detail, but she had legitimate reasons to be angry with him, to not speak with him, to want him dead. She wished she was able to read him, but she couldn't and she had no idea what to do.

"I don't know how to trust you, how to let you help me. God, you killed my mom! You lied to me over and over again, and never even told me the truth! How am I supposed to let you help me? I'd be betraying my mother by doing that," she said sadly, not even able to look him in the eye.

"Felicity, we don't have to talk or look at each other or even acknowledge each other. Please just let me help you. I know how to hide, how to live on the run, and I can keep you safe until this is all over. After that, you can leave or kill me for all I care. Hell, I'll hand you the gun if that's what you want. But please, just trust that I will keep you safe," he begged. Felicity looked at him. He had just offered to let her kill him, and he didn't seem like he was lying about that. In her state of anger and revenge, she had wanted to kill him, but she knew deep down she would never be able to. She wasn't a killer - not in the slightest, and the thought of killing him, well, that was something she couldn't do. She decided to trust him on this thing, given that she had virtually no other option.

Reluctantly she shook her head, indicating yes, and walked back to the car. He walked by her side and opened the door for her. She climbed in, and he walked around the other side, before climbing in himself. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Felicity had drifted off to sleep. She had no idea what time it was by the time she woke up, but it was dark outside. She looked at Oliver, his eyes were tired, and she didn't doubt that he had driven throughout the night. Even when they were together, Oliver never slept much. His nightmares or work would keep him from doing so. He had aged so much in the past four years. His face looked worn out, tired. He hadn't shaved in a few days, as he was sporting a healthy scruff, which of course still looked good. Of course he still looked good, the bastard couldn't have gotten fat or something. No, he had to look like that, and he had to say things like "I love you," which was just unfair. It was unfair because she had spent the better part of four years hating him and blaming him for everything, rightfully so. But in the course of a day he had managed to tug at the strings of her heart, and poke holes in all her theories as to why he did what he did. There was no way she could still have feelings for him - other than hate, right? This was ridiculous. He killed her mother. He had killed her mother! But why was he trying to keep her safe? Why was he risking his own life, his position as Bratva Captain of Central City which he had worked to hard to get (i.e killing her mother), if he didn't have some ulterior motive! It reminded her of five years ago, when she had first met him, when every day her mind battled for whether he was good or bad, whether he could be trusted or not. 

She chose wrong five years ago, she couldn't be stupid enough to choose wrong again. 

She closed her eyes again, but sleep didn't come. She was too wound up, and she knew that Oliver was tired. She knew she shouldn't show him any kindness, but really she was ensuring her own safety, because accidents increased with tired drivers. She looked at him as she spoke, "Let me drive for a while. I promise not to ram your side into a bus or something."

"It's fine Felicity, you need your strength. There is a B&B a few miles down the road from there that will be safe enough for us. We will probably need to steal another car after that, and get some burner phones in case of an emergency. Also, I'm low on firepower, I only got a few guns, and I have even less ammunition. We'll probably be safe here for a few days, while we restock on everything," said Oliver, his voice unusually quiet, and it was throwing her off.

"Okay," she replied.

"Okay."

When they arrived at the B&B, Felicity used the restroom downstairs as Oliver got them their rooms. She didn't have any bags, but Oliver had a few. Oliver led her to her room before using the key to open it. He dropped all the bags inside and began to take off his watch.

"What the hell are you doing?" she asked incredulously, wondering why the hell he was taking off his watch in her room.

"Taking off my watch, Felicity" replied Oliver, sounding exasperated. 

"Let me rephrase that, why the hell are you taking off your watch in my room?" she asked, sounding even more annoyed as if she already knew the answer. 

"Felicity, they only had one room available, and there are two beds. And more importantly, I'm not letting you out of my sight. I will be a perfect gentleman, but I don't have the energy to argue with you, so would you please just -"

"Fine," interrupted Felicity, not wanting to argue with him either. She knew he wasn't going to let him out of her sight for whatever reason, and all his actions today had demonstrated that. He resumed taking off his watch before sitting down on one of the beds, letting out a sigh.

"You can take the first shower, and since you probably don't have any clothes, you can sleep in one of my extra shirts," he padded over to his bag before grabbing one of his large grey shirts. She remembered how years ago she used to steal them and wear them every night to sleep. It felt like a lifetime ago, however. 

She accepted the shirt, and took it into her hand before moving to the bathroom. She stripped and showered, going through the motions relatively quickly. It had been a long day. She stepped out of the shower and dried herself off. She put on his shirt, which dwarfed her small frame, hanging only a few inches above the knee. She padded out of the bathroom, taking her clothes in hand and placing them on one of the counters. Oliver sat on the bed, hunched over, hands cupping his own face. He looked so tired, so defeated, and despite herself, Felicity couldn't help but feel a slight pang in her heart for him. 

"The shower's ready," she said, announcing her presence in the room, although she was sure that with his ninja-like reflexes he had already known she was there. He looked at her in his grey shirt, his Adam's apple bobbing slightly before nodding his head, and getting off the bed. He made his way to the bathroom without looking at her again. 

She laid down on her bed closing her eyes. She couldn't be bothered to get under the covers or adjust the pillows more comfortably. Within a few minutes, despite the uncomfortable position, she had fallen asleep.

Oliver didn't waste much time in the shower, before exiting the bathroom in just a pair of grey sweatpants. He was tired, no tired didn't cover it. The level of exhaustion that he had felt over the past few days ever since he had found out about the threat placed on her life was unparalleled to anything he had ever felt before. Well, not anything, the days after he shot Felicity's mother and she had kicked him out of her life and the city were also pretty rough. He looked over at her. She had curled herself in a ball, on top of the covers. He smiled to himself, because although almost everything had changed between them, she still fell asleep on top of the covers curled in a ball. He walked over to her bed, pulling back the covers on one side, before picking her up and placing her under them. She murmured something in his arms when he held her, and his heart ached so deeply for the days when he was able to hold her. He missed her so much. Every goddamn day. 

He took one last look at her before resigning to his own bed and laying down. For some reason, sleep came to him easily, despite all the worry and stress on his mind. 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh so what did you think?? Did you see that coming? Hopefully not lol! Comments and reviews are literally the best, and much appreciated!!


	3. The Dark Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FIVE YEARS AGO:  
> Felicity sees a darker side to Oliver, and is taken aback. Her and Donna get into a fight, and once again John Diggle is the best man on the planet. And other things as well!
> 
> FIVE YEARS LATER (NOW):  
> Oliver and Felicity take to the road to coast city, and tensions rise. Lots of good moments between them, and a little more insight as to what Oliver's many many secrets are!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI GUYS IM BACK ALREADY! This chapter is literally almost 9k, and instead of studying the French Revolution, I've literally just been writing. Oh well, anyway, I HOPE YOU LIKE IT! We introduce a few more characters in this chapter, all of whom I hope you like!

FIVE YEARS AGO (April 3rd, 2012):

 

Felicity hated doing Bratva business. There was entire wing of the mansion dedicated to it. It had conference rooms, storage bunkers (where they held guns, drugs,etc.), and “interrogation” rooms, although Felicity knew that interrogation was just a fancy word for torture. The Bratva was evil, plain and simple. She hated when she was forced to attend meetings in the “Bratva” wing of the mansion, it made everything seem that much more official, like she actually was a part of the Bratva.

Victor had left her a message telling her to report to the wing as soon as she woke up. She made her way slowly, dreading every moment she would be forced to spend there. It didn’t help that all the men Victor worked with were sexist pigs who were constantly doubting her abilities and hitting on her. She entered the wing slowly, not knowing where Victor wanted her to meet. She followed the voices she heard, presumably Victor’s, down the hall. It was an interrogation room. Felicity really did not want to see this. She was under no illusion as to what went on in those rooms, but seeing what Victor was probably doing to whomever was in there and not being able to stop it, would make her feel even more helpless than she already did. But then, she heard a voice, a voice she knew all too well.

“Tell me what I want to know before I rearrange what your face looks like, “ shouted Oliver, before she heard a strangled scream. No, no, no, no, no. Oliver couldn’t be the one doing this, he was supposed to be different. He was unlike any other man in the Bratva she had met so far, he was… human. But this, this was the furthest thing from it. Not being able to help herself she opened the door to the room, where she saw a man hanging from the ceiling, attached by two chains. He was shirtless, his chest sporting many cuts and wounds that looked fresh. In front of him stood Oliver, whose knuckles were red from punching, and he held electric wires in his other hand, which she presumed he was using to shock the victim. Victor stood off to the side, watching the whole event transpire, as if it gave him pleasure. Oliver turned slowly, shocked to have seen her here. 

Before he could speak, Victor did, “Felicity, finally you’re here. This man left us a laptop, and you need to decrypt it. He won’t give us the password, despite Oliver’s best efforts. Once you break into it, let me know. Don’t take more than a few days on it, this information is crucial.”

Felicity couldn’t believe her own eyes, she didn’t even know what to say. Oliver had tortured this man to the point where he no longer looked like a man. She took the laptop from Victor, hoping that it would end the cruel and heartless torture being carried out on the man. She then spun around and left, hoping that they would let the poor man go, but she knew better. As she walked out the wing, she heard a gunshot go off.

What the hell had she been thinking? Oliver was ruthless, he had tortured that man, and then shot him. No matter how nice he had been, how much kindness he had showed her, he was still Bratva. And being in the Bratva meant torture and murder. She had to keep her distance from this man, there was no way the good could possibly outweigh the bad, right?

By the time Felicity had returned to the main wing of the house, Oliver had caught up with her. She didn’t hear him until he spoke, “Felicity,” he said softly. She turned to look at him, hoping that she would be able to get out of there quickly. “I’m sorry for what you had to see in there. I didn’t know Victor was going to have you come in.” 

“Did you kill him?” she asked, not caring about whatever he had to say. Nothing could justify this.

“Yes,” he responded gravely, the guilt evident on his face. 

“I should go and… you - you should stay away from me,” she said quietly before moving away from him. 

Oliver watched her go, debating whether or not to run after her, but figured it was best to give her some time. Oliver hated doing this, he detested it more than anything, but he had to prove his loyalty to Victor. He couldn’t have Victor suspecting anything, and if it meant doing this, he knew he had to. He had a promise to fulfill. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few days later, Felicity was called to the Bratva conference room. She dreaded the meeting, but once again, she had no choice (story of her life). She was going to talk to Donna about this later. She couldn't keep working for an organization that tortured people and then murdered them. Enough was enough. Her mother had never taken her side before, but Felicity hoped that maybe this one time she would. 

She opened the door to the room and saw Oliver, Victor, Vladimir, Nikolai, and a new face, although he looked like the rest of them (a white male). “What a diverse group of people,” muttered Felicity to herself. She avoided Oliver’s gaze, although she knew he was staring intently at her. 

“Felicity,” spoke Victor, “I’d like you to meet Alexei, he just transferred in from Russia. He will be leading the search for the snitch. I want you to brief him on everything you’ve found out so far.”

“Okay,” replied Felicity, before moving to shake Alexei’s hand as he extended it towards her.

“It’s nice to meet you Felicity, I hope my asking for your help doesn’t intrude too much in your day,” said Alexei as he smiled.

“Oh nonsense Alexei,” said Victor, not allowing Felicity a chance to speak, “Felicity has nothing better to do, and besides, she is an official member of the Bratva now.”

Felicity shot Victor a look that effectively said ‘go to hell’ before speaking to Alexei, “Not a problem, I’ll go get my laptop and I’ll fill you in, although there really isn’t much I can tell you. All the tips have been mailed in, and they are always sent days in advance, weeks sometimes. It started about three months ago, and we still have no clue who’s sending the tips in. I’m not even sure they’re being mailed in, because there is no stamp or address, just a envelope that says ‘SCPD’ on it. They might even be hand delivered.” As she spoke she could feel Oliver staring , in fact, she wasn’t sure he had taken his eyes off her since she walked in. She couldn’t look at him though, that would just make things harder. 

“That’s all very helpful, Felicity. If you wouldn’t mind showing me the SCPD database on your laptop at a later time, I’d appreciate that very much, “ he replied. Once again, Victor spoke before she had the chance. She really wanted to punch him in his stupid face every time he did that. 

“Felicity can do it right now. Why don’t you go with her to retrieve her laptop, and she’ll show you everything she knows. I don’t want to delay this any further, “ said Victor sternly. Felicity was angry, really fucking angry. First, she had to see a man get tortured, then hear him get murdered, and now she was supposed to help catch a snitch that she didn’t want caught! She wanted the Bratva to burn, and with that knowledge, she decided she would try to throw Alexei off track. He was young, for the Bratva, no more than twenty-five, clearly eager to prove something to Victor. Felicity could easily misguide him, given that he’d have no idea what she would be doing, and throw him off-course. 

“Shall we?” asked Alexei, gesturing his hand towards the door. Felicity nodded in response, before throwing Oliver one look. His eyes were stormy and blue, a look she couldn’t quite decipher. 

She walked out, with Alexei following her, unable to shake Oliver’s intense gaze. What did he even want?

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After about an hour of showing Alexei things, only giving him half-truths to make his job harder (not that she had anything against him, but she didn’t want to be helping out), she showed up at Donna’s study. Donna was a negotiator, she was cut throat, and always managed to work things out in her favor. Felicity braced herself before opening Donna’s door. 

“Hi,” spoke Felicity, “can I talk to you about something?” she asked.

“I really don’t have a lot of time for this Felicity, the world doesn’t revolve around you,” replied her mother coldly.

“I know, I just, I don’t think I can do this anymore - be in the Bratva anymore. I know that no one leaves the Bratva, and that it’s family, but I - “

“You what, Felicity?” interrupted Donna.

“I don’t want to aid in torturing and murdering people! I don’t want to help you smuggle in drugs, or marry some Bratva thug five years from now. I want my own life, away from all of this, please, mom, I’m begging you. Dad wouldn’t want this for me,” said Felicity, trying to keep her voice steady.

“You are so selfish. Unbelievably selfish. Your father died for you, and this is how you repay him? By turning your back? I am ashamed to call you my daughter,” said Donna, her voice spiteful.

“Mom, I - I’m sorry. I just I don’t, I don’t think I can do this. Please don’t make me do this, “ begged Felicity, tears rolling out of her eyes. 

Donna stood up and walked towards her, before slapping her hardly on the face. Felicity flinched, her hand flying to touch the place that was slapped. “Never ask me about this again. We all have to make sacrifices, do things we don’t like, but that’s the way it is. Your life is not so bad. You live in a mansion, have access to everything you’ve ever wanted, and you’re complaining because I ask you to perform a few small tasks. Stop trying to make a martyr out of yourself, it doesn’t become you. Now get out of my study,” said Donna. 

Felicity walked away, unable to control her tears. She made her way to the gardens, when John saw her. 

“Felicity, are you okay?” called out John.

“Yeah,” said Felicity shakily, as she moved to sit on the bench in front of the fountain.

“Felicity, whatever it is, you can talk to me,” said John, before moving to sit down next to her.

“I talked to Donna. I tried to tell her how I felt about this, how much I hated it and, ” she paused as she wiped a tear from her cheek, “and she slapped me. Told me how selfish I was. I guess I just expected some support, I mean she’s my mother! I don’t know why I even expected anything, it’s not like she’s ever done anything before. Sometimes I feel like she doesn’t even love me, like she wishes I wasn’t here”

“Oh Felicity,” said John, as he put an arm around her shoulder, “I am so sorry. But you have to know how loved you are. I love you, your mother loves you, even if she doesn’t show it, the entire staff loves you, and we all support you. I know you hate this life, but I promise you it will get better. Besides, Victor will leave in two months, and then it won’t be so bad.”

Felicity looked up at John, he always knew how to cheer her up. His phone beeped and he looked at it. “I’m so sorry Felicity, but it’s Lyla, I have to go,” said John, before she nodded and smiled as he left. Felicity sat there, feeling somewhat better. Even if everything else sucked, she would always have John. 

She sat there, looking at the fountain, before a large figure came in sight. She knew who it was, but she didn’t want to look at him, didn’t want to deal with him.

“Are you okay?” asked Oliver, his voice full of concern.

“Fine,” avoiding his eyes, as she got up, ready to walk away.

“Felicity - talk to me. Whatever is going on, I can help,” he said, standing in front of her, blocking her from moving.

“I don’t want to talk. I just want to go, so could you please just move,” she said, her eyes still avoiding his own.

“Felicity, whatever happened, I’m sorry,” he said, although he was pretty sure saying ‘I’m sorry’ wouldn’t fix it.

“Are you sorry you killed that man? Sorry that you tortured him?” she asked, finally moving her eyes up to his own. 

“Yes. I am sorry that it all had to happen that way. I don’t enjoy it Felicity, but I follow orders. He wasn’t a good man, and he was a threat. He worked for a gang out in the glades that had put out hits on a few of our members, and - “ he began, before she interrupted him.

“I know who he is. I decrypted his laptop. And if you had just given it to me in the beginning, you could’ve avoided torturing and killing him,” said Felicity.

“That’s not the way the Bratva goes about business, Felicity. They have to make it known to their enemies that they will kill if one of their own is attacked. I don’t like doing what I do, but I’m a Junior Captain. It’s my job,” he said, his expression grim. It was clear to Felicity he hated it, but she couldn't seem to care.

“Whatever, Oliver. I should’ve expected it. Everyone in the Bratva is the same, and I should’ve known better, “ she said bitterly, before shoving past him and walking away.

Once again, Oliver watched her go. He didn’t want her to think so low of him, he wanted to explain himself, tell her everything. He decided to give her some time, but he promised himself he would talk to her later. It was clear that she was upset about something else, and he wanted to comfort her, hold her and tell her everything would be alright.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Felicity didn’t show up for dinner, Oliver decided he would go up to her room. He carried up a tray with the dinner. Oliver knocked on her door, and after a minute Felicity answered it.  
“Hi,’ he said, a smile on his face. She was in a pair of short shorts, and white t-shirt that was very see through. Oliver did his best not to stare too long, but he couldn’t help it.

“Hi,” she said, her voice soft.

“I came to bring you dinner,” he said, holding the tray out, “and to talk. Can we please talk?” he asked.

Felicity held the door open wide, allowing him to come in. He walked in, taking in her room. It was a large room, with a bed right under the windows. There was a couch, a large vanity, a desk, and several other small pieces of furniture. There was TV on the wall opposing her bed, where a movie was playing on it. On the third wall there were two doors, to a bathroom and a walk in closet, he presumed. 

He handed the tray to her, and she set it down on her nightstand, before turning again to face him. 

“Felicity, about what you saw me doing earlier. I’m sorry you had to see that. It’s not something I enjoy doing, but it’s my job. And I know - I know that it doesn’t make it okay, but please just hear me out, ” he asked. Felicity nodded in return, knowing that if she turned him down again, he would probably just show up later.

“After my five years away, I wasn’t sure how to return to society. For five years, I had to do everything under the sun to survive. I had to kill people and torture them, and out there, it was my life or theirs. But then, I arrived in Russia, and I met your father. He took me in under his wing, and saved my life. I wasn’t ready to return back to Starling at that point, I didn’t want my family to see me as this - this monster, so I stayed. Once he had taught me how to reconcile these parts of myself, I was able to return, but I still didn’t… belong. I went back to Russia, doing everything I could to move up the Bratva ranks. The Bratva was my home, and they had taught me how to survive. And now that I’m back in Starling, I can’t turn my back on the Bratva. They saved me, and I - I made a promise to someone. A promise I have to keep. The promise is a big part of the reason I went back to Russia, and a big reason I came back now. That guy in there, he tried to kill your family Felicity. You, Donna, and Victor, four months ago. This gang has been trying to take out your family for weeks. We had to send a message, to get them to stop coming after your family. It was the only way,” said Oliver. Felicity was looking up at him, her mouth slightly agape.

She had forgotten that he had practically been isolated on an island for years, and then stuck in the Bratva before he was able to return home. She forgot the type of toll it took on a person, and he was still a better person than almost anyone else in the Bratva. He had admitted so much to her, shared something that was obviously so painful, and even though it didn’t make what he did okay, it was clear that he was a good man. She looked up at him and threw her arms around him in a hug, not knowing what provoked her to do it, but he just looked like he needed a hug. He wrapped his arms around her tucking his face in her neck as he breathed into it. 

They stayed in each other's arms for at least a minute, before she pulled back. “Thank you for telling me that, I shouldn’t have been so quick to judge, “ she said before continuing, “if you want you can stay here and watch a movie with me, I’m watching ‘The Godfather.”

He smiled down at her before saying “Sure.” She climbed onto the bed, leaning back against the pillows. He stood there, unsure of what to do, or say. 

“Oliver,” she began.

“Yes?” 

“You can sit on the bed too, you know?” she said with a laugh. Oliver laughed in return, before moving to sit on the bed and lean against the pillows. He kicked off his shoes before bringing his legs up too. They sat there together, neither one of them saying anything, just enjoying each others company. After about an hour or so, Felicity began to drift off. Somehow during the movie they had shifted closer to each other, and they were practically touching each other’s sides at this moment. A minute later, Felicity’s head fell against his shoulder. Oliver dared not to breathe in case he woke her up, so he put his arm around her, allowing her to snuggle him. 

Once the movie had finished, Felicity was completely asleep, draped across Oliver. As Oliver looked down at her he couldn’t help but think how perfectly she fit against him, her small frame tucked against his large one. He wanted to wake up to this, wanted to kiss her and hold her and run away with her. He wanted to forget about his promise and walk away with her. But she was too young, she was eighteen for crying out loud! He had to stop thinking about her like this, stop being so drawn to her. 

She deserved better than this, better than him. She was so kind, and so strong, and he really just didn’t deserve her. He had to walk away now, before things got even harder. They were clearly both attracted to each other, and it was obvious they were both aware of it. They were also aware that it was becoming something, and he had to end it before it started so as not to hurt her. 

He managed to slip out of the room, shutting off the TV and the lights as he left. He would have to end it tomorrow, and he knew just how to do that. It would hurt her, and he would hate himself for it, but she would be better off. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day Felicity bounced downstairs to the kitchen. She saw Oliver there and smiled brightly at him. Something had shifted between them last night, and she was pretty sure she had fallen asleep on him. His admission last night, his honesty, it had all shocked her, and she was trusting him more and more with each day. 

“Hi,” she said.  
“Hi,” he said, before walking away, exiting the kitchen. He knew it was cold and detached, but that was the best way to go about it.

“Hey, wait, “ she called out after him. 

“Look Felicity, I really have to get going. I’m sorry,” he said, not looking her in the eye.

“Oh, okay, um I was just wondering if you wanted to do something tonight? We could watch a movie, or have dinner or - “

“No. I’m sorry Felicity, but you and me… whatever this is, it needs to stop. You’re amazing, and I won’t deny whatever has been going on between us, but it can’t keep going on. I’m not a good man, and you deserve better. You’re only eighteen, and I’m much too old for you. You were right to want to stay away from me, I’m no good for you,” he said, looking at her as the smile that she had before, was completely gone.

“Okay,” she said before walking away. How could she be such an idiot? He probably just said all that because he wasn’t even interested in her, and didn’t want to hurt herself. She couldn’t believe how stupid she was. 

Oliver watched her walk away. It was cold, what he did, but he knew it would only benefit her in the long run. He cared about her way too much to hurt her. Now, he just had to avoid her, and hopefully his feelings would fade away. But as he watched her go, watched the one person he had grown to feel more strongly about than anyone before, he figured that would not be the case.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FIVE YEARS LATER (March 2, 2017):

 

Felicity woke up to find herself tucked under the covers, and her head on a pillow. That was not how she remembered falling asleep, but she decided not to overthink it. She got out of bed, to find Oliver’s empty.

“Oliver?” she called out. No response. Felicity quickly walked into the bathroom, but he wasn’t there. She called his name several times. Where was he? What had happened to him? Logically, she knew that he had probably gone out for breakfast or something, but she couldn’t help but worry. After all the entire Bratva organization was looking for them.

She quickly put on her jeans, not bothering to change out of his shirt, before opening the door, hoping she would find his car in the parking lot. She had no way of communicating with him, given that they had no phones, and she had no clue where he could be. As she made her way down the hall, and turned the corner, she ran into a very strong, very tall man. The man held her still as she stumbled, and she looked up to find Oliver staring at her.  
It only took her a moment before she poked him hardly in the chest. “Where the hell were you? I woke up and you were just - gone. You can’t just leave like that! I thought you were dead or- or worse. At least leave a note or something, “ she said angrily. 

Instead of being annoyed that she yelled at him, Oliver simply smiled before speaking, “I’m sorry about that Felicity, I just went out to get supplies. Some of my associates contacted me this morning and told me that the Bratva knew the license plate of the car. I had to ditch it and find another one. I didn’t want to wake you, and I know you normally sleep in, so I figured I’d be back before you woke up.”

“Oh. Well, can you please leave a note next time?” she asked, suddenly realizing how close she was to him, before taking a small step back.

“Sure thing,” he said smiling. Why was he smiling? She really didn’t understand him at all.

“We need to get out of here, the Bratva knows that were around this area. I already packed our bags, you just need to grab your stuff.” he said, before following her as she turned around and walked to the door. 

They silently collected the last of their things before leaving. Oliver paid at the front desk, and they exited to their new car. Oliver opened the door for her, and then deposited their bags in the back. He went around the car, and climbed in. He then started the car, pulled out of the lot, and got back on the road.

Felicity had no idea where they were going, or what they were planning on doing, but she for some reason trusted Oliver would keep her safe.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a few hours on the road, Felicity realized she should probably call John. She knew that he would never turn his back on her, no matter what Victor would be saying about her, and he was definitely worried sick out of his mind. 

“I need to call John, can I have one of the burners?” she asked, breaking the silence they had had for several hours.

“Felicity, it’s risky. For all you know he could be siding with them -” he began,

“He isn’t. I know John Diggle. He is a good man, and he deserves to know that I’m alive and safe. The burners are untrackable, and it’s not like I’m going to tell him where I am,” she said, not backing down.

“Fine, there is a burner in the glove compartment, but please, be careful. If you suspect anything, hang up,” he said gravely, his voice laced with concern.

Felicity opened the glove compartment and took out the phone. She dialed John’s number, for she knew it by heart, and waiting for him to pick up. After about few rings, she heard his voice, “Hello?”

“John,” she said, breathing out a sigh of relief.

“Felicity? Are you okay? Where are you - actually don’t tell me, in case I’m tortured or something. The entire Bratva is looking for you. Victor has got hundreds of men looking for you based on a lie. You need to run,” said John, his worry was evident, and Felicity felt guilty for not calling him earlier.

“I’m okay John, I’m sorry I didn’t call earlier. I’m safe though now, and I’m with… Oliver,” she said hesitantly, knowing that John would not take the news lightly.

“Oliver? You’re with Oliver? Felicity that man is no good he -” began John,

“He saved my life John. I don’t trust him, and he won’t tell me anything, but he’s been keeping me safe, and I know he will do at least that. I promise you, if I had any other option I would. I would ask you, but you have a family, and I can’t put that at risk. This is my only choice,” she said quietly, hoping that Oliver wouldn’t hear. It was nothing he hadn’t already heard, but she felt bad every time she said something. She had no reason to feel bad for him, to show him any sympathy, but she couldn’t seem to stop feeling something for him.

“Okay, but if you need anything, and I mean anything you call me. And please, call me everyday or every other day to let me know you’re alive. I’ll be your eyes and ears for you, and I’ll try to find out as much as I can. I doubt they’ll let me know anything, because they know I was your guard, but still. Be safe, Felicity, and if you need me, I’m there,“ said John.

“Of course. Take care of yourself John, please don’t risk your life for mine. I’ll be safe, I promise,” she replied before hanging up the phone. She placed the phone down back in the compartment before closing it. She looked at Oliver, his expression pained, indicating he had heard her conversation. She really shouldn't feel any sympathy for him, he killed her mother! Why did she have to keep reminding herself of that?

“Where are we going?” she asked, mainly to stop her own train of thought.

“Coast City, I have an associate from Russia who I know I can trust that is willing to meet me there. Lucky for us, Bratva and the beach don’t mix, so we will be able to stay there a little while until we figure out a way to prove that you’re innocent. However Victor did it, it’s pretty goddamn convincing, and you’re not safe until we clear your name,” he said.

“Who are your associates?” she asked, hoping he would at least tell her that.  
“Roy Harper and Sara Lance,” he responded. 

They continued the rest of their drive to Coast City in silence. Felicity had never heard of the two of them before, meaning they weren’t involved with any of Victor’s business, which was always a good thing. 

When they arrived in Coast City, Oliver’s first move was to find a motel they could stay in. He wanted one on the edge of town, right off the highway, so that in case they had to escape, they could get away quickly. They pulled into the parking lot of the “Coast City Motel”, and Oliver went inside to get them their rooms, as Felicity stayed in the car. He came out a few moments later, and Felicity got outside of the car to help him with the bags. 

“I know you don’t want to share a room with me, but I’m not letting you out of my sight. If my meeting goes well with Roy and Sara, we might be able to stop all this sooner than later, so please, don’t argue with me on this Felicity, but if I have to lock you in that room with me, I will, “ he said, his tone firm.

“I wasn’t going to argue with you on it, but then you threatened to lock me in a room with you. I am not a piece of property, and you don’t have any control over me. If I want to spend my night somewhere else, I can, and there is nothing that you can do that is going to stop me, other than killing me,” she said angrily. She hated when people in the Bratva just ordered her around, or threatened her to make her do things. If she was a man she would never be given this treatment. 

“Felicity I’m not trying to threaten you, I’m simply telling you what I will do. You’re safety is more important to me than your comfort,” he replied, his face suddenly much closer to hers than it had been before.

“You think this is about comfort? This is about the fact that I’m forced to rely on the support of someone who killed my mother to move up higher in the ranks within the Bratva! I just - I don’t even know what do anymore. How am I supposed to trust you?” said Felicity desperately, wanting an answer.

“Felicity,” he said, taking her hands in his own, “all I want is your safety. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard this might be for you, how awful this might feel, but I’m afraid I’m your only choice. I swear to you, I will do whatever it takes so that you come out of this alive,” he begged.

Felicity relented, pulling her hands from his own before nodding. What else was she supposed to do? She had already agreed to let him take her to safety, and given that she had no other option, she might as well, but she had to remember what he did. Nothing that he could say or do would make it up to her, nothing. If she was being completely honest with herself, it was hard to be in presence all the time. She remembered what it was like, what it was like to be with him, to be loved by him - those were the happiest days of her life. And seeing how far they’d grown apart, after everything, broke her heart just a little bit more.  
They made their ways to the room, walking side by side. Once they entered, Felicity saw that there was only one small bed in the room, she was about to object when Oliver spoke, “Don’t worry. I’ll sleep on the floor.” Felicity nodded in response, before placing the bags down in the corner.

Oliver looked at his phone as it chimed. “I have to go meet with Roy and Sara, I’ll be back in an hour. Stay here please,” he said before leaving the room.

Felicity decided that she would try and find out as much as she could while he was gone. She watched him take the car and leave, before she made her way downstairs, and entered the main entrance of the motel. She went up to the front desk, and saw that no one was there. Looking around, Felicity snuck behind the desk and opened up the computer, thankfully it was unlocked, although Felicity could’ve easily hacked into it. 

She hacked into Victor’s email, scrolling through his sent inbox. Most of them pertained to random Bratva business, but one of them read “Felicity Smoak: New Threat” as the title. She clicked on the email,

“Attention fellow brothers. It has come to my attention that Felicity Smoak has been developing a program that could take down the entire Bratva organization. She has been working on collecting all Bratva IP addresses and hoping to send them to police, along with evidence of what he have been doing. If this program goes viral, we will all be at risk. It is essential that we take her out. It seems as if Ms. Smoak has followed in the footsteps of Donna, and is putting our entire organization at risk. She is to be shot on sight, and a generous sum of money will be given to the person who kills her first.”

Felicity couldn’t believe her eyes. Everything Victor had said seemed very plausible (and she was definitely able of writing a program to do that, secretly wishing to herself that she had). Victor had told her four years ago that Donna was killed because she was the snitch, and that she had been leaking information to the police. But now seeing how easily she had been framed, she didn’t believe that Donna would do that. Oliver, however, was willing to protect her, but not her own mother. Why wasn’t he killing her, like he had killed her mother? None of this made any sense, and she wanted answers. She was done letting him hide things from her. One way or another, she was going to find out what he knew. Nothing seemed to add up. 

She heard someone coming, so she exited out of his email and turned the computer off. She ran out from behind the desk just as someone entered the room. She exited the lobby, before making he way back up to her room. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oliver drove out to the “Coast City Burger Joint” that was located right on the beach. It only took him a few minutes. He parked the car and made his way inside, sitting down at the bar. He looked down at his watch, knowing that Roy and Sara would be there any minute.  
“You’ve aged,” called out a familiar voice. He turned his head, to see Sara Lance smiling at him. She pulled out a stool from under the bar and sat down.

“It’s good to see you,” said Oliver, “how have you been?”

“I’ve been busy covering for your ass. The Bratva knows you’re helping her out. Several men saw you leave the mansion with her. They want you dead as well,” she said.

“I know, but I’m not concerned with my safety. I’m just doing what he told me to. If we do things right, Felicity will be safe. Have you had any contact with him? Now that I’m with Felicity all the time, I don’t want him trying to contact me, she can’t find about this,” he said.

“He’s in trouble. The death of Alexei was far too suspicious, and he suspects that someone in the Bratva knows. He’s gone into hiding, but he told me to tell you to keep her safe, and not to tell her anything, at all costs. Felicity can’t know what happened that day,” she said sternly, as if she knew how badly he wanted to tell her.

“I know. Where’s Roy?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Roy thinks he’s been blown. He thinks someone has been following him, and he didn’t want to risk being caught. He decided to return back to Central City, and help run that branch of the Bratva for now. He is doing his best to find a way to prove that Felicity is innocent, but it’s hard given that there isn’t even any evidence,” she replied.

“Thank him for me. I better get going, and stay safe. If you feel like someone is on to you, I want you to drop everything. I don’t want anyone else dying,” he said before getting up.

“Yeah, you too. And I’m sorry you have to lie to her. I know it can’t be easy,” she said before getting up as well.

“It was good seeing you Sara. Thank you for all your help,” he said before hugging her in a tight embrace. After a few moments he let go, and he smiled at her before walking away. 

Thank god for Sara Lance, she was a good friend. He had first met her in the Bratva years ago. Him, Roy and her had been partners, and they worked together for several years. He trusted them implicitly, and would never have survived without them.

He got in the car and drove back to the motel quickly, worried about whatever Felicity was up to. He knew that she didn’t sit still and do nothing, and that she was probably doing something right now. But it was important that she didn’t find out, she couldn’t. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oliver walked in the room to find Felicity sitting on the bed, reassembling one of the burner phones.  
“What are you doing?” he asked amused, because only Felicity would do that when she got bored.

“I got bored, and had nothing better to do, so I opened up the phone and tweaked the hardware so that it would get better reception, “ she said, and Oliver couldn’t help but shake his head and let out a small laugh.

“How did your meeting go?” she asked, her eyes still drawn to the phone in front of her.

“Not great. There isn’t much that I learned, but I promise you that they are working hard to clear your name,” said Oliver.

“And what happens then, once my name is cleared? Do you then tell me everything I need to know? Or do you still continue to lie to me? I went to the front desk and accessed Victor’s email about me. He said I was a threat, just like Donna, so why haven’t you killed me? I mean what Victor says, Oliver does, right?” she asked bitterly.

“Felicity, you know that I can’t tell you. Also it was incredibly risky of you to hack into his email, what if you set off one of the firewalls? He could be able to track you, “ said Oliver, annoyed that she would do something so risky, but then again not at all surprised. 

“Please, Oliver, I practically wrote the code for his firewalls, there was no chance of that happening. Besides, that’s not what’s important, why can’t you just tell me?” she cried out, visibly irritated.

“I made a promise to someone. And I need to keep you safe -“ he began,

“But why? If you were willing to kill my mother because she was a threat, why not kill me? I’m an even bigger threat, according to Victor, so why not just kill me, collect your prize, and become and even more highly esteemed Bratva official? That’s what you want, right?” she asked incredulously.

“I’m so sorry Felicity, “ he said slowly, a pained expression on his face, “I will always try to keep you safe, no matter what.”

“That isn’t an answer! And until you give me one, a real one, I’m leaving, “ she said as she got up off the bed and started to walk towards the door. He stood in front of her not letting her leave.

“I can’t let you do that, Felicity, “ said Oliver, not moving his ground.

“Get out of my way Oliver, before I make you,” she said, poking a finger in his chest.

“No,” he said firmly.

“Fine, we’ll do this the hard way then,” she said, before moving to punch him in the face. He ducked her punch, before trying to catch her arm, but she was too fast. She threw another punch, right in the gut, and then spun around to kick him, but he caught her leg and twisted her around with it, bringing them to the ground. He landed on top of her, holding her arms about her head, all of his weight on her.

“Let go of me!” she said, her voice laced with venom.

“No,” he said, but as she said that, she bit his arm, surprising him, before kneeing him in the groin. She was then able to roll them over, before getting up off him, and started to walk away, as he was still in shock from her kneeing him. No one had ever done that to him before, and he was taken aback by just how good of a fighter she was. He caught her leg as she was about to step out the door, and brought her tumbling to the ground again. He wasn’t going to let her get the upperhand again. He held her hands down with force and spoke clearly, “I’m sorry, Felicity, I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this, but I can’t let you leave. It’s not safe. So if I have to stay perched on top of you in order to stop you from leaving, I will,” he said evenly, his eyes boring into her own. 

“Fine, you win. I’ll stay here with you. But just know, I hate you a little bit more each time you lie to me, and it’s pretty damn hard to hate you more than I already do,” she said angrily. Something changed in his eyes as she said that, and he got off of her. Extending his arm to help her up, but she refused it.

“Is your arm okay? I didn’t want to hold it down too hard?” he asked concern.

“It’s fine, I guess I should consider myself lucky given how you treat people who get in your way. I mean, I’m lucky that I’m even alive since we all know what you’re capable of. We all know how easy it is for you torture someone or kill them to keep your secret safe. There’s no reason why I should be any exception,” she spat out, trying to provoke a reaction from him.

Oliver looked at her sadly before speaking, “Is that really how you see me?” he asked, his voice soft, unsure.

“Yes. You’ve always been a monster, you will always be a monster,” she said again, staring him in the eye.

Oliver looked at her once, before turning around and walking out. He slammed the door as he left. Felicity watched him go, trying to feel pleased with herself for hurting him, but all she felt was guilty. She shouldn’t feel guilty, he deserved all of it. He had been lying to her from the start, and had continued lying to her. And his justification for lying was all because of his stupid “promise” which made no sense whatsoever. She was tired of not knowing, and she had hoped that if she had provoked him enough, he would tell her. Instead, she had just hurt him, attacking his insecurities, and she felt like crap. She didn’t think of him as a monster, and whatever he was, he was trying to keep her safe. 

She decided to shower and hope that he would be there when she got out.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After she had showered, Felicity put back on his shirt, still not having any clothes to wear. She walked back into the room, noticing that Oliver still wasn’t back yet. She sat on the bed, deciding to dismantle the rest of the burners, and reassemble them. After about an hour or so, the lock turned, she picked off a gun of the nightstand that Oliver had left, just in case.

Oliver walked in and Felicity let out a sigh of relief. He gave her one look before walking into the bathroom. She felt even guiltier than she had before. He looked so crushed, so disheartened, she didn’t know her words would have so great of an effect on him.

Oliver walked into the bathroom, not knowing what to say to her. She was right, everything she had said was true. He deserved everything she had said to him and more. He looked at himself in the mirror, not able to recognize the man looking back at him. There was only one thing he knew to be true, that he had to protect her at all costs. He knew she would hate him, and probably wish him dead, but if she was alive and safe, it was all worth it. He still loved her, he had never stopped. The year he had spent with her was the best year of his life. 

He heard a knock on the door, as Felicity hesitantly opened the door, “Oliver?” she called out softly, standing in the crack of the doorway. She was wearing nothing but his shirt, and a feeling of possessiveness washed over him. 

“Oliver… I’m sorry, for what I said. I don’t think of you as - I was just angry that you weren’t telling me anything, and I was trying to push your buttons, hoping you’d say something,” she said, looking down at the ground, unable to face his eyes.

“Felicity, you never have to apologize to me…. For anything. I am sorry, I truly am,” he said stepping closer to her, his face only a few inches from his. She looked up at him, his face was so close. He dropped his eyes to her lips, then back up to her eyes. She slowly moved her face closer to his, as if on autopilot, before realizing what she was doing. 

Felicity took a step back and turned around, exiting the room. She had almost kissed him, what the hell had she been thinking? It was like when she was with him, all rational thought went out the window. He. Killed. Her. Mom. He lied to her their entire relationship, and continued to lie to her now. She couldn’t kiss him because she felt sorry for him, or because she had hurt his feelings. But there was something more to it, wasn’t there? Why did her heart still speed up everytime he looked at her? How could she still feel this way, after everything?

Maybe because deep down, she knew he had killed Donna for another reason. There had to be. It didn’t make sense for him to kill her, but save her. All his lies and secrets, she had no idea why he was keeping them, but there had to be another reason.

She crawled in the bed, before turning off the light. She needed to sleep it off. 

Oliver walked into the room a few minutes later. She was under the covers, sleeping soundly. She had shown him kindness, something he didn’t deserve, and he couldn’t help but love her all the more for it. He would do right by her. Oliver picked up a pillow off the other side of the bed, before lying down on the floor. Once again, sleep came easily to him, something that only occurred in her presence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH DID YOU SEE ANY OF THAT COMING? I hope not! Comments,kudos, and reviews and questions literally make my day and keep my writing going!! <3 Gina
> 
> Find me on tumblr @ilovefelicitysmoaks


	4. Bullets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FLASHBACK: Oliver and Felicity are keeping their distance, but a forced dinner, attempted murder, and stakeout bring them closer together! This part of the story is like 5k words long so its juicy. In addition, we learn a lot more about Oliver and his past (including his own flashback within a flashback lol)
> 
> FIVE YEARS LATER (NOW): Oliver and Felicity find some very important news about whom might have framed her, and they go to Central City to check it out. It gets intense!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI GUYS IM BACK! IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME LONGER THAN NORMAL, BUT SCHOOLWORK WAS A BITCH AND I JUST DIDN'T HAVE THE TIME! This chapter is pretty long tho, like 9k words or something, and I hope you all like it!!

FIVE YEARS AGO (April 9th, 2012):

 

Oliver woke up from his dream covered in sweat. He hadn’t had a bad dream in a while since he had come to the mansion, but after what had happened yesterday with Felicity, it seemed as if his nightmares had returned. This dream wasn’t so much a nightmare, but more of a… reminder. It was actually of dream of when him and Anatoly had first met eight years ago. Anatoly had done so much for him, saved his life time after time, and Oliver had to do right by him. He would fulfill his wishes, fulfill his promise he made to Anatoly as he died. He still remembered the first time he was in Russia, when he had met Anatoly, a little over eight years ago.

_He had just woken up and found himself locked in a cage, unsure of where his boat that he had made to escape Lian Yu had shipwrecked on. Men had come in and yelled at him, tied him up and left him there for days. Then they came in and tortured him for information. It was a vicious cycle._

_He remembered the torture that he had endured for weeks. The men would beat him to try and get information out of him. “Why did you come here? How did you find us?” they would ask, but Oliver simply didn’t know. He didn’t remember what had happened once he got on his man made boat of Lian Yu,  and he wanted the answers as badly as they did._  

_After several weeks, an angel came, disguised in the form of a Russian man with a heavy accent._

_“The needless torture of this man will end right now,” called out a voice, as Oliver and the asshole who was beating the living shit out of him turned their heads toward the voice._

_The man was tall, and looked to be about fifty. He had an impressive beard, and was very muscular. On his right hand he bore a ring, a star symbol, one Oliver assumed stood for whatever organization or mob this place was. Whoever this man was, he clearly held a lot of power, and Oliver hoped he would use it to save him._

_“I was just trying to find out how this man got here. His man made boat showed up at one of our ports, and he almost knocked into a boat that was carrying a load of drugs. He could be a thief, or worse, a cop,” said the asshole._

_“He is neither. That man is no thief, and he is certainly not a cop. Release him from the restraints and leave immediately, “ said the man._

_The asshole left immediately after releasing Oliver._

_“I’m Anatoly,” said the man, “head of the Starling Branch of the Bratva. I already know who you are, Oliver Queen. Your disappearance on that shipwrecked boat two years ago made for quite a news story,” he said._

_“What do you want from me?” asked Oliver, his two years on the island had made him untrusting of everyone. The only person Oliver could trust was himself._

_“I knew your father, Mr. Queen. He was a good man, and he loved you dearly. I take it he did not survive?” asked Anatoly._

_“He died so that I could live,” said Oliver, the pain of that moment still fresh in his mind._

_“I am sorry about that. I guess it is about time we send you home,” said Anatoly._

_“No!” shouted Oliver, before lowering his voice and speaking again, “I’m not - I’m not the person - the person that I was and I don’t know how to be - be that person again. I’m a killer, I’ve killed to survive, and I’ve killed out of hatred. I don’t want to go back home to my family to have them see me as this - this monster. If you could just let me go, I could make it on my own here in Russia, “ said Oliver. Anatoly took a sharp breath before responding,_  

 _“I know what it is like to not recognize yourself, not be able to face the man in the mirror, Oliver, and let me tell you, running away from it will never fix your problems. I was not a good man, I did horrible things, but then I had a daughter. She made me want to change, made me want to be a better person. Now, I try and run the Bratva as well as possible - I try to do the right thing. If you’re not ready to go home, to face everyone, fine. But don’t give up on yourself. Let me help you become the man you once were,” said Anatoly._  

 _Oliver couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He wanted to go home, he did, but he couldn’t face everyone, he couldn’t see his mother and Thea and Tommy, and have them be so disappointed by the person he’d become. He would work to become better, for all of them._  

_“You’re really willing to help some kid you barely know?” asked Oliver._

_“I know how to tell a good person from a bad one, Mr. Queen. You are a good man, a lost one, but a good one. If someone ever found my daughter, lost and in need of help, I would hope that they would do the same. I will help you, “ said Anatoly._  

_“Thank you, God I don’t know what else to say but, thank you, truly, “ said Oliver, “and please, call me Oliver.”_

_Anatoly extended his hand to shake Oliver’s. He had a firm handshake, something Oliver admired. Oliver couldn’t believe what had happened, but he promised himself that he would stand by Anatoly forever. He owed this man his life - and his soul._  

Oliver shook his head at the memory. Anatoly had changed his life. The moment Anatoly died, was the moment everything he had changed. Over the course of the year that Oliver had gotten to know Anatoly, he had learned many things. When Anatoly died, he left Oliver with instructions, instructions on how to avenge him. Oliver knew he had to do whatever it took to repay the man who had given him everything. He wanted to go home, see his family, but the Russian Bratva made Oliver serve a sentence of two more years before he was allowed to return. When he returned, and had seen his family once more, Oliver had to go back, and become a high ranking official. He did everything Anatoly said, and now, after all those years of work. It was time for Oliver to execute his plan. He had been doing a good job of it so far, but he wasn’t sure how Anatoly would feel about him lying on a bed with his eighteen year old daughter watching a movie.

  
This was for Anatoly. And even if it took him another ten years, he swore he would never betray Anatoly, no matter what. He felt strongly for Felicity, and he probably cared more about her then any other person he had ever met, but Anatoly had saved him, and he would do right by him.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Felicity didn’t interact with Oliver over the week. She was crushed, her first “romance” - if she could call it that, had ended, and worse off, she wasn’t even sure he felt the same way. What if she had misinterpreted everything? It’s not like she had a lot of experience dating men. What if he thought she was some young girl coming on to him and she had freaked him out?

She decided to let it go, that it was simply the best option, besides, she didn’t need a man in her life, nor did she really want one. Before Oliver, Felicity wasn’t even interested in any men, mostly because the Bratva was filled with worthless thugs, but also because she didn’t want to waste her time on them. Felicity didn’t dream about boyfriends or husbands, she dreamed about doing something meaningful with her life - something good. And if a man happened to come along the way, then so be it, but if not, she didn’t need one.

This past week, VIctor had made her work on finding the traitor. Victor had gotten one of his men to steal an envelope, and Felicity was forced to scan the envelope, develop a program for recognizing handwriting, and run it against all the men in the Bratva, and all of their enemies. Of course, not only was writing a program like that insanely difficult and would take months (and there was no way of it being accurate, but Victor was pretty dumb). Victor wouldn’t be able to wait more than a week for her to write an impossible and unreasonable program, so Felicity decided to start exacting her revenge against this evil organization by writing a really shitty program, that would just confuse Alexei and Victor more.

She was called to the Bratva wing once more, to share her work with the group. She was secretly excited about messing them all up. And if Victor tried to accuse her of something, it wasn’t like he could read code. Besides his idea was stupid from the beginning, and everyone could see that.

Felicity entered the Bratva wing, walking into the conference room. It was just Victor, Alexei and Oliver today. Oh joy, she thought to herself, all my favorite people in the same place!

“I did as you asked Victor, but you should know it probably won’t work very well. For one, handwriting isn’t a science, and also many people have similar handwriting. Secondly, writing a program that recognizes it accurately would take months, and it would still have a pretty high percent error. Third, it would just be easier to stake out the SCPD to see who is leaving the notes, or determine the type of postage, pen ink, etc. But we can try it your way. I’d be happy to run anybody’s handwriting whom you want - if it would help,” she said, adding the last part in a sugary sweet tone. Victor clenched his jaw, for she had just embarrassed him and made him look like a total idiot. Felicity did her best to hold back a smile, but she couldn’t resist.

“Very well Felicity, hopefully your program isn’t totally useless,” he responded grimly, but even with his little insult, it was clear that Felicity had won that round. She had embarrassed him in front of his Junior Captain and taskforce leader. Being embarrassed in the Bratva was one thing, but being embarrassed by a woman, especially one that was younger, was a whole different story. Felicity loved putting him in his place. 

She glanced at Oliver, who was shaking his head and smiling. Alexei too had a smile plastered on his face.

“Well, if that is all, me and Oliver will leave you and Alexei too it,” said Victor before exiting the room angrily, and Oliver followed suit.

She turned to Alexei, and they began to scan different handwritings from different members into the fax machine. Felicity’s smile did not fade away that day, her victory over Victor was just the beginning in a long line of one’s she swore she would have over him.

Maybe being involved in Bratva business wasn’t so bad - so long as she was sabotaging it.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day Donna came into Felicity’s room around eight in the morning. 

“Get up. We have things we need to discuss. Firstly, Victor told me about your little stunt yesterday - and let me just tell you, young lady, be grateful you only did that in front of two people, had it been more, I would be punishing you like you wouldn’t believe. Secondly, we are going to dinner with Oliver and Alexei tonight. You will be respectful. You will praise Victor. You will not make a fool out of him. Do you understand me?” asked Donna angrily.

Felicity squinted her eyes, mainly because she couldn’t see first thing in the morning, but also because that pissed her off. How could he rmother defend him? How could she defend her second husband over her own daughter? What did she ever do to her mother that made her hate her so much? 

Donna gave Felicity a quizzical look, before Felicity nodded, deciding to pick her battles. If smiling politely and praising Victor meant one day being able to destroy the Bratva and send Victor’s empire crumbling, then so be it. She was more determined than ever. The way she had felt yesterday, with her small victory, it made her feel, in control, like she could finally decide something for herself. Her entire life, everyone had made the decisions for her, but now, she had the power to do something, and she was in control. And it felt damn good.

The rest of the day, Felicity spent working on a program that helped find missing women in Russia, who had shown up in the U.S at a later point as a prostitute or sex worker. It was fairly obvious to her now that the Bratva had many prostitutes, something Felicity hated and detested with every fiber of her being. She never had any proof of this, but a small part of her always suspected the Bratva did things like this. Anatoly swore to her no Starling Bratva ever employed prostitutes, but with Victor as the boss now, who knew what could happen.

It would take her several weeks to make this program, but she was more excited than ever to destroy the Bratva. She would leak this information to the SCPD herself, hoping that they could rescue the girls who were essentially kidnapped and forced, and create an even larger manhunt for Victor and the Starling Bratva.

By the time it was seven o’clock, Felicity wasn’t even dressed, for she was too engrossed in her program. She quickly got dressed, putting on a simple navy blue dress and black boots once again. She didn’t do anything to her hair, but she added some mascara and eyeliner before she left.

She made her way downstairs, this time seeing the entire dinner party waiting on her. She made a point of not looking at Oliver, not wanting to deal with him at the moment. In her Bratva driven rage, she had forgotten all about him - well not really, but she wasn’t dwelling on it. It was an unreciprocated crush, and then he had been a jerk, but that didn’t matter. She didn’t need to pay him any attention, because the less notice she took of him, the easier it would be to get over him.

Or so she thought.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Dinner was not pleasant. Felicity sat at the table, bored out of her mind. Victor, Donna, Oliver, and Alexei were talking about cash revenue and what investments they had that would currently benefit them the best. Make no mistake, Felicity understood everything they were talking about, but it was just too dull. It was clear to her that they were investing in all the wrong companies, only looking at short term benefits instead of long term projections, but it wasn’t like she was going to say anything about it.

She picked her food on her plate, having ordered a salad at her mother’s request, which was just disgusting if she was being honest with herself. Luckily, Alexei who had ordered a vodka soda, didn’t notice when she had switched her soda glass with his vodka soda class, and she was currently nursing a nice buzz, unnoticed. It made her evening a little bit more manageable, but only a little. She felt Oliver staring at her a few times, but she didn’t want to look at him. It was unfair of him to push her away, and then to look at her. Why did he have to play games with her? She told him to leave him alone, he explained himself to her, and then the next morning, he told her to leave him alone as well. He really needed to pick a side and stick to it. All this back and forth was making her nauseous. But then again, so was the vodka on an empty stomach. Oops.

Oliver eyed her from over the table. He had seen her switch glasses with Alexei, although she had done it pretty sneakily. She shouldn’t be drinking. And if Donna or Victor caught her, he couldn’t imagine the trouble she’d be in. He watched her as she took another long sip. That was a lot of vodka for someone of her size and height. He wanted to say something, wanted to stop her, but it wasn’t his place. 

As Oliver joined in on the conversation, doing his best to impress Victor, he caught Felicity rolling her eyes. He didn’t blame her, the entire conversation was boring, and she probably hated every moment of it. Suddenly, he heard a bullet, and then another. The whole restaurant started screaming, people fleeing in different directions. The first thing Oliver did was grab Felicity and run them behind a table that had been flipped. He held onto her firmly, shielding her from everything with his body.

When the bullets stopped, Oliver peaked his head out over the table, before running them towards the bar that was located in the end of the bar and pulling them under it. He cupped her face, his eyes scanning her entire body for injuries, then returned to her face before asking her, “are you okay?”

She nodded her head, indicating yes. Oliver looked at her another minute. He noticed that a bullet had nicked her shoulder, tearing her jacket, but he didn’t see any blood. She could’ve died tonight. He didn’t know who was trying to kill her, Donna, or Victor, but he wanted them dead. He wanted to rip their fucking heads off.  She could’ve died. He didn’t want to think of a world without her in it. He had had met her only for a short period of time, but his day was a hundred times better once he saw her. She made him… smile. He couldn’t lose her.

“Oliver?” she asked tentatively.

“It’s going to be okay Felicity. Promise me you will stay right here,” he said.

“I promise, “ she said.

 He got up slowly, before pulling a gun from his back pocket. The gunfire had stopped temporarily, but he had no doubt the guys who wanted to kill them were still there. He looked around the restaurant, most people had fled, but Donna, Victor, and Alexei were near one of the tables in the back. He gave them a slight nod, before moving his eyes around the restaurant. He walked around the room carefully, checking every angle, when he saw something move through the window of the kitchen door.

He ran towards the door, shoving it open, where he saw a guy moving in the back. He moved after him, the guy noticing him, running away when he saw Oliver. But Oliver was too fast, before he reached the guy, punched him in the face, effectively knocking him out. He stripped him of the weapons on his body, before picking up his body and hauling it over his shoulder. He carried the man outside the kitchen before dumping his body on the floor.

Alexei walked over to him, before speaking, “I checked outside. The cars must have left. I assume it’s the same gang that attacked Victor, Donna, and Felicity a little over four months ago.” 

Oliver nodded and spoke, “I agree.”

They made their way over to Victor and Donna, whom were both safe. Oliver spoke once again, “The restaurant is safe now. Whomever they are, I’m sure him” he said pointing to the knocked out gunman on the floor, “will be able to tell us who they are. I suggest you all go back home immediately. I will be looking into hiring more security for you and your family, Victor, “ said Oliver. He had every intention to follow through on that, because as little as he cared for Victor and Donna, he would make sure Felicity was protected. “I will see to it that Felicity is okay. I think a bullet nicked her shoulder, I’ll take her to the hospital if need be. Alexei will take you all to the town car, along with the man I found, and get you home, once I’m back, I’ll interrogate him ”he said. Victor nodded, extending out his hand to shake Oliver’s. Oliver shook his hand, firmly, before leaving them to go check on Felicity. 

She was leaning her back against the bar, crouched down with her knees to her chest, breathing heavily. When she saw him, she breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Are you okay?” she asked, the worry in her voice evident. 

“Yes, yeah I’m okay. But I should really be asking you that. This bullet, it nicked your shoulder. We should get it checked out, “ he said. 

“It only got my jacket, I’m fine. Thank you for what you did in there. I was a little tipsy, and I don’t know if I would’ve made it back to the bar safely. So, thank you,” she said, not looking him in the eyes. 

“I told you, you never have to thank me Felicity. I’m just glad you’re okay, “ he said, extending his hand to help her up. She took it, and he pulled her to his chest. 

“Uh- we should, we should get going, “ said Felicity flustered, for many reasons, her proximity to him, the alcohol, the fact that she had almost died. 

“Yeah we should. Come on, I’ll call us a cab, “ he said gently, before taking her hand in his own. 

Felicity was really confused. It was so hard to be around him. It didn’t help that he looked really good in a suit. Like really fucking good. And it was unfair that he had to go around saving her - not that she needed saving. Well tonight, she was actually pretty tipsy, and she might not have made it without him. 

It was hard though, not to have a crush on him. He had to go around saving her, acting all nice, being kind, and it was driving her crazy. As she was lost in her thoughts, Oliver tucked her into his side, his hand now around her waist. What the hell was he doing? But then she looked down at her own hand to see that it was shivering, and if she was being honest, he was very warm. She stayed there until the cab came, before he moved to open the door for her, before climbing in after him. 

They said nothing the cab ride home. Felicity did her best not to drift off, knowing that her head would probably rest on his shoulder if she did. When they got there, she barely noticed, before Oliver had opened her door for her, and held her hand to guide her out of the car. His hand rested on the small of her back before they walked to the door. Once they were inside, they stood opposite each other, before Oliver spoke, 

“Goodnight Felicity. I am glad you’re okay, “ he said. 

“Goodnight Oliver,” she replied, before turning and walking up the stairs

She went up to her room and shut the door.  When he had left her that night to find the attacker, she couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t help but wonder, what could have happened. What if he died? What would she do? Whatever she was feeling for him, it was a lot stronger than she thought, and that thought terrified her. She wasn’t the type of person that let emotions control her, and she knew she would never be that type of person, but the thought of their being someone out there that she really and truly cared about (a different type of caring than she felt for Donna and Diggle), well that was uncharted territory. 

Oliver watched her go upstairs. She had almost died. She had almost fucking died. That same thought would not stop playing over and over in his head. He knew he had a promise to keep, a promise to do right by Anatoly, and he would fulfill that, no matter what, but he couldn’t stop caring about her. What he felt for her, it was something he had never felt before, and he didn’t want to let go of this feeling. Felicity was the first person since the island, since the Bratva, that he could see as a … person, not as a target or as a threat, but as a person. He didn’t know what to do about his problem, so he went to his room and tried to sleep it off.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two days later, Felicity and Oliver were once again in the same room, with Victor and Alexei. Oliver and Alexei had determined that the attack was carried out by the same gang that had attacked them four months prior. Due to that, Oliver met were the gang’s head, and the two groups worked out a deal. It wasn’t perfect, but it would keep Felicity safe, and Victor was impressed which was an added bonus. Now, all of Victor’s attention had once again returned to the snitch. The handwriting scan had gone nowhere, and he wanted more desperately than ever to catch the snitch. Their deal last night with the triad was busted, and four of his men were in prison. At this rate, there would be nothing left of the Starling Bratva in nine months.

They sat across from each other, neither of them looking the other in the eye. It was a game of chicken, wondering who would break first, but both were incredibly stubborn, but also very afraid of what they were feeling. Finally, Oliver looked up at her, unable to look away any longer. She looked gorgeous; her hair up in a neat ponytail, her makeup simple but elegant. She looked up at him a moment later, before flitting her eyes back to Alexei, who was speaking.

“Oliver, I think it would be a good idea if you and Felicity staked out the SCPD. Felicity can send out a false alert about a trade going down with the triad tonight, and you two can watch outside the SCPD to see who is going in and out, and catch this son of a bitch. The only people who will know the alert is fake, are the people in this room. If no one shows up, then there must be another way he is getting his information to the police, perhaps a secret meeting spot or something? But this will at least eliminate some information for us, if not give us the answer, “ said Alexei to Oliver. 

Felicity was actually pretty impressed with his plan, he was smarter than he seemed. Although not smart enough to know that she had switched his vodka soda for her soda, but still, he was pretty smart. And this plan, it could catch the snitch, whomever that might be, and Felicity did not want that happening. She had to find a way to let the snitch know the alert was fake, but she didn’t know how. This alert would be sent out to the entire Starling Bratva, which held over two thousand members, and there was no way Felicity would be able to find him, and warn him in advance.

The only thing that could work, is if she sent out an alert, that wrote “false news” at the top, and made it seem that she had sent it to each person individually (so that they themselves would think they weren’t suspected as a snitch, and hopefully whoever was the snitch wouldn’t show up at the SCPD thinking the news was real). She would send the correct email format to Victor, Alexei, Oliver, and Donna, but to everyone else she would send the fake one. It was risky. Very risky, and if someone found out, she could be severely punished. But she could also hack into everyone’s email after they had read the emails and change the format of the email. Yes. She could do this, and she would.

 She had completely zoned out in her thoughts when Alexei spoke, “Felicity, does that sound okay to you?”

“Yes, of course. Yes - yeah, no it sounds good, really a good plan. I like it. I’ll do whatever you need me to do, “ said Felicity, a string of words flying out of her mouth.

 Oliver looked at her quizzically before speaking, “I’ll meet you in the stakeout van around six?” he asked.

 "Yeah,” she said, realizing that she had agreed to go on a stakeout with Oliver. Well, that would be hard, but she had to do it, and if the snitch did show up, maybe she could distract Oliver from noticing, or convince him from telling Victor.

 Alexei dismissed everyone, and Felicity went up to her room to work on her program. She first sent out the emails to everyone, making it so that by nine tonight, all the emails would revert back to the form that didn’t detail it as false news. In addition, she made it so that if someone tried to screenshot or take a picture of the email, it would modify itself. This was the type of hacking Felicity liked to do, hacking that did something good. It made her feel alive, it gave her a purpose.

 After several hours she looked down at her watched, and realized it was almost time to go. She got dressed quickly in a pair of dark black jeans and a black hoodie, before making her way downstairs. She made her way to the back of the house, where the ten-car garage held all their other cars. Oliver was leaning against the van, one foot bent and perched against the door. He looked like a model, his hair slightly ruffled - but it only made him look sexier. How did someone look like that? It just wasn’t fair.

 She made her way over to him, before he spoke, “Hey, you ready to go?”

 “Yeah,” she replied before opening the door and climbing in.

 Oliver made his way over to the driver’s side before getting in. He started the car and they backed out. They arrived parked outside the police station about twenty minutes later. The tension in the car was palpable, neither of them knowing what to say. Neither of them really knew where they stood, or where the other one stood. Both of them were fighting within themselves for what they wanted, and what they had to do. They wanted answers. But both of them were too scared to say anything. 

After an hour of watching the police department in complete silence, Felicity spoke, “I don’t know if this person is going to show. They probably would have showed up by now to give the SCPD some time to bust the deal.” 

“That’s true, I doubt she or he will even show up, they’re probably not dumb enough to hand deliver their notes anyway. But Alexei and Victor wanted it done, so, here we are, “ said Oliver, looking her right in the eye. 

“Yeah, “ said Felicity, a little to breathily. Although to be fair, it was hard to say anything cognizant when he was looking at her like that. 

“Felicity, about what I said earlier, I’m sorry if I hurt you - or made you feel like I didn’t want anything to happen between us. Believe me, I want that, I really do, but I can’t risk hurting you - anymore than I already have. I really do care about you, and if things were different - if I was younger, or you were older - if I didn’t have this - this job to do, then maybe things could be different -” 

“But they can’t,” said Felicity, finishing his thought. He looked at her, she knew him so well. 

“I wish that they could, “ he said. 

“Me too.” 

They looked at each other for a long time. A silent understanding between the two of them. They both felt it, and they both wanted it - but it was never going to happen. 

“Can we still be friends?” asked Felicity tentatively, “I like talking to you about things.”

“I would love to still be friends,” said Oliver, before taking her hand and squeezing it.

They spent the rest of the stakeout talking about all the things that they had missed. They talked about random things, and some personal things, and it felt so _good_. Maybe they were never going to kiss, or go on dates, but the connection they had, it was enough. As long as they were both alive and talking and laughing, Felicity was content with that. And so was Oliver. 

Or so they thought. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

FIVE YEARS LATER (March 3, 2017): 

Felicity woke up early, her mind going into overdrive. They had so much to do, so much to workout, and she couldn’t wait another second longer. She had to call John, find out if he was okay, and see if he had found out anything. She didn’t want to spend another day, not knowing anything. She didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just tell her, but if he wouldn’t she would damn well find out. She didn’t even know where to begin with her search. 

What type of secret could he possibly be keeping? Did it start the day Donna died? Or did it start before then? Before she could get too lost in her thoughts she noticed Oliver sleeping on the floor. He looked so peaceful, so content, she didn’t want to wake him up. She knew the type of nightmares he suffered through, and if he had a good night, she wasn’t going to disturb him. It didn’t look like he had slept much over the past four years, and any slept he did get was much needed. Yes, she was supposed to hate him, but Felicity wasn’t cruel - and despite everything, she still couldn’t stop feeling whatever it was that she was feeling.

Felicity laid in bed for the time being, knowing that if she got up or moved too much he would wake up. After about another hour or so, Oliver lifted his head and finally got up. 

“How long have you been up?” he asked, his voice still groggy. 

“Only about an hour, “ she said, before moving to get up off the bed. 

“You should’ve woken me up, “ he said. 

“I know, I just - you don’t sleep well, and you have nightmares normally, and you looked tired and sleepy, so I thought I’d let you sleep, “ she said, avoiding his eyes, not wanting to see his reaction.

“That was very nice of you. Thank you, Felicity, “ he replied, before moving closer to her again. 

Why did he have to say her name like that? Why did he have to walk closer to her? It made this whole keeping her distance thing much harder. She had almost kissed him last night. He hadn’t revealed anything to her, or told her is reasons, other than his broody “I will protect you”, and she had still been willing to kiss him. What the hell was wrong with her? She needed to focus on other things at the moment, like saving her life, mostly so that she could be alive, but also so she wouldn’t have to battle herself about what she was feeling. 

“I should call John, see if he found out anything, find out what they’re doing, “ she said, before moving to get the burner phone of the table. Oliver merely nodded in response. 

She picked up the phone and dialed John’s number, praying he would answer. Oh god what if something happened to him? She couldn’t lose John - he was the only family she had left. 

“Hello, “ said John, as Felicity breathed out a sigh of relief. 

“John, are you safe? Are you okay?” asked Felicity. 

“I’m fine, and I’m glad you are too. I found out a lot of news Felicity -  and it isn’t looking good. The manhunt they have going for you is insane. I don’t think it would be wise for you to stay any place longer than a few days, if that. Every single branch of the Bratva has seen your picture, memorized it, and are ordered to shoot on sight. Victor’s even put out hit contracts for you with lots of other mob organizations. He has made you the enemy, “ said John. 

“But… how? I mean it’s one thing to take his word for it, but he must have some type of proof - something that would make people believed him, “ replied Felicity, who was quite confused. 

“Victor has proof. And it’s pretty damning. If I didn’t know you as well as I did, I might’ve believed him. Victor worked up a story as to how since Donna had been the snitch who had first started appearing five years ago, and was then killed because she was revealed to be the snitch, you wanted revenge. He said from the moment she died, you had upped your training in order to be prepared, and you started keeping mostly to yourself and working on your computer program in your room, “ said John. 

Felicity had to give Victor credit, the story aligned with everything that had happened. And given that she made no secret of her dislike for the Bratva, it wasn’t a surprise to her that everyone believed him. 

“There’s more, “ continued John, “According to one of Victor’s guards - one of the only men who know what really happened, Victor stole your laptop about a month ago, right around when Alexei died, and replaced it with a fake. He then hired some tech whiz from Central City, I believe his name was Cooper Seldon, to create a fake program that only looked like it could trace Bratva IP addresses according to email, phone, etc. and would send the data to local police departments. He showed this information to a high ranking Bratva member in shock - pretending to be concerned, one day before you escaped, and a day later, he had sent out an alert to the entire Bratva. Everyone believed him, and he’s building more propaganda by the day, saying how you plotted against the Bratva your whole life, that you put out the hit that killed your father, and so on, “ said John gravely. 

Holy shit. Victor had done literally everything in his power to make her look guilty. That son of a bitch really wanted her dead, as for the reasons why, she didn’t know, but she had better find out. 

“Thank you John, I can’t imagine how much you had to risk yourself to find out that information. But please, don’t do anything else, I don’t want anything to happen to you, “ said Felicity, unsure of how he found out his information, but she knew that it probably was dangerous. 

“You know I will always do everything in my power to help you out?” 

“I know. And I love you for it.” 

“Stay safe, and call me when you can, “ said John, before cutting the call. 

Felicity turned off the phone, before turning to look at Oliver. She had the call on speakerphone, so that he could hear, and by the looks of him, he was mad beyond belief. 

“Oliver?” she said tentatively.

“I have to go to Central City to find that punk, and make him erase the program - or at least prove your innocence. You need to stay here, in this room, and not talk to anyone. I’ll be back in two days, “ said Oliver before turning towards the door. 

“Oliver, wait! You can’t just expect me to stay here. I’m coming with you, “ she said, her tone not to be argued with. He turned around, his expression grim as he looked at her. 

“No you aren’t, “ he said, his tone even firmer than hers. 

“Yes, I am. First of all, you’re not going to be able to find this guy without my help, and second of all, I understand tech and computer science, I can talk to him and maybe relate, “ she said, taking a step closer to him. 

“Central City has one of the biggest Bratva branches in the country. If you think I’m going to just let you go there and -” 

“You don’t ‘let’ me do anything. I make my own choices, and I’m coming with you.“ she said, interrupting him. 

“We’re not having this fight, Felicity, You are not coming. End. Of. Discussion,” he gritted out through his teeth, looming over her, his stance aiming to intimidate her.

“What if something happens to me here? What are you going to do then?” she asked, challenging him. 

“Nothing will happen to you here, “ he said, before turning around towards the doors, but she grabbed his arm, not allowing him to leave. 

“If you don’t take me with you, I will call up Victor right now and tell him exactly where I am, “ she said defiantly. 

“You wouldn’t dare, “ he said angrily, hoping he had called her bluff.

“Oh, but I would. Besides, we both know you’re not going to take that risk - so either I’m going with you or I’m going with Victor, “ she said triumphantly, knowing that she had won. 

“Fine, but the second I deem it unsafe, you’re getting the hell out of there, get dressed while I get things ready“ he said, before removing his arm from her grasp and walking out the door. 

Felicity hurriedly got dressed before making her way to the car. She saw Oliver standing at the trunk, where he had opened up the back of the car and pulled out several weapons. He handed her the Beretta M9, before slipping a Glock 43 behind his back. He then walked to the front of the car, opening the door for her, and then walked around the other side. 

He was angry, very angry, and he wasn’t hiding it well. Felicity knew that what she did had gone against everything he was trying to do, but she was more than capable of taking care of herself, and she wanted to find this guy and talk to him - not just beat the crap out of him. 

He didn’t say anything as he drove them towards Central City. Before they arrived, about 50 miles out of town, Oliver stopped one town over. He parked at a party store, before getting out, not saying anything to her. He was angry with her, and he had didn’t want to yell at her. He knew it was frustrating for her not knowing his secrets, but she should’ve known by now that he was trying to protect her. And her jumping into the belly of the beast - that was not a worry he needed right now - and it certainly wasn’t going to protect her. He walked inside the door and picked out multiple disguises, a black wig and a pair of glasses for her. He picked out a floppy haired wig for himself, and then made his way to the register and paid. 

He walked back to the car, Felicity’s eyes on him the whole time. He opened the door and handed her the wig and glasses. He didn’t say anything to her, before he climbed in the car, and put on his own wig, taking several moments to adjust it. He watched as she struggled with her own, before she finally got it on, and had secured it. She slipped on the fake frames, and he started the car. 

Felicity finally broke the silence, “If we stop at a Starbucks or something, I can use their wifi to find Cooper’s address.” 

Oliver nodded in return, pulling up to the next cafe, and dropping her off. She came out several minutes later, an address written on her hand. 

“45th and Walnut, “ she said, and Oliver once again nodded in response before starting up the car and pulling it back onto the road. 

“Are you ever going to speak to me? I get that you’re mad but, we should talk about our plan once we get there,” said Felicity. 

“We knock on his door, and talk to him. Tell him to delete the program, and to prove that Victor put him up to it, “ he said.

“And what if he says no?” she asked, already knowing the answer.

“Then I make him say yes, “ he said, his voice unwavering. 

“What about if I went up and talked to him alone? I understand technology, and I might be able to get him to do what we ask without ‘making him’, ” she asked, hoping he would listen to her reasoning. 

“Not a chance in hell. You’re not going anywhere in Central City without my help. Besides, for all we know, his place could be crawling with Bratva thugs, and I’m not letting you anywhere near that, “ said Oliver, his voice unyielding, Felicity knew not to argue with him

They entered the city a few minutes later, both of them silently holding their breath. It was very unlikely that the Bratva was scanning each car for one of them, but they had to be careful. Oliver made his way to 40th and Chestnut, before stopping the car and parking it in a deserted alley to the left of the intersection. He got out slowly, his eyes scanning the entire area. He opened the door for Felicity, before pulling her out, using his body to shield her from anything he might not see.

 He walked them towards 45th and Walnut, using mostly back alleys and small roads, not wanting to risk being seen. They came to the right intersection about fifteen minutes later, before looking up at the three story row house. Oliver walked towards the door, his eyes already having scanned the entire area for Bratva cars or people. The door was slightly nudged open, and Oliver took out his gun and pushed it open gently.

  
“Hello?” he called out, but there was no response. He then opened the door widely, walking in, with Felicity right behind him. He checked the entire room, looking for Cooper, or anyone but no one was there. Felicity looked around, the place looked… off. All of the stuff was in a disarray, all his clothing and personal items thrown to the floor, while she could she no sign of any of his tech. Felicity knew that nerds were normally hyper-organized, and had at least one tablet or phone on each floor. Something was wrong.

 “Oliver, I think someone got here already. This place has been searched, “ she said quietly.

 “You’re right. It looks like the Bratva got here first. Victor is covering his tracks, but hopefully they missed something. Let’s go upstairs, but stay behind me, “ he said, before walking up the staircase.

 Felicity followed him up, her gun out as well. They made their way into each room, checking for any evidence, but it seemed as if the Bratva had swept it clean. There was no device of any kind, which was very troublesome, because Felicity needed to find something of his in order to figure out how he did it.

 They made their way up to the third floor, which was just one room. In the middle of the room, there was a bed, with a man laying on it. There was no doubt in her mind that that man was dead. Together, they walked closer seeing blood pouring out of his head onto the sheets. He was shot in the head - and recently too from the looks of it.

 “Oh my god, “ said Felicity, the air leaving her lungs. They had used this man and then killed him.

 “Hey, “ said Oliver softly, “we will get to the bottom of this. I promise.”

 Felicity nodded her head and gulped, before looking at him again. He was their only hope at clearing her name - of setting her free, and he was dead. The poor guy, whomever he was, he had a life, and that was taken from him just so Victor could kill her.

 Felicity looked around the room, hoping to find a laptop or something, while Oliver examined the body. She checked in the en suite bathroom, and then in the walk in closet. If there was a laptop or something that she was hiding, she would hide it in her sock drawer. She opened up his drawer and felt around, but she didn’t find anything.

She went back out to see that Oliver looking at the body. His eyes swirling with anger and something else she couldn’t quite pinpoint.

 “I can’t find a laptop or anything, “ she said, her voice sounding desperate.

 He came over to her and took her in his arms. Felicity wasn’t sure what made him do it, but in that moment, she needed to be held by someone, be told that it was okay. He held her for a few minutes, his hand on the back of her head which she had buried into his chest. 

He pulled back gently, moving his hand to cup her cheek, before speaking, “we will get Victor, Felicity. We will find another way. I promise you,” he said so softly she could barely hear him.

 She nodded her head, before pulling back slightly, seeing something glint in the corner of her eye. She turned her head, looking at the bed, and saw a small corner of something metal sticking out underneath the blanket. Felicity walked towards it and moved the blanket, seeing a laptop underneath.

 “I found it!” she said triumphantly.

“Good job. Now let’s get out of here, and out of this city,” he said as he took her hand in his own and led them downstairs.

 They made their way out of the house, and were heading back to the alley when Oliver sensed something strange. He turned his head to see a man trailing him. Oliver had no doubt this man was Bratva, in fact, he was pretty sure he recognized him.

 He whispered into Felicity’s ear, “we’re not safe, play along,” quietly, before pushing her back against the alley, and moved his head up and down her neck. To any bystander, it looked like Oliver was kissing her neck, and Felicity played along. After a minute or so, the man who had been following them had left.

 “Come on, we better go. Someone knows we’re here. Or at least suspects it,” he said, grabbing her hand again and running them towards the car. Once they had gotten to alley, they saw two men by the car, their backs turned to them.

 “Stay behind me, “ he growled to Felicity, before walking in front of her, pulling out his gun, but not announcing himself. When they were merely fifteen feet away, Oliver spoke to them, “Can i help you, gentleman?”

 The men both drew their weapons, rather sloppily, and it was clear to Oliver they hadn’t done this before. Oliver pushed Felicity behind the car, before running towards the men. They weren’t going to shoot him - not yet, and he grabbed one of them, twisting the gun out of his hand before punching him in the face and kicking the other to the ground. 

He grabbed the keys out of his pocket and opened the door, before tossing them to Felicity over the car. Felicity got inside quickly, but she got into the driver’s seat, since she was on the driver’s seat side. Oliver had knocked the two men down, and was closing the door. she heard a shot. Oliver screamed out in pain.

 Shit. He had been shot. She looked at him, and saw that he was in immense pain. She couldn’t see where the bullet had hit him, but she knew that it did. He looked at her once, before telling her, “drive” as loudly as he could muster.

 Felicity knew she had to get them out of there, outside of this city as fast as possible. She drove faster than she ever had, maneuvering through the many alleys before finally pulling onto the main street that would lead to the highway. Unfortunately, there was a block of traffic to get through before she could make it onto the entrance to the highway.

 She turned to look at Oliver, who she now saw, had been shot in the shoulder, and who had lost consciousness already. He was bleeding out, and quickly. She needed to stop the bleeding, so she took off her jacket and wrapped it around his shoulders roughly, before tying it tightly. She knew it wouldn’t do much, but it was all she could do. She couldn’t take them to a hospital here, because she was sure the Bratva would come for them there.

 The traffic finally moved and she made it onto the highway, driving as fast as she could. After they were at least fifteen miles out of the city, Felicity exited the highway, and pulled onto a rural country road. She stopped the car and came around the other side, pulling Oliver out of the car. He was unconscious, and it didn’t looked good. She dragged his body onto the road, removing her jacket from him, and then taking off his shirt. She saw where the bullet had hit him, right in the shoulder, and she knew she would have to take it out.

 She went to the back of the car, getting all the supplies she found, before kneeling down next to him. She could see where the bullet was lodged, and she grabbed the pair of tweezers, sterilizing them quickly, before attempting to pull the bullet out, but it was stuck. His eyes opened a little at that, clearly the pain having brought him out of his unconsciousness.

 “I’m so sorry Oliver, but this is going to really hurt, “ she said, before shifting the tweezers, and grabbing the bullet more firmly, before lodging it out of his shoulder. He screamed out in pain, before Felicity poured some antiseptic on a cloth of gauze and padded it on his shoulder. She knew it would hurt like a bitch, and it was the last thing she wanted, but she had to make sure it didn’t get infected.  Oliver screamed again, and Felicity winced, not wanting to see him in so much pain.  She kept muttering “I’m sorry” to him, before finally removing the gauze, and picking up the needle from her pile of supplies. She would have to do a hack job at sewing him up, but it was the only way. She grabbed some numbing cream, applying it to the area, before taking the needle and pushing it through her skin. She sewed it up quickly, but actually managed to do a nice job of it. Luckily, the numbing cream had helped, and Oliver wasn’t screaming in pain. 

When she was finally done, she put the supplies down, and looked at Oliver. He was fully awake now, thank god, and was just lying on the ground there, his head in her lap. 

“Are you okay? How does that feel? I promise we will get you to an actual hospital soon, but not so close to central city, “ she said quickly, before moving up slowly, gently placing his head on the ground. She grabbed the supplies and dumped them in the back of the car quickly before returning. 

“I’m okay Felicity, thank you for saving my life,” he said. He moved to get up, but winced, so Felicity took his hands and through them over her body, before using all her force to pull him up. She then allowed him to lean all his weight on her as he walked them to the car. She pushed him in, before coming around her own side. 

“I’m going to drive like hell to get out us out of this area, and then we will get you to a hospital. Do you think you can hold on till then?” she asked. 

“I’ll be fine, just drive, “ he said, leaning his head back against the seat. 

Felicity quickly pulled them off the road, before getting them back on the highway. 

He had almost died tonight. He had almost fucking died. She didn’t know what she would’ve done if she lost him. She couldn’t lose him. She looked at him, as he sat there with his eyes closed, and she knew that she still felt the same way about him as she did before. Fuck. She wasn’t supposed to feel this way - he lied to her, killed her mom, continued to lie to her, and yet, when she had almost lost him, she thought she couldn’t breathe. Thankfully, due to the adrenaline, she had been able to save his life - but just barely. 

What if he had died? That was a thought she couldn’t bare. She needed him to be alive. She needed him. 

Felicity drove them about a hundred miles out of Central, before stopping at a small hospital in some rural town. She got Oliver admitted quickly, and waited in the waiting room as he was tended to. She knew that he would be okay, but the thought that he had almost died couldn't be removed from her brain. 

A doctor came out, and spoke to her, “Ms. Smoak, he's doing fine now.  He asked to see you,” said the doctor.

Felicity followed the doctor to his room. He was going to be okay. _Thank god._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH DID YOU LIKE IT? I hope you did! Comments, kudos, reviews, etc. make my day!! I hope you guys loved the story! I'll try and update it once more this weekend, but depending on school, I may not be able to until later next week (so sorry!)  
> I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR READING!  
> xox gina <3


	5. Loneliness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FIVE YEARS AGO: Annual Bratva Ball - felicity in a gorgeous dress, Oliver in suspender, who knows what could happen ;) More on Alexei and Oliver, and whatever they might be planning
> 
> FIVE YEARS LATER (NOW): Felicity takes an injured Oliver to Ivy Town, where she helps him out. Tensions rise! A little more insight into Oliver!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI GUYS! I'm back! This chapter took forever to write, but I literally couldn't do any other work until I wrote it! (I have an actual 10k essay to write, and instead I wrote almost 10k words of this, so I hope you enjoy)
> 
> I hope you all love it!

FIVE YEARS AGO (April 17, 2012):

It was that time of the year again. The annual Bratva Ball. It happened each year and Felicity detested it. She was forced to dress up in fancy dresses and kiss Bratva ass for Victor and Donna. It took place at the Starling City Museum, and was disguised as a “Kord Industries” Annual Charity Ball, but all the money that was donated was given to the Bratva, and everyone who attended was almost exclusively Bratva. The event allowed for multiple Bratva Branches, from hundreds of miles out, to meet with each other and discuss business on a national level. In addition, prominent members from the Russian Bratva Branch were coming, and the most lucrative and successful branches in the country were given extra money and bonuses from the Russians.

Felicity knew there was no way she would get out of going to this thing. She knew it would be a whole night of assholes hitting on her or forcing her to dance to with them. The sexism and misogyny in the Bratva was so extreme, Felicity wanted nothing more than to bomb her house and burn the Bratva to the ground. But she had to be more careful if she wanted to accomplish anything, and taking things slow was the only way to get things done. 

She had been working non-stop on her program that would help trace all the women who had been prostituted and sold, although it was hard to find anything conclusive. She had no proof that anything like prostitution and trafficking went on in the Bratva, but given that no one in the Bratva seemed to have morals or a conscience, she was almost positive that it did. Her program was taking forever to write, but Felicity was persistent, and just hoped that when she finished it, she’d be able to do some real good with it. 

She had been spending a lot of time with Oliver - as friends, of course. He spent most of the day working on Bratva business, although sometimes he’d train in the gym the same time as she would (although when he was there she didn’t exactly get much work done - she mostly just stared). Almost every morning though, they’d have breakfast together, sitting at the kitchen island and chit-chatting.

Today morning was no different, Felicity made her way downstairs to see Oliver sitting at the island, eating a hard-boiled egg.

“Hi,” he said, a smile on his face.

“Hi,” she said, eyeing his food, before speaking again, “you do know that we have other food than just hard boiled eggs. Like you could at least fry it or something to make it taste better.”

“The whole point of boiling them is so you don’t have to fry them - the oil is bad for you.”

“The oil is what makes it edible.”

They both laughed out loud before Felicity went to the freezer and pulled out some ice cream. Oliver gave her a judgmental stare as she pulled out a seat next to him and dug into the container with her spoon.

“You do know how bad that stuff is for you?” he said.

“You do know how good it tastes,” she said before taking another bite. 

“Most people don’t eat ice cream for breakfast,” he said shaking his head. 

“I am not most people.”

“That I won't argue,”  he spoke, but as he was about to take another bite of his egg, Felicity took her spoon and dolloped some ice cream on his egg.

“Now it might actually be edible,” she said smirking.

“You’re dead,”  said Oliver, before getting up to tickle her, but she was too fast. She ran around the island, and he chased her, the two of them going in circles. He caught her after a minute, her back against his chest as he tugged her to him and started tickling her.

“Oliver!,” she said loudly while laughing, “Oliver stop!” 

Oliver set her down gently before she turned around to face him. She didn’t think that Junior Bratva Captains tickled people, let alone chasing them around the room to tickle them. They stood there laughing before Oliver looked at his watch and noticed the time. 

“Hey, I gotta go, but I’ll see you tonight?” he asked.

“Tonight?” she asked surprised. 

“For the ball, I thought you were going.”

“Oh right, right - the ball, of course. Uh, yeah, yes, I will be there,” she said flustered.

“Good. I’ll see you there,“ he said smiling, before turning and walking out of the room.

Felicity had forgotten that he would be there too. That he would be in a suit - with suspenders underneath the suit - and he would be looking as handsome as ever. Crap.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Felicity got dressed in front of the mirror. She was wearing a navy skin tight dress that reached the floor, with a halter neck, and fair portion of her back showing. She had her hair done in a low bun, and wore simple but elegant makeup.

It was almost eight o’clock, meaning she would have to leave soon. She slipped on her heels, which she had a lot of trouble walking in, and made her way downstairs. No one was there, and after five minutes, she called Donna.

“Hey mom, I’m ready to go whenever you are, I’m down in the -”

“Felicity we don’t have time to talk. Victor and I had to go early. Just take a town car there, “ her mother interrupted quickly, before cutting the call.

Felicity felt a little sick at that. She had always showed up to the ball with her mother, it was something they always did together. She didn’t get to spend a lot of time with Donna, and the time that they did spend together was usually far from pleasant, but at the ball, she would always walk in side by side with Donna, sometimes even linking arms. She hated the ball, but being with her mother for those few moments - it was so nice. But now, she wasn’t even getting to walk in with Donna. Her heart sank, as a single tear slipped down her cheek.

She made her way to the town car parked in the front and climbed in. Within twenty minutes she was there. She made her way out of the car, and walked up the front steps of the museum. She remembered her first Bratva Ball when she was just seven years old. Her, Donna, and Anatoly had made their way up the steps, each of them holding her hand. She was too young to understand what this ball signified, what the Bratva even was, but all she knew was that she was happy. Unfortunately, that pure happiness went away the moment Anatoly died. 

She finally came to the entrance of the museum, and walked through the revolving door into the grand entrance. The room was filled with people, and Felicity made her way through, looking at the pieces of art on the walls. She looked around for Victor and Donna, but they were nowhere to be found. She walked over to the bar, and asked for some whiskey. She was going to need alcohol - heavy alcohol - to make it through this night, and since she looked older than she was, they didn’t even card her. She sipped it slowly, letting it burn down her throat. 

Oliver saw her from across the room. She looked… stunning. The dress, the hair, the everything, was so tasteful, and she looked beyond beautiful. Oliver watched her walk around the room, presumably looking for Donna and VIctor before she gave up and sat at the bar. Whatever she had ordered, Oliver was sure that it wasn’t a coke. She seemed to be drinking a lot, and Oliver didn’t like that. She was only eighteen, it wasn’t even legal! 

He made his way over to her, while she was already finishing her second glass of whiskey.

“Hi,“ he said, his voice low and rough. The word ‘hi’ should not be able to sound sexy, and yet Oliver managed a way.

“Oliver!” she exclaimed, her cheeks flushed from the alcohol. She really had very little tolerance.

“What are you drinking?” 

“Whiskey, “ she said, before taking another sip.

“Can I have a taste?” 

“Sure,” she said as she handed him the glass.

Oliver handed the glass to the bartender, before speaking to him in a very low and growly voice,“don’t let her drink anything else. The only thing she’s allowed to drink is water.”

Felicity looked at him as he spoke to the bartender. Why did he have to come over here, looking like  _ that _ , and have to take away her drink? That drink was the only thing getting her through this very long night.

“You shouldn’t be drinking,” he said sternly. She pouted her lips. God she was adorable. 

“I feel like we’ve had this conversation before,” she said, slurring her words slightly. 

“Clearly it didn’t stick,” he replied as he placed his hand on her lower back and led her away from the bar.

“Talk to me Felicity,” he said looking down at her as he spoke, his face just inches from hers, “why are you drinking?”

“It’s stupid - I mean it’s just, I just don’t want to talk about it, okay?” she asked,

“Okay,” he said softly, “but if you ever need to talk to anyone, about anything, I’m here.”

Felicity nodded her head and looked down, feeling stupid. She was just sad, and she really didn’t have many people to talk to. John was gone more often than not lately, Raisa was always working, and her mother just didn’t seem to care. Felicity knew that logically, Donna must love her, but she just never showed it. And Felicity was just… lonely. But when she was with Oliver, she didn’t feel so lonely, she felt like she had a friend, someone who she could count on. 

“Do you ever get lonely?” she asked, the alcohol having loosened her inhibitions.

“Yes. All the time,” replied Oliver softly.

“What do you do about it? How do you make it go away?” she asked desperately, hoping for a simple answer.

“I think about all the people in my life whom I love, my sister, my mother, my friends, and how I know that they are there for me. This life - it’s a lonely path, and I won’t tell you that it doesn’t get lonely - but if you have people who love you, people who you love, and a purpose, or something to fight for - it makes it more manageable, “ he said quietly. 

“What if you don’t have any of those things? What if you never get any of those things?” asked Felicity even quieter, not even sure if she had said it outloud.

“Felicity, you have those things, I promise you. You are loved, and even if you haven’t found a purpose yet, I promise you that you will,“ he said cupping her face with one hand. When he realized that they were in a public space, and that it might not be considered appropriate, he withdrew it and stepped back.

“Can I trust you?” she asked, taking a step towards him, effectively destroying the space that he had just created for them. 

“What?” he said, confused as to where her question was coming from.

“I mean - can I trust that promise? That I’ll find those things, that I won’t feel this way forever?” 

“Yes. You can trust me. I promise you that Felicity, “ he said, his eyes boring into her. He wanted her to know that he meant it, that she would get everything - he would make sure of it. He hated that she felt so sad, so  _ alone _ . She deserved so much better than this life.

“Come dance with me, “ he murmured, before taking her arm and leading her onto the dance floor. He used his other hand to grab her waist and pulled her flush against him. He was holding her close so she didn’t trip, he argued to herself. She rested her head against his chest and swayed with him.

“You’re very comfy to lean against,” said Felicity as she nuzzled her head into his chest more.

“I’m glad,” said Oliver, smirking at how tipsy she was. Everything she did was adorable.

“You’re also very handsome, but you  _ must _ know that,” she said slowly before quickly covering her tracks, “ I meant to say that in my head. Not out loud.”

“I don’t mind the compliment, “ replied Oliver, as he continued to sway them. 

“I wish things could be different between us,” said Felicity honestly. She couldn’t seem to stop the thoughts from flying from her mouth.

“So do I,” said Oliver as he looked down at her. A moment later the song ended, and Oliver led them off the dance floor, but instead of leading him them to the main area, he walked them to one of the gallery's off to the side. The one he led them to had many steel sculptures, and was completely empty. 

“I think you should sober up a little before going out there and talking with people,” said Oliver, concerned as to how Victor and Donna would react.

“That’s a good idea. Besides, I don’t want to be out there anyway. I hate these balls, “ Felicity let out a giggle at that, “not these balls, like balls - balls, I mean like a ballroom in the plural, “ continued Felicity.

“A ballroom in the plural?” asked Oliver, his lips quirking up.

“You know what I mean,” she said as she swatted his chest.

“Well, you look beautiful,” said Oliver sincerely.

“You don’t look so bad yourself - actually, you look very handsome. But you know that, and I have told you that already. Multiple times,“ said Felicity muttering mostly to herself. 

Oliver quirked his lips up before moving closer to her. He wasn’t sure exactly what he was doing, but he didn’t want her to feel so sad. There was so much sadness in her eyes, and he just wanted to take it away. 

“Oliver?” asked Felicity tentatively. 

“Yeah?” replied Oliver as he moved his lips just inches from hers, his face so close she could feel his breath. 

“What are you doing?” she said as she moved her face closer to hers.

“I don’t know,” said Oliver, still unsure what he was doing.

“Oh,” said Felicity dumbly. 

Oliver didn’t answer her as he took her face in her hands and pressed his lips softly to hers. She gasped slightly and Oliver took that as an opportunity to run his tongue inside her mouth. She responded almost instantly, and the kiss intensified. 

Felicity had never kissed anyone like this. Well, technically, she had never kissed anyone (that game of spin the bottle really didn’t count). And if all of her kisses were like this from now on, she would more be okay with that. 

Oliver couldn’t believe he was kissing Felicity. It was by far the best kiss he had ever had. He had completely taken control of the kiss at first, but then she responded, and it was amazing. Everything about her was amazing. And he didn’t want to stop kissing her.

Oliver deepened the kiss, moving to wrap his hands around her lower back. Felicity moaned slightly and Oliver growled in return. The kiss was heated, weeks of tension had finally led to this moment. Oliver was completely lost in the sensation when he heard footsteps. He gently pulled his lips back, before mouthing ‘someone’s coming’ and moving away from her, pretending to look at the art.

A moment later, Alexei walked into the gallery.

“Oliver, Felicity, I’m glad you’re here, I’ve been looking all over for you two,” said Alexei as he walked towards the pair, giving Oliver a stern gaze, as if he knew what had happened. 

Felicity stood there flushed, her lips swollen from the kissing, so she merely nodded and looked down, hopping she wouldn’t draw any attention to herself.

“What can we help you with Alexei?” asked Oliver, seemingly unaffected.

“We have new information on the traitor, it seems as if he is paying different carriers to deliver the messages to the SCPD. We caught one outside the SCPD yesterday from one of the stakeout groups, and we have him in the basement. Felicity we need you to decipher his phone, and Oliver I need you to help with the interrogation, “ said Alexei before leaving.

“Felicity - “ began Oliver,

“It’s okay Oliver, we will talk later. You have a job to do, and so do I, I guess,” she said quickly before starting to leave. Oliver caught her arm and spun her around to face him, 

“That kiss meant a lot to me, Felicity - I don’t want you to think that I -”

“I know Oliver - I know. But we have to go now. We’ll talk later, “ she interrupted again before leaving him.

Oliver stood there for a minute dumbfounded. He had just kissed Felicity. He had kissed Felicity for several minutes. It was beyond fantastic. He wanted to do it again, he wanted to be able to kiss her whenever, to talk to her whenever. He wanted it all with her. He knew he couldn’t do it, that he would have to lie and deceive her, but he wanted it so bad. It was like he was in love with her. 

Shit.

He was in love with her. 

The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. He had only known her for so little time, how could he be in love with her? But as he stood there, thinking of her, just her name bringing a smile to his lips, he knew that this was love. That what he felt for her was real.

He walked out of the gallery and made his way to the entrance, pushing through the revolving doors and down the steps of the museum. He then climbed onto his Ducati and made his way back to the mansion, joining Alexei in the interrogation room, except there was no one there, as he had suspected. Alexei had simply concocted a lie in order to further their efforts. 

“Victor is convinced that we have the man who will lead us to the snitch, “ said Alexei.

“I know,“ said Oliver.

“How do you suppose we go about it next?” asked Alexei.

“Just stick to the plan. That’s the way we go about it. Stop trying to change it, if we stick to it, it will work. You’re too ambitious “ said Oliver coldly, not feeling like arguing with Alexei at the moment.

“Is kissing Felicity not too ambitious or is it just another part of that plan?” sneered Alexei.

Oliver shot him a look that effectively said “go to hell” before Alexei spoke again,

“Don’t think I didn’t know about it. Whatever is going on between you and her better end. We can’t have it getting in the way of things. If I have to, I will tell Victor,” said Alexei.

“Victor worships the ground I walk on. He doesn’t care whether I’m with Felicity or not, “ replied Oliver, not liking the direction this conversation had taken. Alexei, even back in Russia, was far too ambitious. He was good at acting dumber than he was, but bad at making smart decisions. He acted impulsively, and could bring everything they had worked for crumbling to the ground. 

“I’m not talking about telling Victor about Felicity. I’m talking about telling Victor everything else,” said Alexei.

Oliver sighed to himself, Alexei was a good man, truly, but he let his emotions dictate him, and if he was provoked, he would act out in the stupidest of ways, consequences be damned. 

“Alexei, let’s be reasonable here. I’ll admit, I feel strongly about her, but I know it can’t become anything. I won’t let it distract me from my mission. We both have a promise to keep,” said Oliver truthfully. Despite that amazing kiss with Felicity, he couldn’t let anything happen until he had completed his task, but then again once he had finished his task, Felicity would probably never speak to him again.

Alexei nodded his head, realizing he let his anger get to him. 

“Get some sleep,” said Oliver, before leaving the room and walking back to his living quarters.

He knew how he felt about her. He had finally admitted it to himself. 

He was in love with her. 

But, he was lying to her. He would have to continue to lie to her to carry out his promise. And his promise had to come first. The longer he stayed around her, the more he started to blur the lines, and the more he wanted to tell her everything. 

Despite all his worries, Oliver couldn’t stop replaying that kiss in his head. He fell asleep rather quickly, dreaming of Felicity.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next few days Felicity avoided Oliver like the plague. She couldn’t talk to him about that kiss, she couldn’t handle another talk. It was easier to just… avoid him. She purposely didn’t come down to their unspoken breakfast arrangement each day, and every time she heard him coming down the stairs to the gym, she gathered her things and hurried out of there before he could say anything to her. She wasn’t being subtle exactly, but at least her methods were effective.

Her plans of avoiding him indefinitely, however, all came to a crashing halt when Alexei called another briefing, and Felicity was forced to go, per Victor’s request. Luckily, there would be Alexei, Victor, and other men there as well, so there was no way they would be able to talk about it.

Felicity zoned out for most of the meeting, but it mainly pertained to what Oliver and Alexei had discovered during their interrogation. After about an hour or so, Victor and many of his men left, leaving just Oliver, Alexei and Felicity.

“Felicity if we give you his phone can you give us all the numbers that this man called?” asked Alexei.

“What?” asked Felicity confused, not knowing what they were talking about. 

“The man’s phone that we recovered last night. Can you give us the numbers?” asked Alexei again, frustrated.

“Uh yeah sure, of course,” said Felicity, thinking of how easy it would be to give them completely wrong numbers and lead them askew once again. 

Oliver looked at Felicity. She didn’t know that they were lying about the phone - about whose phone it really was. That there was no man in the interrogation room last night. That Alexei had taken a fake phone, inserted the SIM card from someone who they needed to find out was calling, and gave that person a brand new SIM card in place of the old one. He felt bad using her, but she was the only one who could hack into the phone and give them all the phone numbers that had been erased of the card’s data. 

“Oliver, give Felicity the phone, and oversee her as she gets the numbers,” said Alexei, before leaving the room. If Oliver was watching her as she pulled the numbers, there was no way Felicity would be able to switch them without him noticing. He still seemed like he had loyalty to Victor, and Felicity couldn’t risk it. 

“You’ve been avoiding me, Felicity,” said Oliver, who was now standing up, towering over her as she sat in her chair.

“Well - no, no I’ve been really busy this week, and I’ve got lots of you know Bratva things, that I’ve been doing, and you know - “

“Fe-li-ci-ty,” interrupted Oliver. 

“Okay, fine. Yes, I’ve been avoiding you, but it’s because I know you’re going to call the kiss a mistake - “

“It was not a mistake,” growled out Oliver. 

“Or you’re going to say that the kiss couldn’t lead anywhere, that it has to be a one time thing, that as much as we both want it, it’s wrong, but that we can still be friends, or something like that, “ said Felicity wearily, she was really getting tired of this conversation. This  _ same _ exact goddamn conversation every three days. 

“Felicity I - I can’t explain to you how deeply I care about you. How when I kissed you, I think the world stopped moving, and I know, I  _ know _ it isn’t fair to tell you this, but I just don’t want you to think otherwise. To think that you’re alone. I don’t know exactly why I kissed you, but when you talked about how you felt unloved, or like you had no one, you  _ have _ to know you have me. I will always be there for you. I promise you that,” said Oliver, hoping he wasn’t being unfair by telling her these things. He knew it must hurt, but she had to know that she wasn’t alone.

Felicity hadn’t expected him to say that, and even though it sucked that they couldn’t do anything, that it would be dangerous for them on both ends, she felt something stir inside of her at the fact that Oliver would be there for her. 

“You - you have me too, you know, if you ever need me,” said Felicity, her face flushed, “it’s a shame you know, that was a pretty damn good kiss,” said Felicity standing up, so that she was only inches away from him.

“It was a very good kiss,” murmured Oliver, who was now looking down on her as she tilted her head up. 

“Since we’re clear where we stand… It wouldn’t be terrible to have one last kiss, would it?” she said as her hand gripped his t-shirt. 

“Not terrible at all,” said Oliver, as he closed the distance between them, grabbing her as he placed his lips on her own.

This time, Felicity deepened the kiss, running her hands through his hair as she stood on her toes to reach him. She ran her tongue inside his mouth, as he growled, squeezing her ass. He then tugged the back of her head, tilting her head up, so that he could control the kiss, sweeping his tongue inside her mouth, causing her to gasp. After a minute, they pulled away, both of them breathing heavily from the intensity of the kiss. 

“You’re pretty good at that,” said Felicity, her eyes twinkling.

Oliver chuckled before grabbing her head and placing a kiss to her forehead. He held the kiss for several moments, not wanting to leave - knowing that as soon as he did, he wouldn’t be able to do it anymore. He wanted this,  _ god _ how he wanted this. He loved her, he wanted to love her, to wake up by her side, spend his days with her, and go to bed curled around the woman he loved.

He had never allowed himself to think like this, but that was all before Felicity. Everything changed when he met her. 

Felicity stood there in her arms, wondering if that was what it was supposed to feel like. Having someone, someone who would be there for her always. She hadn’t had it in so long, she forgot what it felt like. She didn’t want to lose it, lose him, but he promised her that he would always be there for her - and she had faith that he wouldn’t break that promise. 

After several moments, he released her, and she looked up at him giving him a small smile. His eyes were watery, as were hers, both of them clearly affected by it. Felicity walked out of the room, and left, realizing that she would now have a chance to mess up the phone numbers that she was to give to Alexei.

Oliver watched her go, hoping that she wouldn’t keep her distance, that they would at least go back to being friends. He needed her in his life in some capacity. He knew that he hadn’t watched her input the numbers of the phone, that those numbers were crucial, but he knew she was smart enough to figure it out.

Alexei and him were ahead of schedule, and when Victor would leave for Russia in the summer, they’d be able to complete what they had planned - or so they hoped. But they needed those numbers. Good thing Felicity Smoak was working on them.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

FIVE YEARS LATER (March 5, 2017):

Felicity walked into the hospital room, seeing Oliver lying on the bed, his eyes closed.

“Hey,” she croaked out, looking at him in the bed. He looked so weak, so helpless, so not like Oliver. She sat down by the bed, putting her hand on top of his. 

“Hey,” said Oliver, his voice groggy as he looked her up and down, “you should get yourself checked out too. You’ve got a lot of cuts and scrapes.”

“I’ll live, “ she said, her voice choking up, “but you almost died Oliver.” A single tear spilled down her cheek, as she did her best not to cry, before continuing, “I thought you were going to die.” She looked down, unable to look him in the eye.

Oliver squeezed her hand, reminding her that he was alive, before he spoke to her softly, “Felicity, I’m okay. You saved my life, thank you.”

She couldn’t say anything else, afraid that she would accidentally confess how she really felt, how she still felt about him. She didn’t want to ever lose him. She rested her head on the bed, her hands in his, just holding them, feeling that he was alive.

After an hour or so the doctor came in, telling them that Oliver was ready to be dismissed. Felicity dealt with all the paperwork, and got them out of there as fast as possible. 

She switched cars with another one in the parking lot, hot-wiring it so that it would work, and transferring all of their stuff from their other car. She was positive that the Bratva had gotten their license plate, make, and model, and it was not safe for them to be in that car anymore.

She got in the car and drove, with Oliver in the back. She insisted Oliver ride in the back and sleep, but when she eyed him in the mirror, it was clear that he wasn’t sleeping. 

“Are you feeling okay? We can stop for some food or -”

“I’m okay Felicity. But you need to call John, find out what he knows. Also we can’t go back to Coast City, we have to go to an entirely different place altogether, “ said Oliver, his voice scratchy.

“I know. I’m not taking us to Coast City…  I’m going to Ivy Town, and I already called John. The entire Bratva was aware of what happened to us in Central City. They don’t know if I’m alive or not, but they think you’re dead which is good I guess, but they’re more determined than ever to catch me. He said I should call him tomorrow to see if he can find out more,” said Felicity.

“That’s good,” he said hesitantly, before taking a long pause, “we’re going to… to Ivy Town?”

Felicity knew what Ivy Town meant to them - what had happened there between them was something they would both never forget, but it was the only safe place. No one knew about Ivy Town, no one knew that they had been there, and there was no sign of Bratva for at least a hundred miles outside of it. 

“It’s the only safe place I could think of, and I figured it would be easier to go to places we knew, so that we could escape easily incase of anything,” said Felicity honestly.

Oliver didn’t say anything in response, not knowing what to say. They were going back to Ivy Town, his mind flooded with memories from their blissful time there. He remembered every moment that they had had there - it was seared in his brain. He knew she was doing it to keep them safe, that almost no one knew that Ivy Town existed, but he didn’t know how he was supposed to go back there, especially with the distance between the two of them. 

A few hours later, they had reached Ivy Town. It was late, and they were both exhausted. Felicity pulled into the driveway of the small one bedroom cottage that they had shared before, and opened the door for Oliver. She wrapped his arm around her and allowed him to use her as a support as she brought them inside. The spare key was still buried in the flower pot, and Felicity dug it out with her hands, before putting it inside the lock and turning the key. She opened the door, and walked her in Oliver in.

“Can you make it upstairs?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he grunted, his fatigue evident. He had lost a lot of blood. Too much blood. And it had taken its toll on him.

They walked up the stairs slowly, eventually making it to the bedroom. The cottage was very small, with just a living room and a kitchen downstairs, and a bedroom and bathroom upstairs. She walked over to the bed with Oliver, letting him lie down before she released herself, and walked to the bathroom.

Oliver watched her go into the bathroom. She had saved him. For everything that he had done, all the things he wouldn’t tell her, she had still saved him. There was so much goodness inside her, so much light, something that no one could burn out. She saved his life and had shown him kindness, even though he had done nothing to deserve it from her. Why didn't she hate him?

As Felicity watched him as she walked in the bathroom, she could barely believe the sight she saw. She had never seen him so tired in her entire life. He looked so defeated, so...small. If he had died tonight, Felicity didn’t know what she would have done. After all this time, after all the lies, Felicity still wanted -  _ needed _ him to be okay.

She looked in the mirror. She had taken off her fake wig and glasses by now, but she looked so different than she did five days ago when she had found out about all of this. She looked like she had aged ten years in these few days she had spent running for her life. And yet, everything had changed in these five days. All of the lies and the pain was still there between the two of them, but all of her feelings for him, they remained unchanged. How could she still love him? She had spent four years hating him, doing everything in her power to cause trouble for the Central City Bratva, planned his fall from power, planned his murder, and she still couldn’t stop loving him.

And him taking that bullet, which she knew he had blocked with his body from hitting her, was just one of the many things he had done to save her life. He put his entire career on the line for her, risked his life hundreds of time - all to keep her safe. But why? 

She needed to sleep, she couldn’t keep thinking about it any longer, so she walked outside the bathroom.

Oliver lay in the bed in his t-shirt and jeans, having changed from the hospital before they had left. She knew he shouldn’t go to bed dressed, but he looked so tired she didn’t want to wake him up.  She walked out of the bathroom, and was about to go downstairs, prepared to sleep on the tiny couch, when he spoke, “Felicity”

“Are you okay? Are you in pain?” she asked panicked, walking over to his bedside, and kneeling down. 

“I’m okay, I just wanted to thank you for saving my life,“ he said groggily, his voice barely understandable.

“I almost lost you Oliver, I almost failed. You could’ve  _ died _ Oliver!” she said, tears spilling from her cheeks, unable to keep them in check any longer. He took her hand in his own, while using his other hand to wipe the tear from her cheek.

“I’m here Felicity. You will never lose me, I promise you,” said Oliver, echoing words he said to her five years ago.

Something snapped inside of her. She didn’t know if it was the proximity to him, the words he said, or because he had almost died, but Felicity had to get out of there. She couldn’t be around him anymore, she didn’t trust herself.

She got up slowly, walking away from him. She walked down stairs and sat on the couch, holding her head in her hands. It was all catching up to her, these past five days, the past five years, her  _ entire  _ life. She didn’t know what to do anymore, how to go about any of it anymore. She just felt alone, a type of loneliness she hadn’t ever felt. 

She didn’t hear him come down the stairs, didn’t see him kneel down in front of her, only noticing his presence when he cupped her knee. She removed her hands from her head before looking at him.

“Felicity, talk to me,” he said gently.

“Why are you trying to protect me? Why did you take that bullet for me?” she asked, praying he would finally answer her question.

“I think you know why Felicity,” said Oliver, before speaking again, “why don’t you hate me?” he asked.

“I tried to, but I-I can’t. And I don’t want you to die, I can’t lose you,” said Felicity honestly. 

Oliver wrapped his arms around her, before bringing her closer, and repeating the same point he had made before, knowing that she needed to hear it again. 

“You will never lose me,” said Oliver again, as she buried her face in his chest. She stayed there for a long time, before he lifted them up off the couch. He took her hand in his own and led them up the stairs, both of them not saying anything, unable to acknowledge whatever this was. They made their way upstairs before Oliver sat down on the bed, leading Felicity to sit down next to him. He leaned back eventually, as did Felicity, and with some minor adjustments she found herself curled around him, resting her head on his uninjured shoulder. 

She didn’t know what she was doing, why she was allowing herself to do this, but she needed someone right now - not just someone, she needed him. She fell asleep minutes later, the tiredness catching up to her. 

Oliver held her there. She didn’t hate him. He still had a chance with her. He promised himself that when he had completed his task, did as he was told, he would tell her everything. If she was able to save him, to hold him, to not hate him, after what she thought he had done, she might be able to forgive him once she knew everything.

That one thought burned in his head: he had a chance. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Felicity woke up slowly. Her head was snuggled on his shoulder, her arm across his torso, and her leg hitched over his. His hand rested on her hip, holding her quite tightly in his state of sleep. She had woken up in this position many times before with him, usually they were both wearing much less however.

Her heart started to clench as she remembered how it used to be, how their problems back then had seemed so small. She never would have never predicted that this was where they would’ve been five years later. Felicity suddenly realized it was dangerous for her to be in his arms, she needed to get up.

She shifted gently, trying to extract herself, but the hand on her hip only tightened. She really didn’t want to wake him, but she wasn’t sure how to get up without waking him up. She tugged on his hand slightly, able to loosen his hold slightly, before detangling her leg from his own and sliding out of the bed. She looked at him, and noticed a tiny layer of sweat on his forehead. She pressed her hand against it and realized it was hot - too hot. 

Running downstairs she made her way to the small kitchen and opened up the medicine cabinet which she hoped had never been emptied out. Luckily for her there was still ibuprofens and a thermometer, and she brought it upstairs with her, along with a cold compress and some water. She placed the cold compress on his forehead, and placed the thermometer under his armpit. 

He woke up, groaning slightly, and turned to see Felicity’s worried face peering over him.

“You have a fever, it’s really high. You need to take this,”  she said as she handed him the ibuprofen and a water. He sat up slightly and took the medicine in his hand and swallowed it. He didn’t feel well, but he didn’t want to say anything and worry her anymore.

“I’ll be right back, I’m going to run to the pharmacy and grab some flu-medicine, along with other essentials,” she said before making a move to leave the room.

“Felicity you can’t, it’s too dangerous!” said Oliver as loudly as possible. He was not going to let her put her life in danger to help him.

“I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself, and besides, no one knows about Ivy Town - and we both know that. We’re safe here, and you need medicine. The last thing you need on top of recovering from a bullet is a flu, you’re body won’t be strong enough to fight it on its own, “ said Felicity.

Oliver watched her go, knowing that there was nothing he could do or say to stop her, and that even if he was strong enough to get up and chase her, she made a valid point. He couldn’t afford to be weak when her life was in danger, and he needed to recover as soon as possible. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Felicity returned an hour later, to find Oliver asleep once again. She had made it to the pharmacy and back, picking up many essentials that they were needing, along with stopping at the thrift store for a few more clothes for the both of them. She made her way upstairs holding the medicine, and nudged Oliver gently to wake him up.

She handed him the medicine which he took wordlessly, before she set it back down, and sat at the edge of the bed. 

“How are you feeling?” she asked.

“Better,” lied Oliver, he was feeling much worse, but he knew the medicine would kick in soon enough, and he wasn’t going to worry her anymore.

“You’re a shitty liar. The medicine should help,” she said before getting up off the bed and making her way downstairs to unload the food and supplies she had bought.

Oliver watched her go, smirking to himself. She really knew him too well. He wanted to get up, go downstairs, and see what she was doing, but he trusted her, and figured she was just unloading supplies or something.

He let himself drift back to sleep, not noticing when Felicity came back in to check on him every thirty minutes. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oliver woke up the next day, regretfully alone. He hadn’t realized he had slept almost twenty four hours, but he was feeling much better. He made his way to the bathroom and showered, coming out with just a towel on his hips. His clothes weren’t anywhere to be seen, so he walked down the stairs in just a towel, hoping that his clothes were down there.

Felicity had laid out all their guns on the couch, and was currently cleaning them.

“Hi, “ he said, surprising her. 

Felicity’s eyes roamed over him. She hadn’t seen him shirtless in quite some time, and it was a sight to behold. The scars on his chest, the chiseled muscle, it was all quite hard to take in. She noticed some new scars on his chest, ones that hadn’t been there before. She had long ago memorized his scars, and the new ones caused a pang in her heart. He didn’t deserve it - no one deserved this. Her eyes travelled to his shoulder, where he had been shot. The stitches she had done had been taken out by the doctor and replaced with glue stitches, but the wound still looked painful. She cringed silently, not understanding how this man was still alive after everything he had gone through. 

She hadn’t realized that she had been staring until he cleared his throat, smirking at her.

“Hi, uh, how are you feeling?” she asked flustered, embarrassed to have been caught staring.

“Better. Have you seen my clothes?” he asked, his lips still ticked upwards.

“Oh yeah, you’re bag is right there. I also bought some new clothes yesterday which is just over there by your bag,” she said, turning away as Oliver walked towards his bag.

From the corner of her eye she watched as he brought one shirt over his very muscular chest and put it on. He then dropped his towel and put on a pair of boxers, before finally slipping on his cargo pants. He walked back towards the couch, picking up one of the guns that had been cleaned, and inspected it.

“Nice job, but why are you cleaning them?” he asked.

“Didn’t really have much to do,” said Felicity

“What about Cooper’s laptop?”

“Oh crap, I totally forgot about that,” replied Felicity as she ran out the door.

She returned several moments later, laptop in hand. She powered it on, before looking up at him smiling at her.

“I’m going to go call Sara and Roy, see what they’ve found out. After, do you want to get some breakfast? It looks like you haven’t eaten in days, “ said Oliver, which was very true. All Oliver had brought with them was a bunch of power bars, which wasn’t enough to sustain them. She hadn’t even noticed how hungry she was until he said that.

“Uh yeah sure, breakfast would be great,” replied Felicity, knowing better than to turn down Oliver’s cooking. He walked away, his shoulder clearly not ailing him anymore, and his sickness seemingly gone.

She returned her focus back to the laptop. It was password protected, and knowing that this guy was a serious hacker, it would take longer than a few minutes to crack the code. 

An hour later Oliver called her to the kitchen, with an omelet on a plate in his hand. He extended it towards her and she accepted it gladly, moving to sit down at the small table in the corner. 

“Any luck with Sara and Roy?” she asked while taking a bite out of the omelet. It really was delicious, if she hadn’t known better, she would say it was made by a gourmet chef.

“Not much. They told me the Bratva is at a dead end again, not knowing where to find us, but they also can’t tell us anything else about how Victor set you up. I’d say the only hope at this point is the laptop. How’s that going by the way?” said Oliver, as he cooked his own omelet on the pan, sprinkling on some salt. 

“It’s not. I can’t even crack the password. Whoever this guy was, he installed serious security measures so that no one can get into it. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it.”

“No. You can do it. You’re the best, “ said Oliver sternly, before transferring his omelet onto a plate and sitting down across from her. 

“What if I can’t?”

“You will. Besides, Roy and Sara are working their asses off to find out more about this Seldon guy. And I’m sure John will find out other information as well. It’s only been a week since it all happened.”

He made a good point. It had only been a week, although it had felt like a year. Felicity took the last bite of her omelet, and got up putting her plate in the sink, before realizing that his wound needed to be redressed. It was clear he had showered, but when he walked downstairs, she noticed the wound was not tended to. 

“I should take a look at your shoulder, “ she said as she moved to grab the supplies from the medicine cabinet. She had restocked it thoroughly, and grabbed the gauze and ointment, along with the antiseptic spray. 

“I think you’re just trying to get me shirtless again,” joked Oliver, his eyes twinkling.

Felicity hadn’t heard him joke, and it was refreshing, but she still gave Oliver a stern look. He got up to sit on the counter, and pulled off his shirt.

“This is going to sting,” she said as she sprayed the antiseptic on him. She moved to stand in between his legs, in order to get the right angle, but it was very intimate, and both of them were aware of it. She placed the ointment on his wound gently, before covering it with gauze.

“That feel okay?” she asked as she placed the tape over it, securing the bandage in place.

“Barely hurts,” said Oliver.

“Good,” said Felicity, before moving away from him and putting back the supplies in the cabinet.

Oliver sat there, unable to understand her. She had saved his life, taken care of him, shown him concern, and didn’t even ask for the truth. It was like she had given up on anyone ever telling her anything. He had done that to her, taken away her trust of people, and he hated himself for it. He hated seeing the pain he caused her. He hated it all.

Felicity turned her head to look at Oliver, before quickly looking away. His gaze was too intense, it said too much, and she didn’t have the energy to try and figure out what it meant. She walked out of the kitchen, resuming her task of trying to hack into Cooper’s computer. Oliver came out of the kitchen moments later, and picked up the guns that Felicity had cleaned and placing them on the ground, before beginning to clean the rest of them. 

They sat there together, neither of them saying, just trying to finish their respective tasks. Ivy Town held a lot of memories for them, that room held a lot of memories for them, but neither of them could be bothered to think of anything else at the moment.

After an hour or so, the laptop died, just as Felicity was getting close. “Dammit!” she yelled, causing Oliver to turn his head to look at her. “The laptop died, I should go into the town to try and find a charger,” she said as she grabbed one of the cleaned guns and put it behind her back.

“I’ll come with you,” said Oliver as he got up, following her out. Knowing it was pointless to argue, Felicity let him follow. 

Since the town was so small, a population of maybe two-thousand at most, there was no need to drive anywhere. Felicity and Oliver walked slowly into the town, neither of them saying anything once again, until Oliver broke the silence.

“Why did you think of Ivy Town?” asked Oliver, unable to understand why she would bring them back to a place that was so important for the two of them - that meant so much for their relationship. 

“Only place I knew of for sure where there wouldn’t be Bratva,” said Felicity, hoping he wouldn’t press on the question.

“You could’ve taken us down to Florida, no Bratva there.”

“Too long of a drive. This was the closest and safest place I could think of.”

“Oh,” said Oliver, a little disheartened. Some part of him hoped that Felicity had brought them here because it was where it had happened. But he still had hope that he could fix them, after everything was over. She was more forgiving than he could’ve expected, and maybe, just maybe he had a chance. 

Felicity didn’t know all the reasons she brought him here. It was the first place that had come to her mind, but there was more to it. Maybe she had hoped that he would tell her the truth, about everything, but it was clear that wouldn’t happen. She hadn’t pestered him about it since he had been shot, not wanting to aggravate him in his fragile state, but now he was better. She hoped that maybe if she could push enough buttons, bother him enough, he would tell her the truth. 

“Why did you shoot my mom?” she asked, knowing he probably wouldn’t answer, but maybe after her saving his life, he would give her something more to go on. 

All of Oliver’s hopes came crashing down - she still wanted to know everything. The thaw that he had felt, it was right there again. And in denying her the answer in this question yet again after she had saved him, would only make things worse. It would always come back to Donna, and because he loved her, he wouldn’t tell her the truth. He couldn’t hurt her like that, and he knew that by him taking the blame, it would hurt less for her than her knowing the Donna was trying to kill her. Of course, if she knew Donna wasn’t her mother, it wouldn’t be  _ as _ bad, but there was no way he’d ever be able to tell her that because of the promise he made. The only way was to stick with the same story he told her four years ago, and the same one he told her just a few days ago.

“Victor told me to, she was the snitch after all,” he said.

“You and I both know she wasn’t. Tell me why!” she said angrily, hating being so blatantly lied to. It was like he didn’t even try to make the lies believable anymore.

“I can’t. And you know that I can’t. So you can try to push me and threaten me, but I won’t tell you, “ said Oliver, frustrated at how stubborn she was.

“Why not? Give me a good reason why!” she said, not dropping the subject. She stopped walking and grabbed his arm, halting him in his place. Oliver looked down to where she had grabbed his arm, eyebrow raised, before speaking,

“I’m tired of having this same conversation. Now let’s go get the laptop,” said Oliver in a low voice, before pulling his arm from his grasp. Felicity simply grabbed it again, her anger bubbling.

She had let her concern and worry for his life cloud her judgment these past few days, but no longer. He still wouldn’t tell her, still wouldn’t trust her with his secret. She had saved his life, and he still wouldn’t tell her! He owed her truth, but he refused to give it to her. He killed her mom. He lied to her. He left her. He hurt her, in ways no one else had, and she couldn’t forget that. And on top of all that, he still wouldn’t tell her.

“ _ You’re  _ tired?” she said disbelievingly, “if you want to know what tired is, let me tell you. I’m tired, because my mother is dead, and so is my father, and I’ve lived with my evil stepdad for the past four years, who has sent the entire Bratva on a manhunt for me - for reasons that I can’t know because it’s ‘too dangerous’” she shouted, before poking him in the chest and continuing, “Tired is being forced to trust the person who murdered my mom, lied to me about the reasons, continued to lie to me about the reasons, and still won’t tell me anything after I saved his fucking life. Tired is not knowing anything, not being able to do anything, because a  _ man _ is telling me that I can’t handle it, or that it’s ‘to protect me’. I don’t need your protection, I think I’ve established that. I need the truth, and I am beyond tired of hearing all the reasons why I can’t” she cried out, before punching his chest, not using much force. 

“Fe-li-ci-ty,” he began, not wanting to see her like this.

“Don’t ‘Felicity’ me! Tell me! Just fucking tell me Oliver!” she shouted, before releasing his arm and using it to prod him in the chest with her other first. He just looked at her, his eyes saying something she couldn’t understand, something she was just too tired to decipher. When he didn’t answer, and simply stared at her, a sad look in his eye, Felicity got even more frustrated. She kept pounding his chest with her fists, not hitting very hard at all, just trying to get him to say anything, to  _ do  _ anything.

After a minute Oliver grabbed her wrists and stopped her. He knew how angry she was, how she had every right to be, but he still couldn’t tell her. According to Roy and Sara, things with what they were planning were worse than ever, and the hit put out on Felicity would only complicate matters more. He wasn’t even close to being able to tell her, and even though he wanted to, more than anything else, he had no way to do that. 

She tried to move her wrists from his grasp, but he wouldn’t let her. He just held her there, not letting her move, which only angered Felicity more. Finally, having enough, she threw her knee into his groin, causing him to release her wrists as she started to walk away. He caught up to her in a few moments, walking by her side again.

“You told me you still love me. What is so important that you can’t even tell someone you love the truth?” she said, her voice now shaky as she willed herself not to cry.

“I wish I could tell you. Do you understand how badly I want to tell you?” he said, his own voice shaky as well.

“Right, because this is hard for  _ you _ . You’re the one who's really suffering here,” sneered Felicity.

“I’m so sorry Felicity. I really am. But I promise you, you won’t be getting any answers from me. And if you ever did get the answers - you might not like what you find,” said Oliver gravely, hoping it would stop her from asking any more questions. But he should’ve known better, Felicity was nothing if not persistent.

“So you not telling me is what - protecting me?” she asked in disbelief.

“Yes. Now I am done talking about this. We’re almost in the town square, and we don’t want to cause a scene, so let’s just get the laptop charger, and get out,” said Oliver firmly.

Felicity snarled, wishing she could roundhouse kick him in the head, but said nothing in response. If he wasn’t going to tell her anything, fine. She would make sure to purchase her own laptop while they were at the little computer store, and would dig into finding out everything she could about Oliver Queen. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh!! Did you guys like it? I hope you did! Reviews, comments, kudos, etc. literally make me the happiest girl on the planet! I'll try and update Wednesday or Thursday, and if not, I'll update it Saturday!


	6. A Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FIVE YEARS AGO: Flashback to Anatoly and Oliver - lots of insight on the promise he made. Oliver and Felicity can't seem to stay away from each other :)
> 
> FIVE YEARS LATER: Oliver and Felicity keep arguing, keep going back and forth, and finally a truth is revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Im so sorry about the late update, I've just had so much school work this week! This is the longest chapter yet (+10K) and I hope you do enjoy! You learn lots of fun stuff!

FIVE YEARS AGO (May 4th, 2012):   
  


For the past week or so, Felicity had been working on her program to find woman who had possibly been prostituted or sex trafficked by the Bratva. Since officially the Bratva didn’t prostitute or sex traffic women, felicity had to be very careful in digging around, and wouldn’t be able to tell anyone unless she was sure she could trust them. She started by running scans for missing women from Russia or other countries whom had later appeared in Starling or another high profile Bratva location a a few months later as prostitutes, however upon further discovery it was found out that they were trafficked. She assumed that the Bratva had kidnapped or lured them into it, and decided that she would run a program that found all the women who had mysteriously disappeared, and would alert their names to the SCPD and various police departments so that they could be taken care of and returned to safety. 

 

It was a complicated program, and it wasn’t perfect, but it was a start. There were so many missing women, mainly ages 16-22 (when they had gone missing) that she was looking for, whom had been later found as prostitutes - and not as willing prostitutes. It made her blood boil that the Bratva could be involved with something so horrible, so morbid - but she had a chance to put a stop to it. 

 

She had also found the phone numbers of the phone Alexei gave to her. She kept the real phone numbers for herself, in case she would ever need them, and gave the fake numbers to him. She didn’t know what the snitch or traitor wanted, but she was going to keep them safe. She wanted this organization to crumble to the ground. She felt bad tricking Alexei and it would probably end up making him and Oliver look bad, but she had to put her goal first. Nothing was more important.

 

She looked at her computer program, running different tests, when the first alert popped up that someone who had gone missing had appeared in National City years later. Her program had finally found someone! She looked at the date that a woman named Anna had gone missing, March 15th, 1994. The date wigged Felicity out - it was her birthday. It was weird to think a woman had been sold and trafficked the day she was born. Unfortunately, the woman wasn’t taken into custody, and wasn’t seen since.  Felicity swore to herself that this would be the first woman she rescued. And she wouldn’t stop until every single woman had been freed.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oliver and Alexei’s plans had taken a hit ever since Felicity had returned the phone numbers to them. They had hoped the numbers would let them know whom Victor was contacting, and would let them find out the truth, but the numbers had all drawn a blank. Alexei assumed that Victor had simply scrambled the numbers, but he didn’t want to ask Felicity to find out more. They both knew that she was smart, and they didn’t want her to get suspicious of anything. It was clear to them she didn’t like Victor, but she obviously had a loyalty to Donna and the Bratva.

 

Oliver had found the past week particularly difficult. After he had kissed Felicity, it was painful to be in the same room with her without kissing her again. He wanted to be with her so badly it hurt, but he knew that it could never happen. He had to think of Anatoly, of the promise that he made him.

 

He still remembered that day all too well. He was sure he would never forget it.

 

_ “Oliver, we have to make a trip back to Starling. I promise no one will know that you have returned - that you are alive, but it is necessary that we return in order to stop her. Something I have long since suspected about Donna I have now confirmed to be true. Roy, Sara, and Alexei will be attending as well.  Promise me, that no matter what happens, you will keep Felicity safe,” said Anatoly before handing Oliver a bag.  _

 

_ Oliver nodded and took the bag. He wasn’t ready to go back to Starling, to see Thea and his mother, but he had no choice. Anatoly was asking, and he already owed him everything and more. This one small visit couldn’t be so bad.  _

 

_ “Why are we going back?” _

 

_ “There are things you must know about me Oliver. Things that I am not proud of, things that may make you look at me differently. But I cannot tell you these things right now, we only have so much time. What you must know is that someone is trying to kill me. I’ve suspected it now for the past four months during my stay here, but last week’s incident only confirmed it. His name is Victor Petrov. He is complete scum. But he is trying to kill me. And I have to return to Starling to stop the person who put him up to it, my wife, Donna Smoak.” _

 

_ “Why would your wife want to kill you?” _

 

_ “She has her reasons, some of them legitimate, some of them, not so much. Either way we have to go back to get my daughter before she is harmed, and to take care of Donna. Donna has to live - I need to find out some information from her, so I need her to be questioned. Do not let anyone know who you are, your identity is still being kept a secret to protect you. Is this clear?” _

 

_ “Yes.” _

 

_ “Good, now let’s go. You’ll be riding the private jet with Roy, Sara and Alexei in an a hour. They’ll fill you in on the rest of the plan. Your job is to protect my daughter at all costs. I will fly back to Starling publicly around the same time, and we will meet in the mansion’s private section twenty four hours from now,” he said as he patted Oliver on the back before grabbing his own bag and opening the door to leave, “have a good flight.” _

 

_ Oliver watched him go, before gathering his own things and walking to the airfield. He wanted to know more. Why would Donna want to kill him? What was Anatoly doing in returning to Starling so publicly?  _

 

_ A day later they were all reconvened in one of the private sections of the mansion. Roy, Sara, Alexei and Oliver were all sitting around a table waiting for Anatoly to come join them. _

 

_ “What do you think this is all about?” asked Sara, tapping her hand against the table. _

 

_ “Who knows? Boss never tells us much anyway,” replied Roy. _

 

_ “He didn’t tell you all the much either?” asked Oliver. _

 

_ “You all owe him your life. He saved me from a man trying to murder me when I was eleven. And he has saved each and every one of you. We are not here to question him or ask why he does things. We stand by him no matter what and we don’t ask questions,” said Alexei harshly. He was the youngest of them all, but he had spent the most time with Anatoly.  _

 

_ They spent the rest of their time waiting their in silence, when Anatoly burst into the room, his face distraught. _

 

_ “We must get out of here immediately. Things are worse than I suspected. A man I trusted, Vladimir, has betrayed me, and Donna knows everything. I know I haven’t explained anything to all of you yet, but read the letters I left you - they are back in Russia. I may not have much time left. You all have to get out of here  and take the information in these files - this information is essential. Oliver, come with me and protect my daughter,” said Anatoly as he placed the files down on the table. _

 

_ Everyone immediately got up, rushing to gather the files, as Oliver followed Anatoly through the doors. _

 

_ “What’s the plan?” asked Oliver as rushed after Anatoly. _

 

_ “Find Felicity. Victor is in the house, and he knows I’m here. It seems as though the hit Donna put out on me won’t apply to her, but I won’t let her get hurt. Donna will treat her horribly if she is left, and I won’t put her through that. She is my light in the dark. I cannot lose her.” _

 

_ “Where is she?” _

 

_ “In her room. We have to get there quickly, and I don’t know where Victor is. If he finds us he will kill me.” _

 

_ “I can protect you.” _

 

_ “Not from him. Not yet. Maybe one day you will be strong enough. But not today. Our best chance is to outrun this thing. Victor Petrov never met a man he couldn't kill. I am no exception.” _

 

_ They ran up the stairs exiting the private wing of the mansion before making their way down the hallway. There were several rooms they had to weave their way in and out of before they had made it to the private section.  _

 

_ “Why does Donna want you dead?” asked Oliver, unable to hold in the question, as they stopped in the corner of the hallway.  _

 

_ Anatoly looked at Oliver, realizing he couldn’t put it off any longer. He stilled his movements, and looked directly at Oliver as he spoke. _

 

_ “Years ago, I had an affair with a young maid, her name was Anna. I wasn’t a good man back then, and I cheated on Donna repeatedly. But then, Anna got pregnant, and I knew that I was in trouble. If the Bratva were to find out about my infidelity, especially when the values of family and loyalty mean so much here, it would risk everything. I asked Donna to pretend like she was pregnant and that the daughter would be hers. Donna agreed, not wanting to risk her position either. At the time, I didn’t know this, but the day Felicity was born, Donna sold Anna into a prostitution ring. One of the secret ones that many do not know about, except for a few high ranking officials in order to protect the business. Recently, I discovered that Anna had been sold and I planned to find her, return to Starling and banish Donna. I confessed this all to a trusted individual of mine, Vladimir. I had no idea that Vladimir was sleeping with Donna, or that he would tell her everything, and a week later, Donna hired Victor to kill me. No matter what, you have to find Anna, you have to free her. You have to stop Victor and Donna. And you  _ **_must_ ** _ protect Felicity. Can you promise me you will do this Oliver? The letter will explain more.” _

 

_ “I swear to you, I will spend my last breath honoring you. I will do whatever you need me to - I promise,” said Oliver firmly.  _

 

_ “Come, we must get to the private wing, I doubt that we have enough time. The files I got are essential to finding Anna, they also have proof - of everything. Make sure Roy, Sara, and Alexei leave with them in case anything happens to me,” said Anatoly as they continued to move through the house. _

 

_ A few minutes later they had made it to Felicity’s room. _

 

_ “Stay outside, I will get her,” said Anatoly as he pushed into the room. _

 

_ Oliver kept watch outside the room, his gun out, checking every angle for Victor. He waited patiently for several minutes, wondering what was taking Anatoly so long. But then he heard it.  A single shot followed by a crash. Oliver pushed open the doors immediately,  looking around the room, to see Anatoly lying on the ground, blood pouring out of him. _

 

_ He ran to him, a tear falling down his cheek as he realized his mentor would not make it. That type of blood loss - nobody survived that. _

 

_ “Oliver… read the letter - it will explain how to do it. Promise me,” croaked Anatoly. _

 

_ “I promise you,” said Oliver, tears streaming down his cheeks.  _

 

_ “Protect her,” said Anatoly as he took his last breath. Oliver couldn’t believe it. Anatoly was dead. He would do right by him, he would keep his promise , but first he had to find Felicity. She wasn’t in the room when he had first scanned it, but he was certain there was only one bullet shot. _

 

_ Suddenly Roy burst into the room, “we have to go! People are on their way, and they can’t know who you are. Come on,” he said hurriedly with Oliver. _

 

_ “We have to find the girl, his daughter - Felicity. We have to keep her safe,” said Oliver. _

 

_ “Sara jumped through the window and took her out of the room by jumping out the window. They’re safe. Anatoly knew Victor wouldn’t stop so he let himself be shot in order to keep her safe,” said Roy grimly, before pulling Oliver through the door and getting him to run out of the house with him _

 

_ “Why wouldn’t Anatoly tell us that? Why did he have to leave it in the files?”  _

 

_ “Because he knew we would never let him do that. Speaking of, the files are in the car, but we can’t go back to it now that it’s surrounded. We have to leave on foot,” said Roy as they rushed through the mansion. _

 

_ “Anatoly said the files were essential - I have to go back!” _

 

_ “No. We have no choice. We will find another way, but we have to leave now.” _

 

_ “Roy, I promised Anatoly and-” _

 

_ “We all promised! But we have to stay alive long enough to fulfill the promise.” _

 

_ “What about Felicity? How do we keep her safe?” _ __  
_  
_ __ “Sara will stay here for now and keep watch over her. As for us - we have to find the letters back home and do as he says.”

 

_ Oliver and Roy ran through the bushes in the back until they made it through a clearing that made it to a road. They kept running until they found a sign of civilization. _

 

_ Three days later Oliver was back in Russia, staring down at the letter. A single tear slipped down his cheek as he re-read the letter. He would do as Anatoly said. _

 

Oliver shook his head, trying to shake the memory from his thoughts. Some nights, his nightmares were that same moment - Anatoly dying - over and over. He got up from his seat and paced around. He should’ve grabbed those files, if he had, maybe they would’ve been able to find Anna by now. 

 

Oliver wanted to talk to Felicity about all of this, to let her know, but Anatoly’s last promise “protect her” radiated in his mind. It would be too dangerous for Felicity to dig into this - the last person who did ended up dying. Donna Smoak was a ruthless woman, and she would kill anyone if they ever found out. 

 

Oliver decided he needed to go for a walk and made his way downstairs towards the porch that led to the backyard. On the porch he saw Felicity, busily typing away at her laptop. He couldn’t help but smile looking at her. He knew he should leave her to herself, but he had to say hi to her.

 

“Hi,” said Oliver

 

Felicity looked up before flinching slightly, “Oh hi, Oliver, you scared me,” she said as she let out a breath.

 

“My apologies,” he said while smirking.

 

“What are you doing out here?” she asked.

 

“I was about to go for a walk. Care to join me?”

 

Felicity hesitated for a moment. She wanted to walk with him, but she also really wanted to kiss him, and she wasn’t sure if she could help herself.

 

“Sure,” she said, willing herself not to give into that impulse.

 

They walked silently down the steps, neither of them knowing what to say, until Oliver broke the silence.

 

“What have you been up to the past week?”

 

“Oh just working on some different programs and training with Diggle. What about you?”   
  


“Alexei and I have been working on the phone numbers you gave us.”

 

“Have they been helpful?”   
  


“Uh - yeah, yeah I’m sure we will come up with something.”

 

Oliver and Felicity made their way to the rose bushes, neither of them knowing what to say. As they walked their hands brushed side by side and Felicity swore she felt sparks. 

 

Eventually they had looped their way around the gardens several times, and were somewhere in the middle.

 

“I’ve think we’ve walked like eighteen miles,” said Felicity, a little out of breath.

 

“I’m pretty sure we’ve only walked two,” said Oliver smirking, “i can carry you if you’d like.”   
  


“Oh - no, I’m okay, but thanks. The house isn’t too far away,” she said laughing slightly.

 

Oliver simply looked at her once before stopping them in their tracks and turning her to him. He didn’t know what he was doing, but the silence, the tension - it was all getting to him. He really wanted to kiss her.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Not sure exactly,” said Oliver as he leaned down a little, his face close enough that Felicity could reach 

 

“Last time you were this close to me we were kissing,” she replied as she tilted her head up, narrowing the distance. 

 

“I know.”

 

“It was supposed to be the last kiss we had.”

 

“It was.”

 

Oliver leaned in, about to kiss her, when his phone buzzed. “Excuse me,” he said as he reached for his phone in the back pocket.

 

“Hello?” he asked.

 

“Oliver, we have to send this in. Come back to your room, I’m there waiting” said Alexei before hanging up. 

 

Oliver sighed reluctantly, before pulling away from Felicity. He really wanted to kiss her again. But he had to go.

 

“Maybe it was a good thing he called,” said Felicity, a smile on her face.

 

“I seriously doubt that.”

 

“Yeah… so do I,” she joked, before tugging on his arm, getting him to walk towards the house. 

 

Before they entered the house through the porch, Oliver stopped her, and turned her to face him once more.

 

“I can’t seem to stay away from you.”

 

“Me either.”

 

“Would you - would you like to go to dinner with me? I know that we’ve talked about all the reasons it can’t work and why we shouldn’t - but I really just want to give this a shot - give us a shot,” he asked nervously, not knowing how she’d respond. He knew it went against everything that he was supposed to do, that it was wrong, that he would have to lie - but he couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t stay away. He would still do right by Anatoly - but maybe he could be with her at the same time. He had to give it a try - he was in love with her, and there was no way that was going to change.

 

“I’d love to,” she said, a blush creeping up on her face.q

 

“Good, I’ll meet you downstairs at seven?”

 

“Sounds good.”

 

Oliver opened the door to the porch for them and they both walked inside. Felicity made her way back to her laptop, giving him one last smile, before he exited and made his way back to the bedroom. 

 

“We have to alert the SCPD about the new deal going on in the glades. If we deliver the tip today, they’ll have enough time to stop it,” said Alexei as Oliver entered the room.

 

“I’ll arrange a carrier for tonight. I have an alibi - I’ll be at dinner, what’s yours?” asked Oliver, knowing that him and Alexei  _ always _ had to plan alibi’s incase of anything.

 

“I’ll be with the bastard. He wants me to help run his drug deals with the cartel - which means that he is trusting me more. By the time he leaves, we will be able to destroy him,” said Alexei smirking.

 

“Good. How about the numbers? Anything new on them? We need to find out who he arranges the prostitutes with, and we need the number of whom he called to find it,” said Oliver sternly. Everything relied on those numbers - it was the only way to find Anna. 

 

“Nothing so far.  I sent the numbers to Roy and Sara, but they couldn’t find any leads. They have no idea where Anna is either.”

 

“Shit. There has to be another way.”

 

“If we stick to the plan, it will all work out. There is more than one way.”

 

“I should've gone back for the files - we would’ve destroyed him by now.”

 

“Anatoly’s plan was supposed to take time - he wanted to corrode the Bratva. You and me already spent seven years doing that in Russia. Now it’s time to destroy the two people he wanted to burn. We will make them pay.”

 

Oliver nodded his head. He knew the plan Anatoly called for was long, and that it would take time, a lot of time - but he just wanted revenge already. Anatoly deserved to be honored, and Felicity deserved her real mother. The way Donna treated her made his blood boil. The only thought that calmed him was that him and Alexei would complete their plan - and Donna would pay for her actions.

 

“What’s going on with you and his daughter?” asked Alexei, his voice breaking Oliver out of his thoughts.

 

“I care about her. I tried to stay away - but she, she needs someone. And I need her,” said Oliver honestly.

 

“I’m not judging you Oliver. I think Anatoly would be thrilled, but you can’t ever tell her - any of it. Not until it’s all over. And even then, there are things she won’t be able to know,” warned Alexei.

 

“I know that! I just - I can’t stay away from her.”

 

“So you love her,” stated Alexei. It wasn’t a question. Alexei had known him long enough to know that this was love.

 

“That’s not important. I won’t tell her anything - you know I will always put Anatoly’s promise first.”

 

“For now.”

 

“Forever,” stated Oliver before walking out of the room. 

 

He needed to clear his head. His thoughts were jumbled and he couldn’t seem to think straight. She deserved to know about all of this - to be let in the truth, but if she knew the extent of everything, she could put her life in serious danger.

 

He walked back down towards the porch, to find Felicity still sitting there, typing on her laptop. Just looking at her calmed his nerves. He wasn’t sure how that was possible, but he knew it to be true. 

 

“What are you working on?” he asked, causing her to look up from the computer screen.

 

“Uh, just you know, coding and stuff,” she said nonchalantly, “back so soon?”

 

“Couldn’t seem to stay away,” he said with a wink causing Felicity to flush.

 

“You know it’s not fair of you to do that,” she said waving her hand up and down at him.

 

“Fair of me to do what?” he said knowingly.

 

“To wink, or to be shirtless, or any flirting. Not fair,” she muttered, a blush on her face.

 

“I’ve never liked playing fair,” he said as he moved closer to her, kneeling down so that his face was right next to hers.

 

“Yeah,” she said breathily, “me neither.”

 

Oliver leaned forward and captured her lips, pulling her body towards his. His hands cupped her face as his tongue battled with hers. He started to suck against her lip causing her to moan, before running his tongue along the inside of her mouth. He then pulled back slightly, moving his lips to the corner of his, placing featherlight kisses, and moving them down her jaw, all the way down to her lips.

 

“So. Fucking. Sexy,” he muttered in between kisses. 

 

“What’s so sexy?” she asked breathily, barely able to form a coherent thought at this moment. 

 

“You. Just you,” he said as he moved his lips up and kisses hers again. This time he kissed her more slowly. He gently began to nibble on her lower lip, before running his tongue around the spot he had bit. He then ran his tongue inside her mouth again, controlling the kiss by tilting her head downwards. After a minute, he pulled back, breathing heavily.

 

“That just gets better each and every time,” he muttered.

 

“Yeah,” she replied, leaning her forehead against his. 

 

Suddenly Felicity’s phone dinged, causing her to look down at it, before she spoke, “crap, it’s Donna. I’ll be back in a minute.” She got up quickly and walked away, leaving Oliver kneeling there.

 

Oliver huffed out a sigh, before turning his attention to her computer. In all honesty, he hadn’t meant to spy on whatever he was doing, but the title of the program she was running on her computer caught his attention. The top of the screen read ‘Missing.women.Bratva.xx/numeric” and underneath was a list of dates and women’s names. The first one on the list was a name that could not be a coincidence - Anna.

 

Shit. What the fuck did he just read? How the hell did Felicity know about any of this? He had to get her to stop using this program, it was far too dangerous. Felicity was working on something that was going to get him killed, and he wouldn’t let it happen. He knew just how to stop it, even if it would break her trust in him if she was to ever find out. He pulled out his phone and texted Alexei, telling him what to do. Tonight when him and Felicity were at dinner, Alexei would pull the program off the computer, and then break the laptop somehow, erasing all the data.

 

Oliver figured she had probably worked extremely hard trying to put that code together, but there was no way in hell she was finding out about this. Not only had Anatoly demanded it, but the last person who looked into Anna was Anatoly - and he knew how that had ended. Felicity was walking into a deathtrap. Donna Smoak didn’t mess around, and she wouldn’t have any hesitation in killing Felicity if need be. Oliver swore to himself that he wouldn’t let that happen, that no matter what, she would be safe.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

FIVE YEARS LATER (March 14th, 2017):   
  


 

It had been a week, and Felicity had still gotten nothing off of Cooper’s laptop. It was almost impossible to break into. In addition, Oliver hadn’t let her buy another laptop, saying it was “too risky” and despite fierce protests, she finally relented. This meant she had been unable to find out anymore about whatever the hell happened four years ago, and she was frustrated. She had spent every waking moment not spent arguing with Oliver working on cracking in, and there was still no way. Oliver’s shoulder was still recovering, but he was able to move it more, and the swelling was almost gone. Felicity had been adamant about tending to it, despite her anger, and due to her care there were almost no lasting side effects since his fever. 

 

Oliver walked into the living room, holding a plate out with a sandwich on it for her. Felicity simply stared at him before returning to her work.

 

“Just eat Felicity, please,” said Oliver, exasperated. She had been stubborn the entire week, and he was growing weary. He held out the plate for her, but she didn’t take it, simply ignoring him.

 

“Felicity!” he said loudly, his anger bubbling.

 

“What?” she asked, finally looking up from her computer.

 

“I know that you’re angry, and that you want to spite me, but would you please just eat. You haven’t been eating enough, and you’ve lost too much weight. There’s no point in me trying to stop Victor from killing you if you starve yourself to death.”

 

“I ate this morning. Besides, I’ve lost my appetite,” she replied, before turning back to her laptop. She knew she was being difficult, but she wasn’t going to give in until he told her the truth. He  _ owed _ her the truth. And she was going to get it out of him.

 

Oliver let out a sigh, before placing the plate on the coffee table and walking outside. He needed to call Roy and Sara and find out what they had discovered.

 

“Roy? Is that you?” Oliver asked once the phone call was picked up.

 

“I’m here. Not much news except that Victor thinks you’re dead - which is good. The timing of Alexei’s death is suspicious and I’m beginning to agree with him, someone else knows,” said Roy gravely.

 

“Not possible. The only people who know are me, you, and Sara. And it will stay that way. But Felicity is asking a lot of questions, and I’m not sure how long she will be willing to trust me.”

 

“You have to make her. Just tell her that you killed Donna because she was trying to kill her. It’s not perfect - and it will open up the door to more questions, but maybe she won’t hate you as much.”

 

“I don’t know,” Oliver sighed, “if I tell her that, I’m going to want to tell her everything. She’s - she’s stubborn. I just hope that she will trust me long enough to let me keep her alive. Are you and Sara and closer to destroying him? Have you found the files?”

 

“No trace of them so far. Alexei was onto something when he died, and we have no idea what it was,” said Roy, pausing for a moment. “How is Felicity doing with the laptop? If she proves what Victor did with the Bratva, the Bratva will kill him for treason, and that will be at least one problem out of our hair - of course there still are others we have to deal with.”

 

“She hasn’t been able to get into it yet. I know that she will break it, it’s just a matter of time. In the meantime, I’ll try and find out what Alexei had been figuring out.”   
  


“How do you plan on finding that out?”

 

“Not sure yet. I may have to go back to Starling, if so, you’ll have to stay with Felicity. If we find out what he knows, we might be able to stop Victor, save her, and then, well, you know the rest.”

 

“Yeah. It’s been twelve years in the making. I gotta go, but call me later,” said Roy before hanging up the phone. 

 

Oliver sighed to himself. He wanted to tell her so badly. He didn’t agree with not telling her, but he would never break his promise. Besides, telling her would put her in far too much danger, and she was already in too much danger. It would be selfish of him to tell her, because it would benefit him far more than it would benefit her. But her trust was loosening again, taking that bullet only did so much, and it wouldn’t be long before she was madder than before. He didn’t know what to do with this situation anymore. He was lost.

 

He walked back into the cottage, noticing Felicity wasn’t in the living room.

 

“Felicity?” he called out. No answer. He quickly searched the upstairs, but she was nowhere to be found. Where the fuck could she have gone? 

 

He went outside, looking around, but she was nowhere to be found.

 

“Felicity!” he yelled loudly, the panic in his voice evident.

 

A few moments later Felicity popped out from behind one of the bushes, “I’m here. Relax.”

 

“What the hell were you doing out here?” said Oliver angrily as he moved towards her in a few strides and gripped her arms.

 

“Going out for a stroll,” she said smirking.

 

“This isn’t a joke, Felicity. Your life - it’s not a joke. So answer me, what the hell were you doing out here?” gritted out Oliver.

 

“Trying to eavesdrop on your conversation. Unfortunately, I didn’t hear anything because your voice is too low and you grunt too much.”

 

Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand, the other still clutching her firmly, before looking down at her and softening his eyes. “I am sorry Felicity. I really am. I know this is hard for you and - “

 

“Save it Oliver. I’ve heard this speech before. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to work on cracking the password on Cooper’s laptop,” she said as she tried to pull away from his grasp, but he wouldn’t let her.

 

“Let me go Oliver,” she said threateningly. 

 

“No.”

 

“Why not?” she challenged.

 

“Because I need you to stop doubting me, to trust that I have your best interests at heart. To trust that I am doing everything it takes to keep you safe, and by you ‘defying’ me in not eating to irritate me or in running outside to eavesdrop, you’re only hurting yourself. So please… just cooperate with me. It will all be over once we free you from Victor, and then you will never have to see me again,” begged Oliver.

 

“How am I supposed to trust you when you don’t tell me anything? I don’t have blind faith in you anymore - for a good reason. You think that you’re protecting me by lying to me, but all it does is hurt me. Can’t you see that?” she said, her voice frail, trying to hold back tears.

 

“I would rather hurt you than have you die Felicity. I hate that I hurt you, believe me, I hate that I can’t tell you. But I can’t.”

 

“No! That isn’t fair! Just tell me!” she begged, hoping that this time it would be different. But of course it wasn’t.

 

Oliver stood there for a minute, his eyes sad, as he looked at her. There was nothing he could say to her, nothing that wouldn’t just make it worse, and he was only hurting her by having this same conversation once more. She was so tired, so exhausted, and he hated seeing her like this, so he decided to do the only thing that could help her in the moment. 

 

Oliver said nothing as he tugged her towards the cottage, his hand moving to the small of her back, his eyes downcast and unable to look at hers. Felicity didn’t have the energy to fight him, and given her recent lack of eating, there was no way she would even be able to get one good kick in. She was just too exhausted.

 

Oliver pulled her upstairs, telling her to “sleep” before leaving the room and allowing her to change. She did believe him, believe that whatever he was doing it was for safety, but that didn’t erase all of it. Nothing could erase it. 

 

Felicity grabbed his spare shirt that she had been using as her pajamas and changed into it. Every time she wore it, something swirled inside of her. The shirt, for some reason, made her feel safe, made her feel like she was home. She didn’t like to put much thought into it, so she slipped it on before making her way to the bed and closing her eyes. 

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Felicity woke up, looking through the windows to see that it was dark, realizing that she must have slept through most of the day. She heard Oliver in the bathroom showering, as she made her way out of the room and padded into the kitchen. She really was very hungry, and would eat anything, unfortunately, she was shit at cooking. 

 

She opened up the fridge, hoping Oliver had some leftovers, and luckily there was a container with what looked like shrimp linguine. Oliver really was a master at cooking, and Felicity had never been more grateful. She opened the container and emptied the contents onto the pan, aiming to heat it up. 

 

She turned the heat on as high as it could go, figuring it would heat up faster, before exiting the room to find the laptop. She picked it up off the couch, getting immersed in trying to crack the code, when she suddenly sniffed smoke. 

 

She ran into the kitchen to find smoke everywhere. The pasta had completely blackened on the pan and the fumes were everywhere. She immediately turned off the stove and started fanning a towel while simultaneously opening the window.

 

Oliver ran down the stairs a moment later, wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and nothing else, his hair still wet from the shower.

 

“What happened in here?” he asked smirking, before running his eyes up and down her figure. She was only wearing his shirt, and she suddenly felt very exposed. 

 

“I tried to heat up the food and it just burned. I think the stove is broken or something,” she muttered

 

“That’s what happens when you leave the stove on when you go into another room.”   
  


“How did you know I left the room?” she asked surprised.

 

“Because I know you. And you’re too impatient to wait for the food to cook, so you always leave and end up burning it,” he said simply, before moving to throw the burnt pasta in the trash, and grabbing some ingredients from the fridge.

 

“Oh,” she replied, feeling a little flustered. She hated how well he knew her, how easily he could read her. “What are you doing?” she asked as he buttered the pan.

 

“Making you dinner.”

 

“Oh, you don’t have to,” she replied dumbly, eyeing his abs. It was hard not to stare. And it was especially hard not to stare when he would cook for her shirtless. That just wasn’t fair. 

 

“I don’t mind. Besides, I’d rather make it than run the risk of you burning the house down,” he replied, the smirk returning to his face.

 

Felicity couldn’t help but smile at that. She left the room to work on the laptop, getting immersed in the code once more, when a half an hour later she smelled something delicious cooking. She walked into the kitchen to see Oliver plating some food for her, before turning to face her, in all of his shirtless glory. Felicity made a mental note to herself to buy more shirts for him. He needed to be clothed at all times.

 

“Here,” he said handing her a plate full of delicious looking food. 

 

“Thanks,” replied Felicity, as she took a seat at the small table. A minute later Oliver had served himself, and was sitting down in front of her. Felicity didn’t know what to say or what to do, because it seemed as if no matter what she did, he wouldn’t tell her the truth.

 

The only thing that had worked was when she had threatened to call Victor, and he had let her come to Central City with him. She knew it was a low blow, but maybe if she did it again in a few days he would finally relent. 

 

“What are you thinking about?” asked Oliver, his voice breaking her out of her thoughts.

 

“How I can blackmail you to get me to tell me the truth,” she said honestly, hoping that would trigger him.

 

“Felicity you won’t be getting any answers from me. Just eat your food,” he said exasperated.

 

Felicity didn’t have the energy to argue with him right now, but she promised herself she would later. She turned her attention to the food, which was pretty damn delicious, and resumed eating. God, she hated how he had been winning all of their fights recently, how easily she was giving in, but that was going to change. And soon. She was going to find out the truth, and there was nothing he could do to stop her. 

 

She finished her meal and got up, noticing how his stare found her legs. She did her best not to blush, hating how easily she was affected by him, and went to work on the laptop.

 

A few hours later, Felicity had once again drifted off. She woke up slightly to the feeling of movement, and opened one of her eyes to see that Oliver was carrying her up the stairs into the room. She wanted to object, but she was so damn tired she didn’t have the energy. She leaned her head onto his hard, shirtless, chest and let out a sigh.

 

Oliver placed her gently on the bed, placing the lightest of kisses on her forehead and leaving the room. She opened her eyes to see him grabbing a gun from the top of the dresser, after slipping on a dark black shirt. Where could he be going? Felicity walked to the window, to see him walking out to the car a few minutes later. He was on the phone, nodding his head, before getting in the car and driving.

 

Now would be the time to look through his things. She went to the dresser, rifling through all of his things, only finding clothes, guns, and burners. She kept flipping through all of his things, hoping to find something, but there was nothing out of order.

 

She pushed his things back into the drawers, not carrying that it had been obvious she had looked through his things, when a burner dropped on the ground. The back of the phone cracked, and Felicity saw a small piece of paper sticking out of it. On the paper was a phone number, then a four digit code. She didn’t recognize the number, and had no idea where that area code was from. 

 

Felicity picked up another burner before dialing that number. It rang a few times before beeping twice. Felicity guessed that it meant she should enter the code, so she did and pressed pound. A moment later the phone resumed its ringing. Who did this number lead to?

 

The number ringed once more, before another long beep. She figured it was probably another code, one that she didn’t know. After a minute, the phone call hung up, and Felicity knew she had lost her chance. Whomever Oliver was calling had went through a lot of trouble to protect themselves, and that made it all the more suspicious. 

 

She decided to start folding the clothes and placing them back in the drawers, hoping Oliver wouldn’t notice, before placing the guns and burners in the same place as before. As for the cracked phone, Felicity had to figure out a way to put it back together.

 

She sat there for sometime, trying to slip the paper back in through the crack, and somehow fix it, when she hear someone clear their throat. Felicity looked up to see Oliver staring at her, an angry look in his eyes, before stalking towards her and ripping the phone and piece of paper from her hands.

 

“What the hell do you think you were doing? Are you trying to get yourself killed?” he shouted, not being able to contain his anger.

 

“I was trying to find out something! And I did. I know exactly who you’ve been calling,” she lied, hoping he wouldn’t call her bluff.

 

Oliver simply let out a small laugh, before taking the number and ripping it to shreds. He then placed the broken burner on the dresser, before lifting her up off the ground and carrying her to the bed.

 

“You’re a terrible liar Felicity. And stop trying to goad me, it won’t work out well for you. Now, get some rest,” he said sternly, before turning and walking towards the dresser to take off his shirt. 

 

Just who the fuck did he think he was? How dare  _ he _ be mad at her? He wasn’t the one in this situation who got to be mad!

 

“How dare you?” she asked, getting up off the bed and stalking after him. Oliver turned to face her, the distance between them almost non-existent.

 

“How dare I what? Save your life?” he replied angrily.

 

“I’m pretty sure that  _ I  _ was the one who saved your life in Central City! And we haven’t seen any threats here in Ivy Town because  _ I  _ took us here. As far as I’m concerned, I’ve been doing just fine on my own,” she gritted out, knowing that he had in fact saved her, but wanting him to understand she didn’t need anyone to save her. She just needed the truth.

 

His face softened, and he put his hands on her sides, holding her. He didn’t say anything, he just stood there, holding them, in a sort of half hug before pulling back, and moving his hand to cup her face. Felicity was so shocked by his actions she didn’t speak.

 

“Felicity,” he spoke softly, his hand still cupping her face, “what you did tonight was dangerous. Every time you try to find out more, you only put your life at risk. Please, I don’t know how to get you to trust me, but please just… try. You always saw the good in me, always brought it out in me. Can you do that for me one more time?” he begged.

 

For a moment Felicity almost gave in. She almost leaned into him and let his soothing voice calm her. But those words, “you always saw the good in me”, they couldn’t apply anymore.

 

“No Oliver I can’t,” she said, her voice soft, barely able to get out the words, “you killed my mom. You lied to me. You’re still lying. I can’t see the good in that. And I can’t stop trying to find out more, I can’t. I will find out the truth.”

 

“I am so incredibly sorry Felicity,” he said bringing her face into his chest, effectively holding her in an embrace. His lips bent down to kiss her forehead, stilling there for what felt like a minute.

 

Felicity had no idea why her brain just shut off when he did things like that. When his voice would go all soft, and his eyes would sadden. She really wanted to hate him, but that was becoming more and more impossible with each day - in fact she felt the complete opposite of hate, despite her best interests. She knew, now more than ever, that there was more to the day Donna died, and that there was more to Victor trying to kill her.  Despite everything, despite all that had happened, Oliver was one of the very few people who made her feel loved, made her feel safe. And in his arms, she felt safe. 

 

Oliver lifted her, carrying her bridal style, before sitting down on the bed, and laying them both down. Felicity wanted more than anything to curl up to him, to just share his warmth and be safe, and it was as if he knew that.

 

Oliver laid on his back, with Felicity curled around him, her head on his shoulder. He wanted to cure her of all the pain that she was feeling, and he knew that if he could just hold on for a few more months - till they eliminated the threat, she would be able to know everything. 

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Three weeks later, Felicity had finally gotten into Cooper’s laptop. Unfortunately there were hundreds of files on it, and each had their own encryption. It was taking Felicity forever to break into each one, and she was still spending all her time on it.

 

Things between her and Oliver were somewhat better. For some reason, she had stopped arguing with him. She didn’t know if it was her starting to trust him - despite her better judgment, or just the fact that arguing was getting her nowhere, but whatever it was, they didn’t fight.

 

In fact, things between them had become almost pleasant. They slept in the same bed, neither of them saying anything when Felicity curled up to him, and they ate their meals together. Oliver spent most of his time on the phone, pacing around, and scouting the area for any sign of Bratva.

 

However, the calm that had settled before them all came crashing down soon enough.

 

Felicity walked down the stairs that morning, waking up to find Oliver gone. She didn’t see him in the kitchen or living room, so she went outside to see his back turned to her, angrily shouting to the phone.

 

“What the fuck do you mean by that Roy? How the hell is Victor not dead yet?” he shouted.

 

Felicity didn’t hear what Roy said, but heard Oliver shout one more time,

 

“I’ve gotten her to trust me for now. But she is going to want to know the truth, and you know damn well I made a promise not to tell her. I won’t break that promise. Now figure things out, because every day we spend here, is another day the Bratva gets closer to finding us,” he huffed out angrily, before hanging up and turning around to see Felicity watching him.

 

Felicity didn’t know what he meant by that, didn’t know what it meant, but she found her anger that had previously calmed down, bubbling to the surface.

 

“What was that about?” she asked, her voice annoyed.

 

“We went over this. Don’t eavesdrop,” he growled, before stalking towards her.

 

“I don’t take orders. Especially not from you. Also, it’s not eavesdropping if you’re shouting loud enough for the whole street to hear.”

 

“Get. Inside. Now,” said Oliver, in a voice so low she could barely hear it. Whatever he had heard on that phone call had freaked him out, and he was in no mood to argue.

 

“What happened on the call?” she asked, her voice softer.

 

“Just get inside. Please Felicity,” his voice somewhat lighter.

 

“I’m tired of not knowing!” I’ve trusted you and done as you asked for three weeks, and you still can’t tell me anything? Why not?” she begged.

 

“I appreciate that, but I still can’t tell you. Now get inside,” said Oliver harshly.

 

Something broke inside her. He still wouldn’t tell her. He was scared and angry - obviously - and he still wouldn’t tell her. It was time to play the card she had been saving in her pocket for a while. She stalked inside, going upstairs to grab a burner. She dialed Victor’s number, not pressing the call button yet, before walking down the steps, stopping halfway to see Oliver glaring at her, not sure what she was doing.

 

“Tell me the truth about Donna, or I call Victor right now,” she said harshly. She was done playing nice. Enough was enough.

 

“Put the fucking phone down. Now,” shouted Oliver as he took a step towards her.

 

“Take a step towards me, and I’ll press call,” said Felicity, stilling Oliver, “now tell me. Why did you kill Donna?”

 

“Victor’s orders,” grit out Oliver, “not put down the fucking phone Felicity.”

 

“That’s a lie and we both know it! Now you have two seconds before I call this number, and you know that even if it only rings once, Victor will track this number down. So tell me the truth,” she said angrily.

 

She could barely blink before Oliver lunged at her and through the phone to the ground. He tried to hold her still, but she kicked him in the groin before swinging a punch towards his face, knocking him down the steps slightly. She tried to move for the phone, but Oliver grabbed her, and brought her down with him, before flipping them so that he was on top of her.

 

They lay on the steps, panting, Oliver pinned on top of Felicity, holding her arms down so she couldn’t move.

 

“Why won’t you tell me? Why did you kill her?” she begged, a tear slipping from her cheek.

 

Oliver said nothing, and simply stared at her, his expression unreadable.

 

“You told me you loved me, that we were going to run away together! What changed? If you really felt that way, if you still feel that way, why shoot Donna? Our love was supposed to be more important than the Bratva, that’s what  _ you _ told me! There has to be another reason, unless it was all a lie,” she cried out.

 

“It was real and you know it,” he growled out, his face inches from her, before he got up and stalked away, causing Felicity to sit up on the stairs, as he turned his back to her.

 

“How am I supposed to just know it? You killed Donna on Victor’s orders, maybe you’re just using me as a pawn to take down Victor and move up higher in the Bratva! Because according to what you’ve told me, that seems a hell of a lot more likely than you doing all this to ‘protect me’,” she said again, causing him to turn, a pained expression on his face. 

 

“And I don’t know if I can trust you anymore. So I don’t think I’ll be needing your help anymore. I’m going to go pack my bags,” she said, moving to get up, but Oliver was already stopping her by grabbing her wrists.

 

“You’re not going anywhere,” he gritted.

 

“At some point, you’re going to have to take a call, or sleep, or pee, and I’m going to run out. And you won’t be able to stop me,” she said triumphantly. She couldn’t stay here anymore without knowing the truth - this charade had gone on long enough. 

 

Oliver said nothing, before hauling her up and walking them towards the room. She wanted to scream, to kick him, but it hadn’t ended very well for her anytime she did that, so she reluctantly allowed him to move her.  He moved them towards the bathroom, before lifting her up and sitting her down on the counter.  He grabbed a towel, wet it under the sink, and dabbed at a cut on her forehead with the towel. She hadn’t even realized that it had happened when they had fought on the stairs. 

 

“Please just tell me,” she said, tears once again slipping from her eyes, “Four years ago, I lost my mom, then I found out you shot her after telling me you loved me. And then I was alone. For four years the only person I’ve had is John, but he has a family and is barely there. I’ve been alone, and sad, and angry, and bitter, and I just want to know the truth. I’ve already lost everyone and everything, what could be so bad that you can’t tell me?”

 

Oliver looked at her, his expression pained, “Felicity, I promised someone a long time ago I could never tell you certain things, and I still can’t.”

 

“You promised my father right?” she asked, figuring that it must have been Anatoly. Oliver worked with Anatoly, and from all of the stories he told her about him when they were together, she figured it was the only logical guess.

 

“Yes,” unsure how she had figured it out, but denying it would do know good. She could tell when he lied. 

 

“He’s dead Oliver! He has been for a long time, he couldn’t have even known about you killing Donna, so would you please just tell me why you killed her. Why you thought it was important to ruin our entire relationship?”

 

“He may be dead, but I keep my promises. And I promised to protect you. As for Donna…” he said, his resolve breaking. It was clear to him that she wasn’t going to let it go, that she was on the verge of breaking. Maybe he could tell her Donna was trying to kill her, like Roy had suggested. It would hurt her, hurt her so deeply, but at this point, he wasn’t sure what was worse. And he needed her to trust him, for her sake.

 

“Please,” begged Felicity, seeing that his resolve was breaking.

 

Oliver took in a deep sigh, his hand still on her forehead dabbing her wound. He had to tell her. There was no other option at this point. He couldn’t tell her the truth, only the tip of the iceberg, but maybe it would be enough for her to trust him. Maybe.

 

“If I tell you, you have to listen to the whole thing. And you can’t ask any more questions, and you absolutely can’t threaten to call Victor or run off. Promise me.”

 

“I promise.”   
  


“I went into Donna’s room that day, four years ago, to confront her. We had a… thing that needed to be dealt with, and I wanted to talk to her face to face. When I entered the room, however, I saw her holding something in her hand, it looked like a switch. She was watching a computer screen, and she didn’t notice that I had walked in. I looked at the screen, and it was a live feed of your room, as if she was waiting for you to come in. The switch in her hand, the live feed - I put it together and -”

 

“She was going to bomb my room when I walked in,” said Felicity shakily, a tear slipping down her cheek. He cupped her cheek, catching the tear with his hand, before continuing.

 

“I pulled out my gun, hiding it behind my back, before announcing my presence and telling her to stop what she was doing, but she didn’t move her hand off the trigger. I begged her, pleaded, moving closer to her to hopefully stop her, but at that moment you - you walked into your room, and I pulled my gun out hoping to scare her, but her hand was on the trigger and it was too late and I, “ he said, tears now slipping down his own face.

 

“You shot her,” said Felicity, finishing his thought.

 

“I had no choice, I didn’t know what else to do. Immediately after I ran to your room, told you to leave - but you remember that - and I took the explosives from your room. I didn’t want to ruin the memory of your mother, so I lied to Victor and told him I had discovered she was the snitch and shot her. Victor already wanted her dead, so he decided to tell you it was an order, hoping it would lessen the blow, but I knew you would hate me. I never wanted to tell you, I never was going to tell you, but I need you to trust me now that you know.”

 

“Why did she want me dead?” she cried out, not understanding.

 

“You did nothing wrong, Felicity. Donna didn’t deserve a daughter like you,” he said, knowing that he would never be able to tell her the truth. It wasn’t his secret to tell.

 

“But why?” she cried out.

 

“I can’t tell you that Felicity. I’m sorry - I know that you need some time to cope with this, that you need to be alone, and I can give you space, as much space as you need, but I can’t let you out of my sight, so please,  _ please _ keep your promise and stop asking questions. Please,” he begged.

 

“Oliver this changes everything, I have to know! Please tell me! What did I ever do to her? Why did she hate me so much?” she said whilst crying.

 

Oliver said nothing in return, unable to look her in the eyes. A minute later, Felicity hopped off the counter and stalked off. Oliver knew she wasn’t going to run off and do anything crazy, but he followed her nonetheless.  

 

She walked out of the house, knowing that Oliver was following her, at least ten steps behind, as she walked towards the beach, which was about half a mile from their house. She needed to think, to process everything that had just happened. There were two options here. One, Oliver had been lying and told her that to get her on his side. Two, he was telling the truth.

 

He had no reason to lie. At this point, he had already convinced her to stay with him, to believe he would protect her, and he knew that she was bluffing each time he acted out. Which meant that it was true. That Donna was trying to kill her.

 

Felicity didn’t understand this. Any of this. Oliver’s admission had only made things even more complicated. Why did Donna want her dead? Why did her mom hate her so much? Ever since she could remember, the lack of care her mother had shown her was appalling. It was as if she didn’t want Felicity as her daughter. 

 

She never remembered her birthdays, never stood up for her, never showed her any love or affection. But why? What had Felicity done? All Felicity had ever wanted was for Donna to love her, and instead she had tried to kill her. 

 

Felicity began to distance herself from Donna when she got older, not knowing how to handle the hatred she saw, not understanding how a mother could hate her daughter so much. In fact, Felicity had almost stopped referring to Donna as her mother. Whenever she thought of her, or spoke of her, she called her Donna. Because she was just that - Donna. She didn’t act like a mother, didn’t love like a mother, and Felicity wanted to know  _ why _ . 

 

She knew that Donna blamed her for her father’s death, but that was something else she didn’t understand. Felicity barely remembered that night, only remembered being saved by a girl who took her out the window. 

 

It was as if her whole life was a mystery. Why did everyone have to lie? She didn’t understand any of it anymore, and she wasn’t even sure she wanted to. Why did Victor want her dead? Why not just order her to be killed four years ago? What was Oliver keeping from her? Why did Donna want her dead?

 

_ Why did Donna want her dead? _

 

That one thought stayed in Felicity’s mind as she made her way to the beach. The sun was just starting to set, and she sat down in the sand, watching the waves. 

 

_ Why did Donna want her dead? _

 

_ Why didn’t Donna love her? _

 

_ Who saved her the night her father was killed? _

 

_ What did Oliver want? _

 

She sat there for sometime, her brain hurting from all the questions. She wanted to scream, or cry, or yell, but nothing came out. She was paralyzed. 

 

Oliver watched her from afar. She sat on the sand, her knees hugged to her chest, watching the sunset. He wished he hadn’t told her - the hurt on her face was something he couldn’t make go away. He wanted to help her, to hold her and tell her it would be alright, but he couldn’t do that.

 

She deserved the truth. She deserved it more than anything. And he knew that he couldn’t tell her the rest of it, that Anatoly made him swear she would never know,  but the pain she was going through was unfair. 

 

Oliver finally made a decision to walk over to her and sit down next to her. Felicity said nothing, still silently watching the sunset. She didn’t have anything to say, and even if she did, she wasn’t able to speak. 

 

They sat there, side by side, neither of them saying anything. When the sun had set, and the sky darkened, Felicity laid her head on his shoulder, not saying anything. Oliver killed Donna. Donna tried to kill her. That was what had happened. She finally knew. But the relief she thought she would feel when she found out wasn’t there. Instead she just felt empty. Like a part of her had been lost. 

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAH did you like it? I hope there were some surprises! I absolutely love comments, kudos, reviews, etc! Let me know what you think!
> 
> I'll try and update this Wednesday or Thursday, and if not, next Saturday!


	7. Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HI GUYS IM SO SORRY ITS BEEN SO LONG!!  
> Five Years Ago: Oliver and Felicity go on a date ! And literally this entire section is mainly fluff, with a little more about Felicity's missing women program - and some really nice Oliver and Felicity moments (basically all the fluff is my apology for being so late on writing this chapter (finals) and also because i love writing them being happy)  
> Five Years Later: Felicity is struggling with the truth about Donna, and Oliver and her grow a lot closer! Lots more secrets are revealed, and I think you will all like the end of the chapter quite a bit!
> 
> FYI: now that school is out, I promise to be updating regularly (at least once a week) and I'm so sorry for the three week break!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY GUYS I KNOW ITS BEEN SO LONG AND I AM SORRY!!  
> I promise you all i am not abandoning this story, and I will be updating regularly!! I am so sorry that I wasn't updating these past three weeks, but school work and finals and life just got in the way, and I wasn't able to write! But i really hope you all enjoy this chapter, and I love each and every one of you for sticking with this story! I hope you enjoy this chapter (Its 10k words, so its a long read!)

FIVE YEARS AGO (May 4th, 2012):  


Felicity combed through her hair before pinning half of it up. She glanced one  last time in the mirror, deeming her appearance suitable. She was wearing a red dress that reached the floor, and long silver earrings.  She never really took the time to do makeup, but she was wearing a smoky eye and a bright red lipstick that made her lips pop.

Felicity picked up her handbag throwing her phone in, before making her way downstairs. Oliver was already waiting there in the foyer, looking handsome as ever. He was wearing a crisp tux with a blue tie, and had actually shaved for the date. Felicity couldn’t help but swallow as she saw him. It only took a moment before Oliver was looking at her, his jaw almost dropping at the sight.

“You look,” he began, taking a shaky breath, “perfect.”

“Thanks,” she said blushing, as she made her way over to him.

“I made us reservations at Table Salt, it was one of my favorite restaurants when I was younger,” he said smiling, before taking her hand and leading her out the door to the town car. 

“No motorcycle?” she joked.

“I thought it would be nice to ride in a car for once,” he said as he opened up the door for her.

Felicity climbed in, the blush on her face still evident. Oliver climbed in behind her, taking his hand in her own as the driver started the car. They sat together, their sides touching, as Oliver’s thumb moved over her hand. Something about the entire ride was so comfortable, so familiar. 

When they arrived at the restaurant and were sat down at a table by the hostess, Felicity was at a loss for words, it was like she forgot how to talk. 

“Nervous?” asked Oliver, who was eyeing her curiously from across the table.

 “Yeah… I don’t know why, I guess I’ve never done this before,” she admitted.

“Done what?”

 “Went on a date,” she said nervously. 

“Well, this is already the best date I’ve ever had.” replied Oliver with a wink, hoping it would relax her. 

Felicity let out a short laugh before looking at the menu as Oliver did the same. 

“How did you become a part of the Bratva?” asked Felicity, unable to keep the question from spilling from her lips, “Sorry.. That’s a heavy question for a first date, or second date, or any date really,” she said immediately after, hoping she could backtrack.

“No that’s okay,” said Oliver, huffing out a breath of air, “I built a boat. And it got me off the island that I was marooned on, but I ended up crashing into some Bratva ships off the coast of Russia. I was taken and tortured by the Bratva, until someone saved me.” 

“Who saved you?” asked Felicity curiously.

“Your father - he - he stopped his men from beating me and offered me a second chance. I owe him my life,” said Oliver sincerely, his eyes boring into her own. 

“I’m glad that he did,” said Felicity softly, the memory of her father still a sore subject for her. Anatoly was the only person who ever made her feel loved, or safe. 

“He talked about you often. He was always arranging for extra security and guards for you. I remember one night that I was in Russia, he had made a trip to Starling and had called me from there.  He was telling me about some deal he was making with the triad, but he stopped halfway through to talk about you. Apparently you were sitting on his lap earlier that day, telling him all the reasons you loved him. He had to stop talking about his deal - which was urgent might I add, because he couldn’t help but talk about you. He loved you dearly,” said Oliver truthfully, hoping he hadn’t said too much. 

Felicity took in a shaky breath, as tears brimmed her eyes. “Thank you for telling me that. After Victor came to the house, we all sort of stopped speaking about him, like it was an unspoken rule that he had enforced.” 

Oliver gave her an undecipherable look before cupping her hand with his own. “You never have to thank me Felicity. Ever.”

 Felicity beamed a smile at him, before the waiter came over asking them what they wanted to order. They each ordered their own meals before the waiter left, and it was once again just Oliver and Felicity.

“You have a sister right?” asked Felicity, having completely abandoned her brain to mouth filter apparently. 

“Yeah,” said Oliver smiling, “her name is Thea. She’s away at boarding school right now, but when she finishes tenth grade in a month I’ll get to spend some time with her.”

“What’s she like?”

 “I love her more than anything. The entire time I was away, she was one of the few people who made me want to fight to survive, to come out of the whole thing alive,” he replied sincerely. 

Felicity squeezed his hand in return, somehow at a loss for words. Their conversation tonight had been anything but first-date suitable, not that she would know, but for some reason it was better. It was like they had already learned all the little things, and now they were finally trusting each other enough to tell each other even more. All of Felicity’s defenses had slipped, she trusted him implicitly. Everytime she had a doubt, or thought he was one of Victor’s minions, he showed her the man he was, and she was in awe of that man.

“You know when I first met you, I was a little afraid of you,” admitted Felicity.

“How so?” 

“Well, you were this important new junior captain coming in, and I had heard a lot about you, about the time you had spent on the island and in Russia. I was amazed that anyone could have survived that,” said Felicity, her eyes not meeting his own. 

“I never would have survived without Anatoly,” said Oliver, before pausing for a minute, “I was a little intimidated too, you know.” 

“Yeah?”

 “Yeah. I saw you, and you were just this gorgeous, smart, talented woman, and you were my boss’s daughter. I just couldn’t seem to stay away from you.”

 "I’m glad you didn’t,” said Felicity. 

The rest of their dinner was carried out in intense conversation. They talked about everything, from Oliver’s time on the island, to Felicity’s last moments with her father. It was like all that they had kept from themselves and from everyone else had tumbled out. This wasn’t like her birthday dinner, this was different. This was them opening up some of the darkest part of themselves, wondering if it would scare the other off, when all it did was draw them in even more. 

Of course, Oliver was still holding onto a secret. And as good as it felt to let the island and lots of the things he did with the Bratva go, he still had so much he could never say. At this moment, Alexei was supposed to be copying her program and downloading it onto his laptop, and deleting it off her own. He knew she would be devastated. From the way she talked about the Bratva, and from the way she described her work, he knew that this code was finally something she was passionate about. He hated that he would be taking this away from her - but it was the only way to find Anna, to avenge Anatoly, and most importantly, to keep her safe. The last thing Oliver wanted was Donna Smoak finding out Felicity was digging into this, and he would keep her safe no matter what. There was a reason Anatoly never allowed for Felicity to be involved with any of this, and despite the fact that Oliver knew how strong and independent she was, she deserved better than to have to deal with all of this. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

In the car ride home, Felicity had fallen asleep on him, tucked into his side. Oliver couldn’t help but think how right it felt for her to lay there. It was late by the time the car had pulled in, and in not wanting to wake her, Oliver picked her up bridal style in her arms and carried her out of the car and walked through the house. She showed no signs of waking as Oliver walked them upstairs, opening the door to her room, and gently placing her down on the bed. 

When he moved to pull the covers over Felicity, she opened her eyes to see Oliver looking at her. “Did I fall asleep?” she asked groggily. 

“Yeah,” he replied as he shifted her up a little so that her head was on the pillow.

 “I had a great time, thank you for tonight. Sorry for falling asleep,” she said, fighting to keep her eyes open, even though she wondered how she could be so tired. 

“You need the sleep. And I had a great time tonight, ” replied Oliver as he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, before getting up and exiting the room. 

Oliver shut the door lightly before pulling out his phone and texting Alexei,

**Oliver: Is it done yet?**

  **Alexei: I copied the program onto my laptop and deleted it off hers. I then “spilled” a latte on her computer so she doesn’t suspect anything. Did you slip her the sleeping pills so that you can check her phone to make sure she doesn’t have a backup of the program.**  

Oliver let out a sigh of relief, knowing that Felicity would no longer be messing with that program. He had slipped her a small sedative during dessert, and although he felt bad about it, it was necessary for him to make sure. He typed a response to Alexei, letting him know what he found, 

**Oliver: Yes, and I grabbed the phone from her in the car back from dinner. There was no program on it, and I returned it to her.**

**Alexei: Good. I’ve already left to meet Roy in Central City so that we can find someone who knows how to use her program to find Anna. At this rate, we will complete Anatoly’s plan sooner than expected.**  

Oliver let out a sigh. Alexei was getting more and more ambitious, trying to speed up the plan, even though it was designed to take years. If Victor and Donna were both taken down, and especially this soon to Oliver’s arrival, it could be dangerous - especially for Felicity. He let out a steadying breath, typing a response that would hopefully remind Alexei of his duty, 

 **Oliver: Finding Anna is only one part of the plan. The destruction of Victor and Donna is supposed to take years - don’t get ahead of yourself.**  

 **Alexei: I’m pretty sure Anatoly would be grateful just to see them gone. And if Victor and Donna are taken care of, you and I can run the Bratva.**  

 **Oliver: Don’t let your ambitions cloud your judgment. We follow the plan exactly.**  

 **Alexei: Was screwing his daughter part of the plan?**  

**Oliver: Enough. We will discuss this further in the morning.**

Oliver let out a sigh, before putting his phone back in his pocket. Alexei’s ambitions were always a problem, and while he knew that he was loyal to Anatoly - and always would be, he didn’t understand the idea of a long con. There was a reason Anatoly had planned everything this way - to insure Felicity’s safety. If anything were to happen to Victor or Donna suddenly, she would become an immediate suspect and target. Anatoly did everything to _protect_ Felicity, not out of revenge, and Alexei often blurred those lines. 

Oliver walked back to his quarters, replaying the night in his head. It was amazing. He couldn’t stop thinking about the little laugh she made, or the blush that spread across her cheeks. She had looked so beautiful - well she always looked beautiful, but tonight especially.  He fell asleep to the image of Felicity smiling - something that seemed to ward off all his nightmares, and allow him a peaceful sleep.

 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Felicity woke up to the sound of Donna knocking furiously on her door. “Felicity!” she called out in a curt tone, causing Felicity to jolt out of the bed and open the door.

“Why did you sleep in your dress? Do you have any idea how much that costs?” questioned Donna as she eyes Felicity. 

“Sorry, I was tired after last night and I guess I just fell asleep. What can I do for you?” asked Felicity, knowing that Donna didn’t make visits unless she wanted something. 

“How was your date with Oliver? If you said something stupid, or said anything against Victor I will find out about it,” said Donna angrily. Donna very much wanted Oliver to be impressed with the Starling Bratva, knowing that with him as the junior captain of the branch, the Starling Bratva could become one of the most lucrative and powerful branches. 

“Oddly enough we didn’t talk about Victor - it’s almost as if the date was about us,” joked Felicity, realizing too late that Donna was not in the joking mood.

 Donna simply glared at her before huffing out a breath and turning on her heel. She left the room immediately afterwards. Despite Donna being, well _Donna_ , Felicity was still in a good mood. Last night was incredible, and she couldn’t help reliving every moment. Something about him made her feel so comfortable and safe.

Not that she needed anyone’s protection. Speaking of, she had a training session with John Diggle, in thirty minutes, and she wasn’t planning on missing it. Felicity changed out of her dress before putting on some leggings and a tank top, and made her way downstairs. 

She stopped in the kitchen to grab some water, when she noticed her laptop on the counter. She thought that she had left it over by the porch, but maybe she was wrong. Walking over to it, Felicity opened it and tried to turn it on, only to realize that there was something sticky all over the keyboard. Fuck. The laptop was soaked, in what seemed to be a latte. How had she spilled this on her keyboard? She was always so careful, especially since she only kept one copy of her program on the laptop. 

If her laptop was dead, her program would be gone, and _weeks_ of hard work would have gone down the train. This was unbelievable. All those women, all the people she had hoped to help, it was all gone. Felicity wiped away a stray tear from her face, before making her way down to the gym. She was angry, and she needed to get her aggression out. 

“Hey Felicity,” said John as he walked over to her, and began taping her hands.

 “Can we spar today?” asked Felicity wanting to punch the living shit out of something. 

“Sure. Everything okay? How was your date?” asked John, concerned.

 She had totally forgotten about her date in her anger over the laptop. “It was fine John, but my laptop is dead,” she huffed out. 

“It’s just a laptop Felicity, it can be replaced,” said John as he finished taping her hands and picked up his gloves.

“There was something on the laptop. This program that I was running, I only had one copy, and if it’s gone then it means that all those people, that everybody -” 

“Woah, Felicity, slow down. What were you working on?”

“It doesn’t matter now. It’s all gone, and I can’t get it back without rewriting the entire program - and by then, it might already be too late,” said Felicity as she jabbed at John before ducking John’s swing and delivered a left hook.

“What were you working on Felicity?” asked John again, before throwing another punch that Felicity ducked.

“It was this program to find missing women and how they might possibly correlate with the Bratva,” said Felicity nervously, knowing John wouldn’t approve.

 “Felicity! That is incredibly dangerous. If anyone caught you poking around in this, god knows what could have happened. You can’t mess with the Bratva, especially when Victor does not have your back,” said John, his fists clenching in anger.

 “I know it was dangerous, but I’m capable of taking care of myself. And just because it’s dangerous doesn’t mean that it wasn’t the right thing to do. Those women are innocent, and you can’t tell me you don’t think the Bratva is trafficking women!” said Felicity angrily as she threw another punch that John moved away from.

 “Felicity, if the Bratva does do that, there are reasons why it is so well hidden, and while it’s noble of you, it’s going to get you killed. There are better ways to go about things. Has it occurred to you that maybe someone saw you digging into this and ruined your laptop on purpose? You’re lucky it’s just a broken laptop, not a broken wrist, or worse,” said John gravely.

 “Victor was on the porch later that evening on a phone call. Do you think he could have seen it?” asked Felicity, suddenly realizing that what John said held some truth.

 “It doesn’t matter who saw it, if someone even did. What matters is that you’re safe, and that you didn’t get yourself into any trouble. Please, stop looking into this,” begged John.

 Felicity saw the concern and worry on her face, and knew she should tell John she was relenting. “Fine, I’ll stop looking into it… for now,” said Felicity, not really wanting to lie to John. She would stop looking into it until Victor went away.

 “Felicity…” said John.

 “It’s the best I can do John, but I won’t lie to you,” said Felicity honestly.

 “Fine,” said John, huffing out a breath, knowing that he would have to argue with her later, “now let’s get back to sparring,” said John as he moved his hands to his face.

 Felicity smiled before going in for a punch. She wasn’t going to stop looking, but she would stop for now. John barely missed her punch, before going in for an uppercut that hit her lightly in her jaw.

 They continued to spar for the next hour or so, taking breaks every ten minutes, until John got a text from one of the guards saying that he was needed. Felicity made her way upstairs to shower, picking up her broken laptop from the kitchen counter on her way, and storing it in her room, hoping to salvage what she could from it once Victor left for Russia in the summer.

 --------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Oliver had been waiting for Alexei’s call all morning, hoping him and Roy had found a way to locate Anna. After sending multiple texts, Alexei finally called.

 “Oliver, it’s bad,” said Alexei gravely.

 “Did you find her? Is the program not working?”

 “No… it worked. But Anna, well, Anna is dead. The program helped us find where Anna lived, but when Sara went to check the apartment, the landlord said that she had died last year.”

 “What? How can she be dead?” asked Oliver angrily, knowing that if they couldn’t find Anna, Felicity would never meet her real mom, and Anatoly’s promise would never be fulfilled.

 “She died from a drug overdose. She probably was given drugs when she was a prostitute, common Bratva technique of getting them hooked on drugs so that they keep coming back for more.”

 “Fuck,” shouted Oliver, his anger boiling over.

 “I know this is frustrating Oliver, but this program can still do some good. I handed it over to Roy and Sara, they’re going to feed information to the police, that way Victor won’t suspect anything if any more tips come from Starling,” said Alexei, hoping to calm down Oliver. 

“Smart. I don’t want anymore women to be in the position Anna is in. Once we have control of the Starling Bratva, and are finally able to be aware of everything that Victor did, we will shut all of this down,” said Oliver. He hated so many aspects of the Bratva, but by far, he hated the way women were treated. It made his blood boil every time a women was disrespected or treated as an object, but because he had a cover to maintain, and he knew that in the long run that would be way more effective. Anatoly too, once he had Felicity, had come to realize how evil the Bratva was, and wanted more than anything to take it down. The work Alexei and Oliver had done in Russia for the past eight years had been instrumental in weakening the Bratva, slowly, and carefully, but he knew it would take years before they could cause real damage to the organization - permanent damage.

 “I’m coming back to Starling now. Victor said he wanted to meet with us around lunch, so I’ll be back by then,” said Alexei before hanging up the phone.

 Oliver threw his phone onto his bed in anger, before making his way to the gym. On the way, however, he ran into Felicity in one of the hallways, her hair wet from having just showered. Felicity walked straight into his chest as she rounded the corner, about to fall before Oliver grabbed her waist, steadying her.

 “Hi,” she said smiling.

 Oliver returned the smile before moving one of his hands to tilt her head up, and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. Felicity moaned, opening her mouth, allowing Oliver to slip his tongue inside her mouth. Oliver completely controlled the kiss, his hands moving to cup her cheeks, and tilt her head even further back. After a minute, he pulled back, his thumb ghosting over her swollen lip.

 “Hi,” he said, his voice rough, “I had a really nice time last night. You want to go out again?”

 “That depends… Are you going to kiss me like that again?” she joked, her hands moving to his forearms.

 “Definitely,” said Oliver, before moving his head down to peck her on the lips. He then pulled back, looking at her eyes, which were slightly glassy, as if she had been crying. “Hey, you okay?”

 “Yeah, I just lost this thing I had been working on for weeks, and it’s gone, and I know I can recreate it, but by then it might be too late and I -” began Felicity, but Oliver was pulling her into his chest, his arms winding around her, keeping her secure.

 “Whatever it is, it’s going to be okay. I promise you,” said Oliver as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. He felt immensely guilty that destroying this program would ruin everything that she had been working on, but he’d rather she had been hurting over this, than Donna or Victor finding out anything - or worse, Felicity finding out her real mother was dead.

 Felicity stayed in his arms for a while, thankful that she finally had someone, other than John, to comfort her. It wasn’t like she needed a boyfriend, but she wanted somebody she could rely on, a friend, and Donna and Victor never gave her an opportunity to make one.

 Oliver eventually pulled back, his hands running up and down her sides, “You going to be okay? We can go for a drive or something if you’d like.”

 “No it’s okay, I’ll be fine. Thank you,” she said as she moved up on her toes to reach his lips, before kissing him softly. This time Oliver let her control the kiss, as she brought her hands to the nape of his neck, pulling him down slightly. She kissed him passionately, for several minutes, before pulling away breathless. “I should probably go find John, we have to go laptop shopping. But I’ll see you later?” she asked.

 “Meet me in the kitchen around seven?” he asked.

 “I’d love to. See you then,” replied Felicity before walking away.

 Oliver smiled to himself the entire walk back to the gym, his moment with Felicity momentarily causing him to forget about Anna.  He wrapped his hands before beginning his rounds on the punching bag, working out until it was time for his lunch with Victor and Alexei.

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Oliver and Alexei made their way over to the table Victor was sitting at. They were at some indonesian restaurant the Bratva used as a front for drug money, but the food was surprisingly good.

 “Oliver, Alexei, I’m glad you could make it,” said Victor.

 “It’s our pleasure. What can we do for you Captain?” stated Oliver.

 “Recently I was informed that some of the Bratva Captains in Russia have been wanting me to stay in Russia longer than just the summer. They want me to leave tomorrow,” said Victor gravely.

 “Why?” asked Alexei, feigning concern.

 “The snitch has caused some real problems, and they are concerned as to if I am fit enough to run this branch. Luckily, once I arrive there, they’ll see that I am more than capable of handling things. I am leaving the Starling Bratva in your hands while I am away Oliver, please do not disappoint me.”

 “You can trust me,” said Oliver.

A moment later Victor’s phone rang, causing him to excuse himself. 

“At least this part of the plan worked,” said Alexei.

 “Once we prove that the Starling Bratva is much better care in our hands, it can all begin,” said Oliver, hoping that they could at least accomplish this part of Anatoly’s plan perfectly.

 Victor returned to the table a moment later, and the rest of the lunch was used to discuss Bratva matters. Alexei and Oliver played their parts perfectly, leading Victor to suspect nothing, and to trust them absolutely.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Oliver stirred the linguini gently, before covering the pot with a lid. He had just taken the freshly baked dinner rolls out of the oven, when Felicity had walked into the kitchen.

 She was wearing jeans and simple black turtleneck with her hair in an elegant ponytail. “Are you cooking for me?” she asked surprised. The fact that Oliver could cook, on top of everything else, just seemed unfair.

 “It’s just a simple shrimp linguini alfredo with dinner rolls,” said Oliver casually, as he wiped his hands on his apron.

 “It’s very sweet of you,” replied Felicity as she moved closer to him.

 “It’s nothing, “ said Oliver as he began to plate their food. They made their way over to the dining table in the other room, Felicity sitting at the head of the table with Oliver on her right.

 They had a comfortable dinner, their conversation less heavy than the night before, but still interesting. It was already ten o’clock by the time they had finished the dessert - chocolate souffles - and were making their way into the kitchen.

 They cleaned their dishes in silence, with Felicity washing them and Oliver drying them. When they had finished, and had both washed their hands, Oliver took Felicity’s hand and led her out to the porch. The sky was dark, but numerous stars glittered in the sky.

 Somehow Felicity wound up curled around Oliver, gazing at the stars, neither of them saying anything.  There was this peace and stillness to what they were doing that they didn’t want to disrupt. Oliver’s hand moved up and down her side, in an effort to keep her warm, but all it did was give Felicity even more goosebumps.

 After a while, Felicity turned in his arms, so that her front was pressed up against his chest. Oliver moved a strand out of her hair, and kissed her gently. They spent several minutes kissing, before Oliver moved them to stand, and walked them off the porch as it got chilly. He could tell Felicity was tired, and placed his hand on her back as he led her upstairs to her room.

 “Goodnight Felicity,” said Oliver as he placed the lightest of kisses on her lips.

 “Goodnight.”

 Felicity made her way into her room, feeling slightly better about the things that had happened today. Yes, her program was gone, but she was going to get it back - even if John objected. Victor was leaving earlier than expected, so it would soon be safe for her to start working on it again.

 When she mentioned the program over dinner, Oliver had gone unusually silent, but Felicity figured he had probably knew more about the horrors of the Bratva, and was just trying to shield her from it. He had warned her that it was dangerous, and that maybe it was best to leave it be, but when she shot him a look, he put his hands up in the air, and changed the subject. The rest of the night had gone off without a hitch, and Felicity figured it was best not to dwell on that one moment.

 As Oliver made his way back to his own room, he knew it would be difficult to keep Felicity from working on this program again, but at least now that he knew about it, he could get Alexei to keep sabotaging it.

 It was the only way. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 FIVE YEARS LATER (April 6th, 2017):

 Felicity and Oliver stayed on the beach for a while, until she had started to doze off. Oliver nudged her gently, saying nothing as she woke, and got up. They walked side by side back to the house, their hands brushing against each other.

 Oliver didn’t know what to say. He had just told Felicity something that had probably hurt her more than anything else. She deserved the full truth, that Donna wasn’t her mother, that Anna was dead, but it wasn’t safe. He had already revealed too much, and knowing Felicity, this wouldn’t be the last of her questions. Hopefully, she would trust him, long enough to keep her safe.

 Felicity and Oliver entered the house, neither of them saying anything. She made her way to the bathroom, stripping off her clothes and getting into the shower. The water was cold and made her shiver, but at this point, she didn’t care.

 Donna tried to kill her. Oliver killed Donna. Oliver lied about all of this - and why, she didn’t know. A part of it was probably to spare her from thinking her mother wanted her dead, but there was more to it, there had to be. His secret phone calls to Roy, the burner phone with the number, there was so much more going on that she didn’t even know about.

 She wanted answers, no she needed them. Everything had fallen apart in her life, and there was nothing that she could do about it. The only thing that could ease her mind would be answers. Even though she wasn’t sure she would like what she would find. He let her hate him, for something that he didn’t do, in order to protect her. He let her believe the absolute worst about him, let her hit him and kick her, and still did everything to save her. Did he do all of this because he loved her? Did he love her? Was that just a part of the lie? At this point, any guess was as good as the next.

 “Felicity, are you okay?” called out Oliver from outside the bathroom, leading Felicity to realize how long she had been in there.

 “Yeah, I’m just finishing up, I’ll be out in a moment,” replied Felicity as she shut off the water. She stepped out, goosebumps all over her skin from the cold air, as she wrapped a towel around herself. She opened the door, to see Oliver standing in front of her, his expression pained.

 She ignored his look and moved towards the dresser, her hands shaking as she tried to open the drawer, but for some reason couldn’t because it was stuck. “Damnit” she said loudly as she smacked her hand on the dresser in anger. Oliver was there a moment later, his hand moving to cover the one that she had smacked on , as the other went to cup her face.

 “Felicity,” he said softly. Her eyes flitted downward, not wanting see his face. “That drawer has been jammed for a while, just take one of my shirts to sleep in,” he said so gently that Felicity almost had to do a double take to make sure it was him.

 Oliver moved to grab one of his shirts, before handing it to her, his hand brushing against hers again. “You’re freezing Felicity,” he stated, the concern evident.

 “I guess the water was cold,” she replied, her voice shaky as she pulled on his shirt over the towel, before pulling the towel out from underneath and setting it on the counter.

 Oliver said nothing as he pulled her into him, rubbing his arms up and down her back to keep her warm. Felicity could’ve pulled back, could’ve walked away and got under the covers, but she didn’t want to. Despite her better judgement, she was trusting him.

 Donna trying to kill her changed things, it changed him from being a power hungry monster to someone who had done everything to save her. He had killed for her. But he also left, and he never told her the truth. And even if he once promised her father, thirteen years ago, to keep her safe, that was no reason not to tell her. There had to be something else, someone else, whom Oliver was working for, or working with, and she knew it wasn’t Roy. It all led back to the number that was hidden inside the burner phone. But for now, she couldn’t think about all that, and instead decided to focus on Oliver’s soothing motions on her back.

 Oliver eventually let go, telling her to sleep, as he went into the bathroom. Felicity climbed into the bed, feeling much warmer than before, as she pulled up the covers. It almost didn’t feel right without Oliver there. She had gotten so used to sleeping next to him, well to be more accurate, sleeping draped across him, that she wasn’t sure if she could even fall asleep without him tonight.

 After about ten minutes, Oliver walked out of the bathroom, in just his boxers, and climbed into the bed, immediately pulling Felicity to him. Felicity held onto him with a death grip, needing to have something - no him - to hold onto. She fell asleep moments afterwards, the tiredness that she had been feeling finally setting in.

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Oliver woke in the morning to Felicity’s head tucked into his shoulder and her arm banded across his chest, with his hand resting on her hip. Not wanting to wake her, Oliver resolved to stay in bed until she woke up.

 He couldn’t but help to think about how she reacted, how sad it had all made her. Despite keeping his promise, he didn’t want to tell her for this exact reason. He’d rather she hate him, and think the worst of him, than to know how Donna felt about her. The pain that it had inflicted upon her was unimaginable. He wished he could tell her about Anna, but if he told her that, he’d have to tell her everything. And it wasn’t his story to tell.

 As he took out a deep breath, Felicity shifted against him, her head jerking up as she realized where she was, before setting it back down against his chest. The action almost made Oliver chuckle, but this situation was anything but funny.

 “Hi,” said Oliver, his voice rough.

 “Hi,” replied Felicity, hesitantly.

 “How are you feeling?”

 “Fine, I guess.”

 “Do you want to get up?” asked Oliver, not really knowing what else to say.

 “No.”

 “Do you want me to go?”

 Felicity took out a deep breath before replying, “No.” That was all Oliver needed to hear. He pulled her tightly against him, and closed his eyes, figuring they could both use some sleep for a little while.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 It was a few hours before Felicity woke up again, still tucked against Oliver. He was asleep now, his breaths in sync with her own. Felicity tried to pull away slightly, but Oliver’s hold on her hip only tightened. She had forgotten that in his sleep he was very protective. Doing her best to pry her hand from her hip, she managed to loosen his hold enough to slip out of the bed silently.

 She made her way downstairs, making herself some coffee before pulling out a piece of paper, and began writing down all the things she knew, hoping it would help her organize her thoughts:

  **Things I know:**

  * ****Oliver killed Donna to save my life****


  * **Donna tried to kill me**


  * **Oliver lied about his reasons for killing Donna, and got Victor to cover for him**


  * **Alexei dies, and Victor puts out a hit for me**


  * **First he puts out a hit by the triad to his close circle of friend and** **then makes the entire Bratva think I’m a traitor**


  * **Cooper Seldon was murdered after framing me -** **haven’t found the program on his laptop yet**


  * **Oliver has a “promise” to keep**


  * **Oliver, Roy, Sara, are all working for the same person**


  * **The phone number must lead to that person**


  * **Reasons Oliver won’t tell me the truth: 1.** **“The promise" 2.** **He’s an idiot**


  * **Reasons Victor wants me dead: _______________ (Oliver knows)**


  * **Reasons Donna** ~~ **wants**~~ **wanted me dead: ______________**



 Felicity placed her pen down, unable to think of a reason that Donna would want her dead. She wasn’t even sure if Oliver knew or not. She tried re-reading the list, hoping that in writing down all the information, she would be able to find something, but she still had nothing. She let out a sigh, unable to think about it any longer. Thinking about all of this was exhausting.

 She crumpled up her piece of paper and threw it in the trash, before opening up the fridge to see if Oliver had cooked anything. Luckily there was some bread and even though she was a pretty bad cook, she hoped that she could put bread in a toaster without fail (although in the past, the toaster hadn’t always been the kindest of friends to her).

 As she toasted her bread, Oliver came down, still wearing just his boxers. He eyed the piece of bread in the toaster, as if he expected it to burst out into flames.

 “I know how to make toast,” said Felicity.

 “I just wanted to make sure you didn’t jam it because -”

 “Because last time I used a knife to get out the piece of toast and nearly electrocuted myself. I remember,” interrupted Felicity, humour in her tone.

 Oliver smiled fondly at the memory, it happened during their time together in Ivy Town. He moved to the coffee machine to make himself some coffee, dumping out the used grinds from the filter. Felicity made her coffee way too strong. He poured in a smaller amount of grinds before turning to see Felicity staring at him.

 “Oliver?” she asked hesitantly.

 “Hmm?”

 “Why did my mother want to kill me? What did I do wrong?” said Felicity, doing her best to keep her voice steady as a single traitorous tear slipped down her cheek.

 “Felicity…”

 “Do you know why?” she pressed on.

 “Felicity, I can’t give you the answers. I’m so sorry,” said Oliver as he moved to wrap his arms around her. He let her cry into his chest, his heart breaking every time she let out a sob. Felicity looked up at him after a minute, her eyes red and swollen.

 “You let me hate you all these years. Was it to protect me from being hurt, or was it about keeping your promise?”

 “Honestly… both,” answered Oliver, “even if I could tell you the truth, I would never want to hurt you like that. I figured it was better for you to think I killed her to gain more power in the Bratva, than if you knew what Donna was planning.”

“I wish you had just told me the truth from the beginning. You broke my heart that day - and every day after that I thought you were just using me to climb to power.  You were the one person that I trusted, that I loved with everything I had, and you let me believe the absolute worst about you.”

 “Felicity, I - I didn’t, I just -”

 “I’m not trying to blame you for it. I just want you to know how I felt, how I _still_ feel. You still won’t tell me the truth. You still are working for someone, or with someone, and that trumps everything - even me. Do you even really love me? Or do you just say that to get me to trust you?” asked Felicity, not trying to sound bitter, just trying to find out the truth.

“I don’t want to lie to you. I hate lying to you. But it’s not me who can tell you the truth - I don’t even know the full truth, but trust me when I say it’s in your best interest. And of course I love you Felicity. You are the only woman I have ever loved and you are the only woman I ever will love. When I tell you that I love you, it isn’t to manipulate you, or to get you to trust me, it’s so that you know you are loved. That you will always have me,” said Oliver as he moved so close to her she could feel his breath.

 Felicity didn’t know what prompted her to do it. It might have been the proximity to him and the general sexual tension she felt around him whenever she was within twenty feet of him, or it might have been that she was still in love with him. It might have been the stress of the past twenty-four hours finally reaching its breaking point, but whatever it was, Felicity stood up on her toes and kissed Oliver.

 At first, Oliver didn’t react. Felicity grew nervous, unsure of what to do, and began pulling back, but as she did, Oliver cupped the back of her head and attacked her lips with his own. Oliver kissed her fiercely, saying everything with the kiss that he couldn’t say with his words. He began to nibble on her lower lip, causing her to moan, and used the opportunity to delve his tongue into her mouth, battling with her own. He completely dwarfed her, as he turned them ninety degrees, and picked her up as if she weighed nothing, and placed her on the counter.

 He started to run his hands up her sides, his fingers resting on her waist eventually, on the edge of his shirt. She wasn’t wearing any underwear, and his shirt had ridden up a lot as she sat on the counter. Felicity ran her hands over his naked back, her fingers flexing against the hard muscle. As she began to nip at his lower lip, Oliver groaned, before pulling back.

 “Felicity, we should probably stop,” said Oliver, clearly out of breath from having kissed her.

 “I need this right now Oliver, I just want to forget everything, “ said Felicity breathily, as she attempted to pull Oliver down to her lips once again.

 “That’s exactly why we can’t. You’re upset right now, and you would regret it. As much as I want this, as much as I want to take you up to that bed and never let you leave, it wouldn’t be right. You deserve better, “ said Oliver, his voice so low she could barely hear it.

 Felicity suddenly flushed, realizing how stupid she was being. She shouldn’t have acted on her desires, or whatever it was that she acted on - her and Oliver weren’t there yet.  Feeling embarrassed, she hopped off the counter, pushing past Oliver, rushing out of the kitchen.

 Oliver followed her immediately, stopping her in the living room and turning her around, his hand cupping her cheek. “Hey,” he said, using the special ‘hey’ he reserved just for her, “you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Believe me, there is nothing more that I want than to kiss you. But I lost that right, and if I did what I wanted to do with you, I would be taking advantage of you.”

 Felicity nodded her head, another tear slipping from her cheek. God, she hated how much she had cried in the past few weeks, but it was as if all the sadness she had masked with anger for the past four years was coming undone, and all that was left was her tears.

 “Do you want me to make you something tastier than what I’m assuming is burnt toast?” asked Oliver.

 “Yeah, that’d be nice,” said Felicity as Oliver took her small hand in his own rather large one and led them back into the kitchen. Felicity sat once again on the counter as Oliver cooked them omelettes. It was domestic and familiar, and Felicity didn't have the energy to think about what it meant.

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 As Felicity worked on Cooper’s laptop, hoping to finally find the program that had been used to frame her, Oliver went upstairs to shower. All of his files weren’t labeled, meaning she had to go through each and every one, and find what they did.

 Whoever he was, he actually had some interesting programs, and when all of this was over, Felicity might even consider working on his programs. She looked at the computer screen, realizing that it was two o’clock, and that she had better call John.

 She picked up the burner phone, and dialed his number, hearing him pick up on the first ring.

 “John?” she asked.

 “Felicity,” he replied, breathing out a sigh of relief.

 “Any news?”

 “Not much. Now that people think Oliver is dead, the hunt has died down quite a bit. Any luck on the laptop?”

 “Well I’m still looking through the files, but I’m about eighty percent done with them, so hopefully it will turn up soon. If I were to find the program he used to frame me, what am I supposed to do with it?” she asked, not quite sure on how to prove her innocence.

 “Mail the laptop, with all of the instructions on how to deal with it to me. I’ll take it to members of a different Bratva branch, and try to expose Victor for his lies.”

“No John, that is way too dangerous. No way am I going to let you risk your life like that for me. If Victor or any of his men caught you, he would kill you on the spot,” said Felicity, realizing that either her or Oliver would have to deliver the laptop as proof.

 “Felicity, I can take care of myself. And I sure as hell don’t want you going to any Bratva members trying to prove your innocent, the standing order is to shoot on sight,” warned John.

 “We’ll have to figure something else out then. Now, how are you?” asked Felicity.

 “Well, little JJ started walking a few weeks ago, and Lyla got him into a really good pre-school. Things at home are good right now at home, but I miss you.  The Starling Bratva has been shadier than ever recently, especially with you gone. I can’t help but think Victor wants you dead so you’re not poking around in any of his business. You always did have a knack for making things harder for him, “ said John.

 “I’m glad things are good at home. As for why Victor wanted to kill me, I’m sure there are a number of reasons, but whatever they are - he’s persistent. But I’m safe. And I miss you too. It’s not the same without you kicking my butt on the training mats everyday,” joked Felicity.

 “Stay safe Felicity. And keep updating me everyday if you can. I have to go before Victor wonders why I left the house for so long. Love you,” said John as he cut the call.

 Felicity wanted to inform John about Donna, and about everything she had just learned, but she wasn’t sure she could even say those words out loud. She started running all the things that she had learned from Oliver in the past twenty four hours through her head once again. 

 Suddenly, Felicity realized another hole in Oliver’s story. Victor had told her that Donna was killed because she was the snitch, and that it was Oliver’s orders. But Felicity knew very well that Donna wasn’t the snitch, and if Oliver killed Donna to protect her, something didn’t add up.

 So the real question was, why did Victor want Donna dead? Was it the same reason that he wanted Felicity dead? If there was something about Felicity and Donna, perhaps their connection to Anatoly or someone else, maybe that was why he wanted them dead.

 She knew that now wasn’t the time to ask Oliver these questions, that she would have to wait for later that night, when they were both sleeping in the same bed. She knew that she might have to manipulate him, tell him that she would leave, threaten to call Victor, etc. but she deserved the truth. And these were questions that demanded answers.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Oliver stood in the bathroom, pretending to shower, when he was really waiting for a call back from Sara. After a few moments, the burner phone rang, and Oliver picked up.

 “Sara?”

 “Are you alone?” asked Sara.

 “Yes. What new information do you have?” asked Oliver quietly, as he turned the water on, just incase Felicity would try and eavesdrop.

 “Victor is still trying his best to get Felicity killed. Once she’s out of the picture, not only is the Starling Bratva his, but he will have finally believed that he purged the Bratva of Anatoly’s family. But there’s a way to keep her safe - to get all of this to stop so that you can come with me and Roy, and we can end all of this once and for all.”  
“Well what is it?”

 “It’s part of the new plan. We fake Felicity’s death. I’ll go into the details later, but once Victor assumes she’s dead, she won’t have to hide anymore. Afterwards, Roy and I will use Cooper’s laptop to expose Victor, and frame him for trying to put an end to the Bratva.”

“And then what? What about everything else? How does Felicity come into all of this? When does she get to know the truth?” asked Oliver angrily.

 “One step at a time, Oliver,” warned Sara.

 “No! Enough is enough. We’ve been doing this for twelve years - one step at a time, and look where it’s led us. And for ten of those years, you, me, Roy, we were in the dark. And we’re still in the dark. The plan isn’t working. I need to speak with him.”

 “He’s not going to like that. And remember Oliver -”

 “I will never forget. Ever. But the plan isn’t working anymore, and I’ve got a few ideas of my own. Tell him to be on the line tonight around three in the morning. Felicity is always deep in sleep around then,” replied Oliver curtly, before hanging up the phone.

 He got in the shower for a moment, just to get his hair wet, before stepping out and putting a towel around his hips. He peeped his head out of the bathroom, making sure Felicity wasn’t around to overhear his conversation, as he changed into a pair of sweatpants. He shuffled downstairs, to see Felicity typing furiously on the laptop.

 “How’s it going?” he asked. Felicity didn’t respond, too engrossed in her work to even notice his presence or hear what he had said.

 “Yes!” she called out, pumping her fist in the air, suddenly noticing his presence. “I found the file, it’s actually super simple, basically Victor gave him access to the Bratva mainframe - including my laptop - and he just created a program that _looked_ like it was spoofing Bratva IP’s and sending them to the police, when in reality it was just writing random addresses and -” Felicity looked up to see Oliver’s gaze, unreadable, as he moved to pick up the laptop.

 “If I give this to one of my associates, it will show without a doubt, that you were framed?” asked Oliver, a hint of pride in his tone.

 “Yup. And luckily this laptop is without a doubt Cooper’s, given all his other programs that are on here, so no one will have any trouble believing that it’s his laptop,” said Felicity excitedly, hoping this would all be over soon.

 “Anyway to prove that Victor paid him to do this? A money trail or bank statement maybe?” said Oliver, reminding Felicity that this battle was only half over.

 “None. Dammit,” muttered Felicity.

 “Hey, we’ll get there,” said Oliver, “I’m going to go buy some groceries, care to come with me?”

 “Sure,” said Felicity, before pointing to his outfit, “are you going to put on a shirt?” she joked, knowing that with Oliver, he usually wasn’t wearing a shirt.

 “Yeah,” said Oliver huffing out a breath, before going upstairs to slip on a t-shirt.

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 When Oliver climbed into bed later that night, Felicity was already there. She wordlessly curled around him, as Oliver’s hand found its place on her hip. He began to close his eyes, knowing he would only have a few hours to sleep before he had to take his phone call.

 “Oliver?” said Felicity.

 “Yeah,” he replied, stroking her hip with his hand. 

“When Donna died, Victor and you told me it was because she was the snitch, and that he ordered it. But it doesn’t line up with you shooting Donna because she was going to kill me,” she said quietly. 

 “Victor’s and Donna’s marriage wasn’t out of love. He wanted her gone for many reasons. I told him that Donna was the snitch, that I took care of it, and I asked him to tell you that it was a hit. That I was doing it for power. And he agreed because he wanted Donna out of the way, and saw the killing as an example of my loyalty to him. It was the reason I was promoted to a captain in Central City,” said Oliver. He knew it was a half-truth, but he hoped it would be enough to quell a fight.

 “What were the reasons?” she asked, knowing that Oliver probably wouldn’t tell her.

 “Felicity…” said Oliver, pleading with her.

 “I get it. You’re not going to tell me,” she replied, before extracting herself from him, and curling the other way. Oliver gave her a few moments before his hand slipped around her waist, effectively spooning her from behind.

 “Felicity, I want to tell you, I want to tell you so bad it kills me every day. But I’m working on it. I am, and I hope that in a few months, or however long it takes, you will be able to hear the truth - and you’ll finally understand. And it’s not fair, and you deserve better - but this is the best I can give you right now,” said Oliver, his voice just a whisper.

 Felicity said nothing, but acknowledged what he said by placing her hand over his own that was banded across her waist. She nestled herself a little closer to him and sighed. Oliver breathed out a sigh of relief, amazed at how understanding she was. He didn’t understand how a person could be so good, so kind, despite everything that had happened to her. Despite everything that he had done, she still was here, in his arms, and trusting her life with his.

 Anatoly had told her many times when he was in Russia that Felicity was his light in the dark - and he could see why. This life - the Bratva, it was dark, and it could ruin a man’s soul without him even realizing it. The killing, the lying, it had ruined many people, Oliver had seen it happen. But Felicity, she made someone in the Bratva feel like a human again.

 And Oliver was done following the plan. It didn’t take into account how much hiding the truth was hurting Felicity, even if the truth hurt more, she deserved to know everything. He knew it would be dangerous, that she could do something stupid, but he would be there with her, every step of the way.

 A few hours later, Oliver looked at his watch realizing it was time to go. He slipped out of bed, checking to make sure Felicity was asleep, before taking one of the burners with him and getting in the car. He drove out to the edge of town, before taking the phone and dialing the number. He entered the four digit code at the beep, before entering the second code - a six digit one, and waited for the answer.

 “Hello?” asked Oliver.

 “Oliver, it’s been a long time!” said a voice that was all too happy for the current circumstances.

 “Felicity deserves to know the truth. I want to tell her everything - starting with thirteen years ago, up to today,” said Oliver, his voice leaving no room for argument.

 “Oliver, you know it’s not that simple. I have to right my wrongs, I can’t have her knowing those things about me, especially not from you. She deserves to hear it from me. I know you love her. I know you hate lying to her. But you have to, please. Felicity is my last hope in this world, and I have to make things right. Give me this second chance - like I once gave you,” begged the voice.

 He had done everything for Oliver. He had saved him, and taught him how to be better. He had given him instructions on how to take down the Bratva, on how to survive in this world. Oliver owed him his life. He meant what he said in his promise, he meant to follow that letter, but somewhere along the way, he had fallen in love with Felicity, and making her happy was his priority.

 But Oliver stood by his word. And after finding out he was alive two years ago, after thinking he was gone for so long, Oliver knew that this man had done everything to right his wrongs. To make it safe for Felicity. And it wasn’t his story to tell.

 “I promise you, Anatoly. I’ll do as you ask. But you have to find a way to tell her. She isn’t the same girl you used to know, and she can handle the truth. She might be angry and mad at first, but it’s only because she loves you,” said Oliver, his voice softening.

 “I know that, I just, after I learned that Anna died, after trying for so long to find her - I just felt like I couldn’t tell Felicity anything good if I ever came back. That she would look at me and see this monster who lied to her and took her mother from her,” said Anatoly, his voice shaking.

 “Donna took Anna away, and Donna and Victor are the people to blame. You tried to turn yourself around, you tried to become a better man. And she will understand that when you tell her, but you have tell her soon - as soon as it’s safe for you to come back. It’s breaking her heart every single day to know that she’s being lied to,” said Oliver.

 “You’re right, my boy. I am glad she has you. As for the plan, if we fake her death, she will be safe. No one knows more about faking your own death than me. And afterwards we can use the laptop to frame Victor, making it safe for her to come back - for me to come back. ” said Anatoly hopefully.

 “You and I both know this won’t be over until the entire Bratva crumbles to the ground. That’s the only way it will ever be safe - especially given everything you, Sara, Roy, even Alexei, have done. But you can still tell her the truth, you can come meet us, or on the phone even -”

 “It has to be done right - I’m not telling her everything over the phone. I’ll do it once it’s over and she can know everything all at once.  I have to go now, and I doubt Felicity will be asleep much longer, so you should go as well. Thank you Oliver - and keep her safe,” interrupted Anatoly, before cutting the call.

 Oliver sat back in the seat, sighing to himself. His phone call with Anatoly had renewed his resolve, which was quickly crumbling ever since he had told Felicity about Donna. She did deserve the truth - but it wasn’t his truth to tell.

 It was Anatoly’s. And the sooner they figured this all out, he could come back, and maybe Felicity could have a father again.

 And maybe, just maybe, she would forgive him for everything. Maybe - he could have the one thing he had wanted since he had set his eyes on her - he could have Felicity again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAHI!! I hope you guys liked it! Were you surprised?? Drop me any questions in the comments! Every single kudos, review, comment, etc. makes my heart swell with joy! I love you all so much!
> 
> xoxo gina 
> 
> P. S Next update will be by next Friday, but might be earlier because the writing bug is in my


	8. Fear of the Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FIVE YEARS AGO: Oliver and Felicity are making out and things heat up which leads them to talk about something important. Alexei and Oliver have problems - going back to the list of phone numbers felicity gave them - and a fight breaks out. 
> 
> FIVE YEARS LATER: Felicity is worried about Diggle, for he isn't responding to any of her calls. Felicity demands that Oliver and her go after him, but Oliver thinks that it's too dangerous. There's lots of fighting, and lots of sexual tension :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everybody! I hope you’re all having a lovely day!! I have a few important things to share with you, so I hope you’ll read this note:
> 
> As some of you may have noticed, the flashback, or five years ago timeline is progressing a lot more quickly than the present. This is totally on purpose, and it’s because the flashback will be ending sooner and I’m guessing that there are only a few more chapters of the flashback left - but there are plenty more of the present! Also, from this point on, I’m going to be making my chapters shorter - especially after the flashbacks end (i’m sorry). There are actually a few reasons for my doing so, one being that keeping my chapter around 5-6k words will allow me to complete them once a week, and another being that the long writing of each chapter sometimes felt a little strung out to me and I struggle with stopping points, so they will be a shorter from now on (but my story will still be just as long as originally planned!) That being said, I hope you all really enjoy this chapter! <3 Gina

~~~~

FIVE YEARS AGO (June 5th, 2012):

Felicity sat back on her bed, smiling to herself as she thought about the last couple weeks. She had been “dating” Oliver and it was going extremely well.  With Victor and Donna in Russia, and Oliver in charge of the Starling Bratva, things were better than ever. Although Oliver had been spending more time away from her doing his work, Felicity was able to concentrate on rebuilding her program. Unfortunately, something with her new laptop kept overloading, and her program had crashed and deleted itself multiple times as soon as she begun working on it. Nevertheless, Felicity was persistent, and if it crashed one more time, she knew she was going to have to get herself a new laptop.

When she realized the time, she jolted out of bed and made her way downstairs, knowing that Oliver would be waiting to have breakfast with her. When she entered the kitchen. Oliver was sitting on a stool in front of the island, waiting for her to arrive. He was wearing just a pair of loose grey sweatpants, and Felicity ogled him as she made her way over to him.

 “You know it’s rude to stare Felicity,” said Oliver, a teasing quality to his tone, as he pulled her to stand between his legs.

 “Couldn’t help myself. I think you should always be shirtless,” replied Felicity before pressing a quick kiss to his lips. As she began to pull back, Oliver banded his arms around her, and continued their kiss. His hands ran up her sides, skimming underneath her flimsy tank top, bunching it up right underneath her breasts. Felicity gasped at the feeling of his warm palm against her abdomen, allowing Oliver to deepen the kiss, and swirl his tongue along the roof of her mouth. Suddenly, Oliver was standing and moving her backwards until they hit the counter. He picked her up as if she weighed nothing and positioned her on the counter. His hand on her hip began to play at the waistband of her shorts, causing Felicity to gasp once again. 

Felicity suddenly realized what they were doing: making out, while both of them were (mostly) shirtless. As he started to slip his hand under her shorts and inch his fingers dangerously close, Felicity knew she had to stop it. This was the farthest her and Oliver had gone, and at the rate at which this was progressing, she was nervous as to what would happen next. Every time their makeouts escalated, she made an excuse to stop them. Logically, she knew she had no reason to be afraid, but she was scared to tell Oliver she was a virgin, and wanted to put off that conversation for as long as possible. 

 She pushed him back slightly, catching her breath, before speaking. “As much as I’d like to continue that, I’m hungry.” 

 “I’m very hungry as well,” said Oliver, a sparkle in his eyes as he moved his lips back to hers and cupped the back of her neck. Felicity allowed the kiss to deepen for another minute, before pulling back once again and giving him a stern glare. Oliver let out a grumble, before moving back and allowing her to jump off the counter.

 “You’re very distracting,” teased Felicity as she made her way to the fridge while tugging her tank top down. Oliver laughed a little, before moving closer to her once again.

 “Felicity if there is something you’re not comfortable doing, I completely understand, but you have to tell me. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything,” said Oliver, his eyes searching hers.

 “No, no, no, that’s not it, it’s just that I was hungry. I’m totally comfortable with whatever,” lied Felicity, before turning her attention back to the fridge.

 “Fe-li-ci-ty,” said Oliver, stretching out the syllables of her name, “every time things start to heat up you stop them. At first I thought it was just because you actually had to go, but please tell me if you’re not comfortable with going further.”

 Felicity put the carton of eggs down, and closed the fridge. Oliver was being so gentlemanly about it, she felt stupid about hiding it in the first place. “It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that I’ve - I’m, well, the thing is, I just - “

 “Whatever it is, you can tell me,” said Oliver so softly, as he cupped her cheek with his hand.

 “I’m not… experienced. I’ve never - you know - had sex, and I don’t know if I’m ready to have it yet” replied Felicity, scared that saying those words aloud would cause Oliver to leave. When he didn’t respond immediately, she tried to push past him and leave, but Oliver held her there, and spoke once again.

 “We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. I didn’t even think about the fact that you might be a virgin, and I’m sorry if I made it seem as though I was pressuring you,” said Oliver softly, trying to convince her of his words.

 “But you’re a guy, and you have, well, you have ‘needs’ and stuff, and you know most guys have sex, and _like_ to have sex, and if I can’t give you sex then maybe it - “ began Felicity before Oliver interrupted her.

 “Felicity, I want to be with you, and nothing is going to change that. Yes, I like to have sex, but I want to be with you more than anything, and I’m willing to wait - however long it takes.”

 “Are you sure? Because I’d understand if you were frustrated or  -” began Felicity once more, her insecurities having been slightly lessened at Oliver’s words,

 “I’m sure. I just want you to be happy, more than anything, and if sex is something you’re not ready for, then we will wait,” interrupted Oliver.  

“Thank you,” murmured Felicity before pressing a kiss to his lips. When he didn’t respond to the kiss, Felicity spoke once more, a teasing tone to her voice, “you can still kiss me. I really liked the kissing.” Oliver smiled at her before kissing her back softly. 

 \--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 An hour after breakfast, Oliver was making his way to the conference room to discuss business with Alexei. Oliver felt incredibly guilty for not realizing Felicity’s hesitations, and wished he had noticed and said something to her sooner. The last thing he wanted her to think was that he was in it for the sex. Oliver had already had lots of meaningless sex, and it wasn’t even something that was in the cards for him again. He just wanted to be with Felicity. He loved this woman, and while he didn’t know if he was ready to say it out loud, he wanted her to know how strongly he felt about her. 

 There were other things, of course, that Oliver was feeling guilty about in their relationship, mainly that Oliver and Alexei were actively trying to stop her from writing her new program. Felicity had no idea that Alexei had been overriding her computer with an undetectable program, and Oliver and Alexei hoped to keep it that way. As guilty as Oliver felt about it, he knew that keeping her safe and out of this whole mess was necessary. 

 Oliver made his way down the last corner, before entering into the conference room. Alexei was sitting at the table, staring down at a pile of paperwork. Oliver and Alexei were thrilled to have the Bratva branch to themselves. As soon as Victor left, the “snitch” stopped reporting everything, and the Starling Bratva was thriving, making Victor look worse than ever. Everything that Anatoly had planned for was happening - except for Anna. 

 “You know the numbers that Felicity gave us off of Victor’s phone a few weeks ago?” asked Alexei, clearly frustrated.

 “Yeah, I thought we didn’t need them since we already found Anna.”

“We needed them for more than Anna and you know that Oliver. Whoever he is making his secret calls to is going to be essential in taking him down. And right now, none of these numbers lead anywhere. It’s almost as if someone messed with them.”

 “I can ask Felicity to look over the numbers again, maybe she made a mistake,” said Oliver hopefully, not liking Alexei’s implications.

 “Let’s hope it’s a mistake. Maybe your girlfriend knows more than she’s letting on. First the numbers, and now this program she’s writing to find missing women, perhaps she knows more than she lets on,” sneered Alexei.

 “Not possible. If she had even the slightest inkling to Anatoly’s plans and her true mother, she would tell me about it. Besides, there isn’t a chance in hell she knows about any of this,” said Oliver, his voice raising.

 “You sure about that?”

“Yes. I’ll ask her to look at the numbers once again. Maybe she gave us the wrong list,” ground out Oliver, not wanting to argue this point with Alexei anymore.

 “Fine. Now we have other business to attend to, mainly Donna. If Anna is dead, then keeping Donna alive is no longer necessary. I suggest we have her killed,” said Alexei so casually it almost sounded like joke.

 “Are you crazy? Anatoly never wanted Donna to die. And we still don’t know everything that she knows. We’re not killing her,” replied Oliver incredulously. 

 “Afraid your girlfriend will be upset?” scoffed Alexei. Before Alexei could blink, he was being pushed up against the wall, his hands above his head.

 “Say another comment like that, and you won’t be walking for a week. We are going to follow the plan exactly, and we’re not going to be murdering people just for the hell of it,” gritted out Oliver.

 Alexei shoved him off and straightened out his suit, before speaking once again, “Anatoly isn’t here anymore, and the death of Donna will cause Victor to seem inadequate, especially if the death happens in Russia, away from us.”

 “You’re not thinking clearly. I know you want power, that you want to run this branch, but I’m thinking you’ve forgotten why we’re even doing this. This is about doing what Anatoly asked us to, and your secret agenda isn’t helping any of this,” growled Oliver.

 Before Oliver could blink, Alexei was going for a punch, but Oliver ducked it and responded by punching Alexei in the face, causing him to fall back onto the table. 

 “We’ll discuss this later. You need a day to sort out your priorities,” said Oliver as he stormed out of the conference room and slammed the door. Oliver knew that killing Donna, would help to make Victor look incompetent, but there was more than one way to go about it. Donna Smoak was not a good person, and by no means deserved to be happy, but Felicity believed that she was her mother. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how hard it would be for her to lose her mother on top of everything else.

 Oliver made his way to the gym, knowing that he would have to take out his frustrations on a punching bag. He spent over two hours at the gym, feeling somewhat less angry when he finished, but also still knew that Alexei would not let go of this idea lightly. 

 Alexei was like a brother to Oliver, and Oliver would do anything for him, but he also was a pain in the ass. His stubbornness and need for power, overrode every other good trait when push came to shove, and Anatoly was the only person to ever get him to see reason. Oliver knew he shouldn’t have lost his temper, but he couldn’t control himself. As soon as he mentioned Felicity, something flipped inside of him, and he wasn’t able to stop it. 

 Oliver decided that it would be best to talk to Felicity about the phone numbers she gave them, hoping that she would find an error, and he could come back to Alexei with something. If he at least had the proper phone numbers, maybe Alexei would let the Donna thing go, and Oliver could work out an alternative idea.

 Oliver made his way to Felicity’s room, entering only because the door was open, but when she saw him she jumped up and slammed her laptop closed.

 “Hey, you took me by surprise,” said Felicity nervously as she scrambled off the bed.  Oliver could sense her nervousness, but decided not to press on the matter assuming she was still a little nervous from their conversation this morning.

 “Sorry about that, I should’ve knocked. Today Alexei and I were looking at the list of phone numbers that you gave us, and something didn’t line up with them. Is there any chance that there was a mix up or mistake?” asked Oliver. 

 “Oh, yeah, I mean, I can look at the phone again and try to get the numbers,” replied Felicity. She tried her best not to show how nervous she was. If Oliver knew that she gave him the wrong numbers, she could get in serious trouble with the Bratva. 

 “Okay, thanks. I’ll have one of my guys give you the phone later since I don’t have it with me.”

 “No problem. Is that the only reason you came by?” asked Felicity.

 Oliver quirked his lips up, before moving closer to her.  “Definitely not the only reason I came. Want to go to dinner and a movie tonight?”

 “I’d love to, but no offense, please shower before then. Because you smell _bad_ ,” joked Felicity.

 “I think I smell good,” said Oliver as he came closer to her, causing Felicity to squeal and run away. Oliver was faster though, and caught her from behind while nuzzling his head in the crook of her neck. Felicity laughed loudly, her entire body shaking.

 “Oliver you smell so bad, you have to let go of me. I might suffocate,” said Felicity, her tone playful.

 “It’s rude to tell people they smell bad,” admonished Oliver, as he pulled her tighter to him.

 “How about if I make it up to you?” asked Felicity as she turned herself in his arms, her chest pressed right up against his own.

 “How so?”

 Felicity responded by pressing a kiss up to his lips, which was returned feverously by Oliver. Oliver tilted her head back with his thumb, while his other hand went low around her back. He ran his tongue along the seam of her mouth, before plunging it inside and controlling the rest of the kiss. He pulled back a minute later, looking down at Felicity as she gasped for breath. Felicity didn’t understand how someone could kiss so well.

 “I’m going to go shower, but I’ll meet you downstairs later,” said Oliver as he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and left.

 The playfulness she had just felt with Oliver dissipated as soon as he left the room. Oliver and Alexei knew something was wrong with the numbers. She had luckily emailed herself a copy of those numbers as well as saving them on to her now dead computer, and would give them to Oliver later, after he gave her the phone. He couldn’t find about this, it could possibly lead him or Alexei thinking she was the snitch. As much as she trusted Oliver, something felt off about Alexei, and especially since he was on task force to stop the snitch, she could not have him finding out about this. 

 It was dangerous, what she did, but she had no idea they’d be able to tell. She assumed they would just forget about the phone if the numbers led nowhere, but clearly they were important. Felicity knew it would be smart for her to look into the numbers herself, and find out whom this person was calling.  While she did feel guilty lying to Oliver, there was no way she could tell him about this. She knew for a fact he would never hurt her, despite his loyalties to the Bratva, but she didn’t want to put him in a position where he would have to choose her over the Bratva. 

 Felicity then decided to shower and freshen up before her dinner, leaving her laptop on the bed.  She had no idea Alexei was waiting outside her door for her to leave the room. Once Felicity entered the bathroom, Alexei made his way into her room silent, and picked up her laptop. He pushed a flash drive into the USB port and began to run his program. This was a different program than he had used before that allowed him to spy on everything Felicity did. It would send back reports to his phone of all the activity on her computer. The flash drive beeped a moment later and Alexei pulled it out before running out of the room.

 \--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 The next day, after Felicity was given the phone and had found the “error” in the previous numbers, she went to the conference room to give Oliver and Alexei the correct list. 

 “Sorry about the wrong numbers, I must have accidentally given you a copy of a different SIM cards phone records, but this list is correct,” spoke Felicity hurriedly as she placed the list on the table. Alexei eyed her suspiciously, before leaving the room with the information.

 Oliver looked up at her, a quizzical expression on his face, leaving Felicity to shift her feet nervously. 

 “What?” asked Felicity.

 “Nothing, I just am amazed you found the correct numbers so fast. It’s impressive,” replied Oliver, but there was something to his tone that Felicity couldn’t quite decipher.

 “I’m pretty good at what I do.” Felicity hoped the joke would get Oliver to stop looking at her that way, but nothing changed in his expression. 

“Yeah you are. I’m going to go look over those number with Alexei, but I’ll see you tonight,” replied Oliver before pressing a quick kiss to her forehead and leaving.

 It was clear to Felicity that Oliver knew something, but she hoped that if the numbers led somewhere, he wouldn’t suspect too much. It was obvious Alexei didn’t trust her, and the feeling was mutual. And just like that, her reality was brought back to her. This was the Bratva. You couldn’t trust anyone, and no one trusted you.

 While she knew Oliver wouldn’t hurt her or let anything happen to her, it didn’t mean that Alexei wouldn’t do nothing. She had to be more careful, a _lot_ more careful. The program she was working on would have to be put off for now, just incase anyone was watching. 

 This was the Bratva. When she was with Oliver, she forgot about that for a little while, but this had brought her back to her own reality. The Bratva was scary, not because of the murder and torture, but because there were so many layers to it, so many things that she didn't know. And the things that she didn't know, they would come back to bite her in the ass.

She had to be more careful, and there was only one man she could go to with all of this: John Diggle. It was time she told him everything. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FIVE YEARS LATER: (April 8th, 2017):

 Felicity looked through all of Victor’s bank statements one more time, but wasn’t able to find a payment to Cooper Seldon. Victor clearly covered his tracks, even going so far as to having Cooper murdered, but he had to have slipped up somewhere, and Felicity was going to find that slip. 

 She picked up the burner phone to call John, hoping he could give her some more intel. He must have risked a lot to find out what he did, and she hoped that he was keeping safe and not putting her needs above his own. John Diggle was too damn selfless, and Felicity feared him doing something reckless to help her.

 She dialed the number, but there was no response. Quickly, Felicity dialed again, but once again there was no response. She began to panic, imagining every single possible scenario that could have happened. John _always_ picked up his cellphone. There wasn’t a time, night or day, when John wouldn’t answer, and Felicity knew that something was wrong.

 “Oliver,” called out Felicity, hoping he could hear her voice from upstairs.

 “One second, I’m putting on a shirt.”

 “Wouldn’t mind if you didn’t” muttered Felicity to herself. A minute later Oliver was making his way down the stairs, regretfully with a shirt on. 

 “What’s up?” asked Oliver as he folded his arms, his muscles flexing, causing Felicity to gulp slightly. 

 “John isn’t answering my phone calls, and he _always_ answers my phone calls. Something’s wrong,” said Felicity, clearly very worried.

 “He might just be busy Felicity, if he’s in the middle of -”

“No. He always takes my calls,” interrupted Felicity.

 “How about you call him again tomorrow, and if he doesn’t respond I’ll have Roy look into it. Okay?” asked Oliver, hoping she would relax. If John were in trouble, he knew Felicity would do whatever it would take to save him, even risking her own life. And he wouldn’t let that happen.  

 “Oliver we can’t wait a whole day! What if he’s being tortured or killed or worse?” asked Felicity incredulously.

 “Felicity, I promise you that if something did happen, there is nothing we could do about it right away. How about I text Roy to look into it right now, but we still wait before calling him? If he’s detained, they would probably take his phone as well, and we don’t want them to know you’re calling.”

 Oliver’s logic made sense to her, and she knew that he was right, but just sitting back and doing nothing felt wrong. If something happened to John, Felicity wasn’t sure what she would do. 

 “What if I call Lyla?” asked Felicity, although she knew he would shoot down her suggestion.

 “Absolutely not. That would not only endanger you, but Lyla as well. Just wait for Roy to reply,” huffed out Oliver in annoyance.

 “Oliver -”

 “No. My answer is no. And it’s going to stay no. And when you ask me again in ten minutes, it’s still going to be no. Don’t fight me on this Felicity, you won’t win,” grunted Oliver, his voice leaving no room for an argument.

 Felicity decided to give up, knowing that if she wanted to do something, it would be better not to tell him. She settled on giving him a glare, before walking out of the room with the laptop and heading up stairs. She needed to do something to find Dig. 

 On the off chance his phone was with him, she could try and trace the call. Luckily for her, Cooper’s laptop had tons of different programs that she knew she could figure out. She began working on it, losing track of time, and before she knew it, Oliver was clearing his throat from where he stood leaning against the door jam.

 “What are you doing?” asked Oliver, a knowing look in his eyes.

 “Just checking Victor’s bank account, trying to find a connection and stuff.” Felicity was not a good liar, but hoped that this one would be convincing enough.

 “You’re a horrible liar Felicity, now please just tell me what you’re actually doing,” huffed out Oliver in annoyance.

 “Excuse me? You think you have the right to come in here and tell me what I can and can’t do. Newsflash, I never signed up for that. I agreed to let you help keep me safe, but if I want to do something, I damn well will do it. And you can’t stop me,” said Felicity angrily. It baffled her how Oliver could change from being understanding and rational to this obsessive control freak.

 Oliver growled before moving closer and towering over her from where she sat on the bed, “I’m not going to ask again. What are you doing?” 

 Felicity let out a small laugh, before standing up off the bed and narrowing her eyes. “You try to use your size and ability to intimidate people into talking, but that won’t work for me. You can grunt and growl all you want, threaten to lock me up, but it won’t matter. I don’t owe you any answers. The only person here who deserves answer is _me_. So either get the hell out of my way, or let this go. I make my own decisions”

 Oliver narrowed his eyes at her in return, suddenly aware of how close they were to each other. Felicity didn’t back down however, tilting her head up so she could meet his gaze. “I’m glad we understand each other. I’m going to keep working on this, and you can go do whatever the hell it is you want to do.” Felicity spoke calmly and evenly, before moving to turn towards the bed. 

 Before she could blink Oliver caught her arm and crushed his lips against hers, bringing her in for a bruising kiss. Felicity mewled in response, as Oliver moved them until she was up against the wall. He then brang her hands up, over her head, pinning them to the wall, giving him complete control. Oliver began to suck on her lower lip, causing her to moan, before moving both of her hands into his one hand, and using the other to stroke right under her breast. 

Felicity didn’t know what she was doing, allowing herself to be kissed like that, but she didn’t want to stop. Oliver was kissing her and as much as she wanted to yell and fight with him, as angry as she was with him for keeping secrets from her, she couldn’t stop kissing him. As he began to move his thumb under her breast, Felicity gasped  loudly, causing Oliver to smirk against her lips. He pulled his head back slightly, a devious look in his eyes, before crashing his lips against hers once more.

 This time the kiss was more intense, if that was even possible. Felicity started to grow dizzy, as everything she came to know and see was Oliver. Oliver’s lips on her lips, taking her, showing her, telling her everything he wanted to say without any words. All the nerves in her body were on edge as he move his hand up and down her body. It was as if he still knew every single nerve ending, every single spot that made her gasp and moan. As his tongue stroked inside her mouth, Felicity could taste him. The taste was something so strong and powerful, Felicity grew dizzy once more.

 This wasn’t kissing. 

 This was a silent battle and resolution at the same time. 

 This was Oliver tearing down all her walls she had put up, tearing down all the walls he had put up as well. Felicity could hardly catch her breath, but it didn’t matter, because what they were doing was the most intense feeling she had ever felt in her life. 

 This kiss was Oliver pleading with her “please don’t do this” and Felicity saying “I have to”. But the kiss was an understanding. It was a realization that neither of them would back down, and that they couldn’t stop one another. Oliver couldn’t tell her the truth, and Felicity would go after John. 

 This kiss said everything that they couldn't say. This kiss was everything.

 Eventually, Oliver pulled back, his hand releasing hers from above her head. Felicity let out a shaky breath, unable to look him in the eye just yet. They stayed there for a moment, both of them panting, but not letting go of each other or moving away. Oliver moved his forehead against her own, his eyes closed. “I can’t let something happen to you. I need you to be safe, and I’m sorry I act like an asshole, I just can’t lose you.”

 Felicity’s hand went up to stroke his jaw, before finally opening her own eyes and speaking. “You’re not going to lose me. And I know you want to keep me safe, but you can’t just expect me to sit back if someone I care about is in trouble. You have to let me find Dig.”

 “I know I can’t stop you. But please just tell me what you’re doing, and we’ll figure out the best way to go about it. Together. I promise not to be an ass about it again,” pleaded Oliver, his eyes opening once more. 

 “Okay. That works for me,” replied Felicity breathily. Neither of them said anything, as they both closed their eyes and just pressed their foreheads against each other. 

 They had their issues and problems, and there was definitely a lot of secrets between them, but there was also an understanding. They weren’t back together - by any means - but they were at least on the same page. Felicity no longer felt that anger and resentment she had held towards him for so long. Him killing Donna to save her had changed so many things about them. He wasn’t in it for the power or for being a captain, all he wanted was to protect her. And to keep his promise. He was still the same good man she had met all those years ago, and she knew it now. In her bones. 

 Before she could think about, Felicity wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her head in his chest. Oliver’s arms banded around her immediately and tucked her head under his chin. Felicity didn’t want to let go, but she knew that if something was wrong with John, they would have to find out about it immediately. She pulled back slowly, still not leaving his arms.

 “I’m sorry Felicity. For so many things.” Oliver wasn’t able to look her in the eye, instead focusing on the ground.

 “I’m not that angry anymore. You’re a good man Oliver.”  As Felicity spoke those words, Oliver looked up, his eyes meeting her own.

 “I’m not always a good man Felicity. I’ve made thousands of mistakes. I’ve killed and tortured people. I’ve lied and sabotaged people.  But I will always try to protect you.  And I know I can get so caught up in trying to protect you I don’t see straight, but I’m doing this for you.”

 “Oliver, as much as I appreciate that, I don’t need you to protect me. I can take care of myself. I make my own decisions, and you have to respect that,” replied Felicity, her hands reaching for his own.

 “I do respect that, I just can’t stand by and watch you risk your life -” began Oliver. 

 "Then help me.” Oliver blinked at her twice before nodding his head. “I’ve been trying to trace John’s cellphone using one of the programs on Cooper’s laptop. If I find it, maybe we can go find it. On top of that, If we show that the program was faked using Cooper’s laptop, at least the entire Bratva won’t think I’m a traitor, and it will be safe for me.”

 Oliver groaned at her words. Her plan was dangerous, very dangerous. “I think it would be unwise to show Cooper’s laptop before we can prove Victor did it. It will give him too much time to cover it up, and then you will never be safe while he’s still around.”

 “So we kill Victor.” The finality in her words scared him. Five years ago, Felicity would have never said anything like that, never would have thought anything like that. But everything had changed for her.

 “Felicity, you don’t want blood on your hands. We will find a way so that Victor spends the rest of his life rotting in a cell. But if we kill him, I promise you, you will regret that.” Oliver spoke evenly, hoping to reason with her. Felicity wasn’t a killer. She was fiercely protective over the people she loved, but she would regret it. And Oliver knew this.

 Felicity simply shook her head, a painful smile on her lips, “I’m not sure what I do or don’t want anymore. But I know that I will do whatever it takes to keep John safe. I’ve spent so long trapped in the Bratva…”, her voice cracked as she began to continue speaking, “I haven’t been allowed to make any of my own choices. And all my attempts to take down the Bratva or stop them have failed. _Everything_ is decided for me. And the man behind all of this, the man who does all of this, is Victor. And now he’s trying incredibly hard to get me killed. So why should I spare his life? Why do I have to do the right thing?”

 “I’m sorry Felicity, but I don’t have an answer for that question. I promise you that things will get better. That we will help John, if he even is in trouble, and that we will stop Victor. And then you will be free. It’s just a little bit longer, okay?” Oliver was willing his voice to stay steady, but he couldn't help it.  He knew she deserved so much better than all of this, and everything that she had been put through was heartbreaking. 

 “Okay… But let’s find John first, and then decide how to deal with the rest of it.” Felicity moved out of his grasp and began working on finding John again. 

 Oliver went downstairs and made her a sandwich and coffee, before bringing it upstairs for her. Felicity took the coffee willingly, sipping it slowly while she worked. Oliver said nothing as he sat with her, not wanting to leave her alone.

 Roy still hadn’t texted him back, which wasn’t unusual given that Roy was always busy. He still had other things he could be doing, but he couldn’t seem to leave Felicity. She grounded him. He would have to call Anatoly later, update him on everything that had happened, hoping that he would have a solution to their most recent problem.

 “I found it! His location is in Starling, at the mansion. If he’s there at this time, he’s probably being held there,” her voice stilled, suddenly realizing everything that could be happening to John, “oh my god, someone could be torturing him right now, Oliver we have to go get him!”

 Oliver rubbed his hand up and down her arm as she spoke, trying to calm her, before replying. “Okay, I’ll make some calls, and get my people to get him out. Roy hasn’t responded yet, so there’s a chance that he just left his phone, Felicity, and we can’t panic.”

 “Fine. But the second Roy responds, we need to come up with a plan of what to do. I’m not going to let anything happen to him.”

 “I know. For now, while we wait, I think you should rest. You’ve been working on the laptop non-stop,” spoke Olive as he pulled out his phone to text Roy once more. “I have to go make a few calls, but I’ll be back in an hour.”

 Felicity merely nodded as she watched Oliver leave the room, figuring he would probably walk to the beach in order to eavesdrop. At this point, Felicity didn’t have the energy to eavesdrop, all she wanted was for John to be safe.

 She closed her eyes, relaxing a little, before her burner phone rang. There were very few people who had the number to it, and Felicity immediately thought it was John. Opening up the cellphone, she heard a voice, a voice that she would never forget: Victor’s. 

 “We know this is you Felicity. We’re giving you twenty four hours to come to Starling and turn yourself in, otherwise John Diggle dies. Do I make myself clear?” sneered Victor. How he had gotten her phone number, she had no idea, but she assumed that John was tortured for it. 

 Felicity let out a choked sob, before speaking shakily, “I need proof that you have him. Send me a photo.”

 “I’ll do you one better Felicity,” spoke Victor, as she Dig crying out in the background, “Stop! I’ll come to Starling.”

 She hung up immediately, and began gathering her things. It was a good thing that Oliver was out, because he would never let her do this. She put the laptop and burner in her bag, before grabbing some clothes. She made her way downstairs, leaving a note for Oliver, explaining everything. She had emailed him the proof, and asked him to deliver the proof to the Bratva to clear her name. Even if it meant that Victor would get away with this, it was better that she at least clear her innocence. It didn’t matter what Victor did anymore. Felicity was going to stop him by putting a bullet in his brain. John Diggle was the last straw. Felicity wanted war.

 She rushed out to the car, and started it immediately. She avoided driving anywhere near the beach, just in case Oliver would see, and made her way onto the highway that would lead her to Starling. She knew Oliver would freak out, and that leaving him like this was wrong, especially after everything that they had said to each other, but she had no choice. John had a family, and he deserved to live. 

 When Oliver got back home and saw the note, he cursed loudly. He hadn’t been able to reach Anatoly, and Roy and Sara had confirmed to him that John was in custody. And now, Felicity had gone to sacrifice herself for John. He clenched his fists tightly, before texting Roy to release the proof that Felicity was innocent. While he had no doubt Victor would still kill her upon arrival, it would delay the rest of the Bratva from attacking her. 

 He had to get to Starling City.

 He stole a car from the neighbors, hot wiring it quickly, before making his way onto the road. He didn’t have much time. Felicity was about to trade her life for John’s, and he wasn’t going to let that happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all liked the chapter! I apologize for it being shorter than normal, but it made it so much easier for me to write on time, and made it easier for me to organize my chapters when I make them shorter! I'll update again by next Friday (probably a little earlier)! All your comments, kudos, reviews, etc. make my heart swell with joy and I appreciate every single one! Thank you all for sticking with this story!! <3 Gina

**Author's Note:**

> ahhh thank you for reading! did you like it?? please leave me a comment i'd love you so much for it!


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